Tattoos, Comfort, & Eighty Dollar Hoodies

Yeah...I know...another post...so soon. I blog without obligation. Remember? So stop swooning and start reading. ; )

The story of actually getting my tattoo is one worth sharing. When I took the PDF of my completed design to the Absolute Tattoo Company to get an estimate on cost and when I could have it done, I went on a Friday afternoon and I took Claire with me. You would've thought I was a regular at this place the way I walked into the door and started talking with these guys. I'm still kind of in shock...but I'm also in awe of myself. It was like "Old Mel" was standing outside the window watching "New Mel" take charge. "New Mel" rocks out loud by the way. ; ) Anyway, this young...shoot, they're ALL young...guy comes up to the counter...multiple piercings...in his face...and I ask him several questions. He takes my design into the back, talks to another young guy covered in ink, comes back out and quotes me a price. I then asked if I could make an appointment. He said, "Yes" then disappeared again. When he returned he said, "How about now?" I looked at him, pointed to the three year old child I had balanced on my hip, and said, "Umm? Dude?" He assured me that it was ok, other people bring their kids in all the time. I assured him that that wasn't going to happen in this case. I wasn't going to try and corral her while needles were buzzing my back. I told him I'd see him the next day at 2.

When I arrived on Saturday they were waiting for me. Everyone there, every single person, employee or client, was extremely kind and welcoming and just generally nice to be around. My artist, Marv, took his time explaining what was going to happen, what it would feel like, what I should do and not do, then asked me if I was ready. I said, "Marv? Should I take my shirt off?" He said, "Oh...yeah." I took my shirt off. Then I said, "Marv? How about the strap? You want that down?" He said, "Oh...yeah." I pushed my bra strap down my arm. Finally I said, "Marv? Would you like me to get my hair out of the way?" You can guess his answer, right? I have NO idea if these guys are used to dealing with women my age...or what. But they were all hilarious. It's like they didn't know how to act. One of them would drop an f-bomb and Marv would apologize. I assured him it was ok...I had heard that word at least once before and may have even used it on occasion.

Marv was very gentle with me, asked me continuously if I was all right. The other two youngsters that I had dealt with the day before each came over separately to check on me as well. What was SO funny to me is once they saw what Marv was doing? The first thing they said, in the same incredulous tone, was, "Oh WOW! This is your FIRST tattoo?" After that it was, "How are you doing? Are you ok?" Followed closely by, "Looks really good!" So what does that mean? I look to the outside world like I'm covered with hidden ink? LOL I mean it folks, I would go back there in a heartbeat. It was a 100% positive experience...one that makes me smile even now as I'm writing about it.

Let's talk some more about comfort...and tattoos...and $80 hoodies...

This summer, much to the surprise of everyone who knows me, I turned off my television. I'm the girl who has it on 24/7. Well...it's gone from 24/7 to zero. Yes, it's on for a couple of hours for Claire and Hope to catch Sesame Street, Max & Ruby, Phineas and Ferb, or any number of the other shows they are allowed to watch. But I haven't watched anything since...June maybe? Wow...even I'm amazed. The only thing I have been watching is Saving Grace...and I've been doing that on my laptop. I get TREMENDOUS peace from curling up in bed with my small screen and catching up with Grace. For those of you not familiar with Saving Grace you can read about it here.

Holly Hunter's portrayal of Grace Hanadarko...this independent, vibrant, take charge, love me as I am or get out of my life, amazing woman is nothing short of mesmerizing. Grace embraces LIFE. Can you see why I am so drawn to her? She has been sent a gift from God...a "last chance" angel named Earl. It seems that God has a plan for Grace, but she needs to clean up her act and fast. That's where Earl comes in. Earl is played to perfection by Leon Rippy. Earl's very presence, let alone his voice bring tears to my eyes...even at this moment. The night before Hope started school I was lying in bed, praying...and crying. I said, "Do you think maybe I could have a last chance angel like Earl?" And then? Peace...yes...like a river...as I imagined Earl not with me, but with Hope...sitting next to her on the bus...standing behind her when she does her work...waiting to catch her if she falls off the monkey bars. Ok...back in a minute...Mama needs a Kleenex...

So what does all this have to do with $80 hoodies? Shortly before I took my road trip, I watched an episode titled, "Am I Going To Lose Her?" In this episode, Grace is kidnapped by a childhood friend who has long stopped taking his meds for his schizophrenia. He ties Grace between two supports, tears her shirt off, drugs her, and tattoos her back. At the end of the episode the tattoo is revealed. He has given her...wings. Without giving away any more of the episode for those who may want to watch it, it had a very powerful affect on me. So several days later, as my demons were threatening to get the best of me I walked into Buckle and saw this exquisite creation staring at me:

And that is the story behind the $80 hoodie! :)

As always, be blessed y'all,

Looking Forward

One GIANT component of pulling myself up and out of the pit has been not only looking forward to a place where I no longer felt the way I did, but also having things to look forward to, just to get me through each day.

One of the articles I read about grief stated that you should surround yourself with things that comfort you. Again, folks? This is what worked for me. I'm not saying that ANY of what I did will work for you or anyone else you know. Find something that you think will work for you and run with it. If it doesn't work, try something else. Keep trying until you find YOUR peace.

1) Ice Cream---I dropped quite a few pounds during my time in the black hole. Yes, I hit my danger weight and I went below it. But I was also continuing to exercise every day and I wasn't showing any physical signs (or mental for that matter) of the return of my eating disorder. Stress, sadness, depression...yeah...you're gonna lose some weight. One afternoon, during Hope's first week of school I took some Ben and Jerry's out onto the patio with me while Claire was napping. It didn't solve anything. I cried before and after I ate it. But it did taste GOOD and I could stand to push a few extra calories so that went into the plus column.

2) Walking---This one was a big one. I continued walking every single day even at my lowest. Everything I said in my previous post about my walks still rings true. I had days where knowing I was going to be able to go for a walk was the only thing that saved me. The endorphin boost gave me enough energy to simply do the dishes, grab a shower, and go to bed. Again, I still felt miserable...I still wanted to crawl into a dark closet and stay there...I still cried constantly...sometimes even DURING my walks...but I made it THROUGH. I'm still walking...and while I'm walking...I'm SMILING...and singing too!

3) Music---Music has always been a great healer for me, but for some reason this time, it brought more hurt than help. There were some songs that I had grown dependent on that I simply couldn't listen to for a very long time. So, again, one afternoon during naptime, I went out to the patio with my laptop and a couple of brand new Rick Springfield CD's. I figured, if that boy couldn't help I might as well give it up. I was right. I reopened my heart to someone who has been writing perfect lyrics for years...and he's still doing it. Once I let him in, a rush of others followed. My MP3 player is now loaded with, of course, my two Steves, RS and 3 Doors Down just to name a few. And yes, some nights when I'm walking? I am singing...loudly...and no...I DON'T care if the people sitting on their front porches or working on their cars or sweeping their driveways hear. I don't even care if they look at me funny. You know what I do? I wave at them. Oh yeah...and I smile! ; )

4) Bed---Yes folks. There was more than one time during this time period when I would look at the clock and say OUT LOUD, "In just 12 more hours I can go back to bed." Sad, yes, but again, something I was looking forward to. I have started going to bed an hour earlier than I used to. Yes...it helped.

5) Grant---For those of you not familiar with "my Grant" you can read that post here. My subconscious decided that I obviously needed a visit from Grant. I haven't had a dream about him well...the last one I remember was shortly after I got married. And yet, here I was, sharing a park bench with him. It was as with all the others...best friends or best siblings. He was trying to make me laugh, and succeeding as always...shoving my shoulder with his, trying to push me off the bench. Me being me? Doing the same thing back. It was WONDERFUL and it lifted my spirits for that entire day. You know...I wonder if he has dreams about some wild haired redhead he's never met that always makes him laugh? Yeah...I'd still love to meet him in person.

6) Sitting On The Bed and Talking To God---God and I have had our ups and downs over the years. I didn't really know Him personally until, I don't know...the late 90's? There have been a lot of trust issues lately. I'm fairly certain He's glad to have me back learning what I've learned about Him. Once Claire is busy doing her thing downstairs in the mornings I head upstairs, sit on the side of the bed, and talk to God. Praying? I suppose, but not in the "conventional" sense of the word. I don't think conventional prayers use the rather colorful language I do. Again, I'd like to think that He's happy I'm turning TO Him at this point, rather than AWAY. Most mornings I cry...yes...still. Today is a day of all out happiness and peace...and I still cried this morning. Obviously, I needed to. I will continue with these morning talks for as long as He'll have me.

7) Trying Something New---For me? This means getting out of the house...by myself. You've read about the road trip. Well, I also had a girls' night out with two friends from high school that I haven't seen for almost 30 years. Yeah, I laughed myself silly that night. THANK YOU Jane and Sherri! One Sunday I meandered around Barnes & Noble by myself, sipping a peppermint hot chocolate and picking up books I'd never even THINK of reading. I bought two of them. I can't say I'd ever buy anything like that again, but I didn't HATE either one of them! HA! This one is an ongoing deal folks...I'll keep you posted.

8) Yeah...you should probably be sitting down if you aren't. And you might want to read this post if you haven't already. In that post I had said that I was done with piercings. Well...not exactly. I got two more twelve weeks ago. Oh stop it...they're all in my ears...I've got nine now. Piercings people...not ears...keep up will you? Also in that post I asked what y'all thought of tattoos.

I've been thinking long and hard about tattoos for many years...I believe that post was dated 2005? I decided long ago I wanted a saying done in Chinese characters. A couple of years ago I came up with a great idea and then chickened out. Several months ago I found a young lady online who will translate your great idea into Chinese specifically for a tattoo. Again...filed it away.

After the henna tattoo was gone...I missed it...and it had only been around for a week! The more I thought about it, the more I knew I was ready. I contacted Kathy at Chinese-Tattoos.com. After several days of working together, she told me that the idea I had really didn't translate, it was too specific, and to do it justice it would take a ridiculously long string of characters not suitable for a tattoo. She offered to refund my money as she was out of ideas. I told her to give me a few days...let me think about it...let me look around at her site which holds a WEALTH of ideas. I decided to do what I had basically done when I chose Hope and Claire's middle names. I was going to choose three characteristics that I want to display in my life...Mel's life...this Mel that I am becoming. I chose the characters, asked Kathy if I chose the correct ones...I was ok on two of them, she corrected my third. I chose font, size, placement etc. It took about two weeks via email to come up with what I was looking for. And she is an angel...I have NO problems recommending Kathy to ANYONE who would be interested in her services. She is AWESOME! Once it was finished, she emailed me the design in PDF format. I took it downtown, got a price, and an appointment for the next day.

Did it hurt? Not really. Would I do it again. In a heartbeat. These pictures were taken about a week afterwards. The ink has since gotten a lot brighter. Are y'all ok? Do you need to excuse yourselves for a bit? Get a glass of water? Dang...that Mel's gone middle age crazy or something...

So what traits did I choose? Reading vertically from left to right the characters read: courage, passion, balance.
And no...Mel hasn't gone middle age crazy...Mel is just finally learning how to LIVE.
Below is one of my newer theme songs. Yes, if you live in my neighborhood, chances are very good you've heard me belting it out once or twice.

Be blessed y'all...and don't forget to SMILE! %^ ]



Be Good To Yourself by Journey
Runnin' out of self-control
Gettin' close to an overload
Up against a no win situation
Shoulder to shoulder, push and shove
I'm hangin' up my boxin' gloves
I'm ready for a long vacation

Be good to yourself when, nobody else will
Oh be good to yourself
You're walkin' a high wire, caught in a cross fire
Oh be good to yourself

When you can't give no more
They want it all but you gotta say no
I'm turnin' off the noise that makes me crazy
Lookin' back with no regrets
To forgive is to forget
I want a little piece of mind to turn to

Be good to yourself when, nobody else will
Oh be good to yourself
You're walkin' a high wire, caught in a cross fire
Oh be good to yourself
Be good to yourself when, nobody else will

Well...I got another piercing.

Oh I can just see AND hear quite a few of you the minute you read that!

Bonnie is softly shaking her head "no" and thinking, "I hope she went to someplace that was clean and they used single use non-latex gloves."

Rachael is laughing hysterically while wondering, "I wonder if she got a tongue stud or a belly ring?"

Mrs. Miller, my first grade teacher is saying, "Ohhh...and Melissa was such a nice girl in first grade!"

Carol is shuddering violently and hoping it doesn't get infected.

Hey, Hey, Hey It's Pastor J. is either raising his eyebrows and saying, "Cool!" or he may have just choked on his lifesaver.

My brother is trying not to think about if there was any blood involved.

Jennifer is thinking, "Gosh...I wish I could run off to Las Vegas and have an Elvis impersonator give me a piercing."

Alicia is giving a weak "thumbs up" while all the time thinking, "OOO!!! I'll bet that hurt!"

Jess and Ali are simply saying, "Oh...just like Mom!"

Amy, Jane, & Suz are all thinking, "That just doesn't sound like the Missy we all used to know..."

I think Theresa may be giggling...

Ruth blurted out, "My angel did WHAT?!"

Eileen? "Kids will be kids."

And Rick, Terri, & Linda? They didn't even bat an eyelash...they are just waiting for me to get on with the point of this post.

I got my ears pierced for the first time when I was in maybe 6th grade? It was a big deal then...I had to go to a doctor to have it done. I added a second hole to each ear in college. I believe my dad said something like, "Well, I can't understand why you'd want ANOTHER hole in your head but they're your ears." A third hole was added to my left ear I believe when Garry and I were dating or shortly after we were married. I say "I believe" because I think we had our piercings done at the same time...how romantic. LOL Yes folks, for those of you that can't even begin to imagine it, you read it here first...Garry had one of his ears pierced...twice. It has long grown closed!

I was happy with a total of 5 spare holes in my head until a couple of years ago. I really like the look of a tiny hoop about midway up the ear. I went back and forth about being too old and then just decided to go for it. I had it done to the left ear a few months after we turned in our paperwork for Hope. It was kind of my "countdown". I knew that by the time it was healed and I could actually replace the stud with a tiny hoop, I'd be holding my baby.

Well...you do it for one daughter you have to do it for the other! On Saturday we added a third hole to my RIGHT EAR (sorry Rachael!) for Claire. Our agency told us to expect a wait of six months for a referral. The gal who pierced my ear told me to keep an earring in it for...six months!

I truly think I'm done now...well...until the grandkids are on the way. However, I'm running out of room on my ears. What do y'all think about tattoos? ")

Love ya!