Friday, February 27, 2009

Fingerprint Friday---A Letter To Hope's Birth Mama

Fingerprint Friday is hosted by Beki.

There is a song by Steven Curtis Chapman that says:

I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know its true
You're a masterpiece
That all creation quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God

Dear Birth Mama,

I don't know your name...or where you live...or even if you are still a part of this world...but I wanted to let you know that your daughter...OUR daughter is the most precious gift you have ever given.

My husband and I named her Hope An-Li...An meaning tranquility and Li meaning strength. The name chosen for her by the CWI staff was Han Tao meaning cold, big waves. I wish I knew what name you had chosen for her. I'd tell her you know. We talk about you all the time. She knows you loved her and wanted the best for her. She knows you kept her for a week before, for whatever reason, you chose not to. She knows that it might have been because she was so sick she couldn't keep food down and you couldn't afford medical care for her. (By the way, the staff at the CWI took excellent care of her. They fed her every single hour until she was able to gain weight and thrive.) She knows that you might have had to place her for adoption due to cultural reasons. She also knows that you dressed her as warmly as you could and placed her in a busy area where she would be found right away. We have pictures of the school where she was found...did you know I used to be a teacher? I don't know the name of the person who found her, but he or she took her to the police station and the police took her to the Anqing Children's Welfare Institute that same day. We have the clothes you dressed her in...and the note you left pinned to her. I can only imagine how precious these things are going to be to her one day.

The above picture was taken the day she joined our family. That is the director of the CWI, Mme. Xu Xian Mei. She is such an amazing woman. If Hope couldn't have been with you or me, then I'd want her to be with Mme. Xu.
She turned six last week. Can you believe it? It seems like just yesterday we were in China and she was being placed in my arms. She's a pretty awesome kid. She loves music...and she loves to me. She loves puzzles and figuring things her Daddy. She is more beautiful than these pictures could ever portray. I think she looks just like you...even though I've never seen you. Her hair...her eyes...her skin...these are all you. She talks all the time...I mean it...ALL the time. She is scary smart. She loves to read books and write the answers to questions about them in her reading journal. She can do incredibly difficult math problems. She likes to build with Legos...and play with Hot Wheels cars. She started school last fall and loves it. She often wonders what you are good at and what you like to do.

She lost her first tooth this week. She was sooooo excited.

I don't know why you couldn't keep her. But I know it was probably the hardest thing you've ever had to do...walking away from her and knowing you'd probably never hear anything about her ever again. I think of you often...but especially around her birthday. I know you must be thinking of her then and wondering what has become of her. I hold no anger towards could I? You gave me our child. She is my LIFE. I didn't know what living was until I held her for the first time. When I find myself losing patience with her or snapping at her, it's your eyes that I see looking back at me filled with are always here.

You know...the first time we saw her she had these little pointed ears...we called them Spock ears. But the more we looked at them, the point was more of a little squished spot that was just the size of a thumbprint. We've called them "God's thumbprints" ever since. We told her that when she was born, God put His thumbprint on her to show that THIS baby was the one chosen just for us. And she was...she truly was. Thank you from the very depths of my soul Birth Mama...I can never repay you for this gift. But I can and will raise her to the very best of my ability. She will be well fed...and well educated...and loved beyond all measure. I would die for our child.

I pray that somehow God would bless you with the knowledge that she is with a family who loves her unconditionally now and forever.

Thank you so very much,

Fingerprints Of God can be found on my playlist at the bottom of this page.


Carol said...

Mel...My only wish is that somehow...somewhere...Hope's birth mama could meet you and Garry and know that God gave Hope the very best parents He could ever have chosen for her. The last picture tickled me. I will copy it and post it in my studio. You think I can have it blown up poster-size??? She is JUST precious!

My love and blessings you all!


Auntie Carol

Mel said...

Auntie Carol,

I'll send you a there are a couple more.


artsyclay said...

What a precious face and such a beautiful letter. Thanks for sharing. Happy Fingerprint Friday!

Kat said...

Ya caught me bawling now.

What a miracle that brought you together. It is so amazing how God's plan works out.

Oh that the birth mother could only find this post. :)

Mel said...

Thank YOU artsyclay!

Kat...I had no intention of bawling when I started writing it. Yeah...I made it all the way to the part about the clothes her birth mama dressed her in and then it was all over. Adoption hormones...pregnancy hormones...they're all the same! ")

Rebekah said...

What a beautiful letter! I'm tearing up here, too, because of the empathy you have toward the birth mother. You are very special, yourself.

Your daughter is lovely :)

Beadin By The Sea said...

Okay, I'm in tears now. What a beautiful story and beautifully written.
Your daughter is lovely, you're so blessed to have each other.

pictureeachday said...

Oh! I have to go clean up my face now..

(and then check out this superhero thing)

Mel said...

Rebekah, you are too kind. I'm not that special really...I just have surrounded myself with very special people!

Beadin By The Sea...I know...I should've posted a Kleenex warning!'re so sweet...I have to do this again next month you know for my youngest daughter! Do share your superhero when you're done...I wanna see!

PamperingBeki said...

Ohmygoodness! I wasn't expecting to come here and cry, yet here I am in tears.

What a BEAUTIFUL girl! And to me, adoption has God's fingerprints all over it. He knows every child even in the womb, and planned for the day that you would become her mother.

Such a beautiful story! God bless you and thanks for participating in Fingerprint Friday.

Mel said...

Awww...thanks Beki. Yours is such a wonderful meme...I hope more folks decide to participate!

Jill said...

What a beautiful story and a even more beautiful daughter. What a blessing! And next time I read I will have a Kleenex handy. :)

Muppet Soul said...

(Hi! Pointing out my newness)

Oh boy...

Normally I leave silly notes, but I have to tell you... I'm adopted ( an adult, but an adopted adult) and it is so great. SO. GREAT... That you are talking with her about her birthmom and keeping her in your thoughts, etc.

That's exactly what my Mom did with me, and I am eternally grateful for her maturity & wisdom in doing so. As a result, I never felt 'weird' about being adopted, I never felt distrusting of my Mom.. And now it gives me the heebiejeebies hearing how some adopted parents handle their children's adoptions ( like it's a state secret. Like it's shameful.)


Anonymous said...

Your letter touched by heart! We finalized our son's adoption today! We are lucky to have our son's birthparents in our lives! Adoption is so wonderful!

littlebird said...

she's beautiful : )

Anonymous said...

Your little Hope is absolutely lovely.
I love that name.

Carolina said...

Oh Mel, that is just lovely! Just l o v e l y If only her birthmama could see her now or read your very endearing letter. You are such a warm person, your children must be equally pleased to have you as you are to have them.

Hugs xx

Carolina said...

Mel, I've left you an award over at my place. So if you want to come over and collect it...

XUE said...

Sheng re kuai le, An Li ! Happy belated wishes from Tokyo to one little girl!

Jay said...

Ah, that was so beautiful! I only wish you could get that to Hope's birth mother.

She couldn't wish for a better adoptive Mom for her little daughter.

Mel said...

Jill, thank you so much...I promise to post Kleenex Warnings at the top of these types of posts from now on.

Muppet Soul, your words mean more to me than you could know. THANK YOU.

Scott, Joanna, & Matthew... YAY!!!! CONGRATS!

littlebird and Mrs. B, you're absolutely right...and thank you for noticing! ;)

Carolina...I love you madly.

XUE I will certainly share your words with Hope An-Li. She LOVES learning about ANYTHING Chinese. ")

Jay you're a treasure...I think I'll keep you.

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