Wednesday, February 04, 2009

ABC Wednesday---C Is For Change

ABC Wednesday is hosted by Mrs. Nesbitt's Place.

The lyrics in italics quoted within this post are from "The Change" written by Tony Arata and Wayne Tester. It is an incredible song that can be found at the bottom of this post.

The first time Hope held her baby sister...right after Hope and Mama brought Daddy and Claire home from the airport.

One hand
Reaches out
And pulls a lost soul from harm
While a thousand more go unspoken for
They say what good have you done
By saving just this one
It's like whispering a prayer
In the fury of a storm

Never...ever...have we considered what we have done...adopting these precious saving them. If anything, their little hands have reached out and saved us. It all began as simply following what God was leading us to do...with giant neon signs.

Claire and Gussie taking a nap on our bed...three days after she came home from China.

And I hear them saying you'll never change things
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing
But it's not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world will know
That it will not change me

Those hands...reaching out to save us? Sometimes they are fur covered. You just have to listen with your heart.


This heart
Still believes
That love and mercy still exist
While all the hatreds rage and so many say
That love is all but pointless in madness such as this
It's like trying to stop a fire
With the moisture from a kiss

Two happy sisters...

And I hear them saying you'll never change things
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing
But it's not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world will know
That it will not change me

I have never set out to change the world. Yet change has occurred...GOOD change...and will continue to occur as long as I allow myself to be open to it. I can't say that God ever wanted me to be a teacher...ever. Yet that is the path I chose for myself. It wasn't an easy was full of heartache, disappointment, trials, and self doubt. It was nothing short of a miracle the first time I had a "neon sign" from God...and it was loud and clear...GET OUT OF TEACHING. So I did. I have thought back so many times about the kids that touched my life...I pray I didn't ruin them for all eternity! ") Yet He has shown me that He will use me...even if I'm NOT where He wants me to be...just by allowing me to be Mel...or in this case "Mrs. H." I've talked about Lisa before...and there is Becky who invited me to her graduation party...and too many to mention that I run into at the grocery store or at the mall...they all know me...they all speak first...they're all smiling. Yet there were two very special students that I always wondered about...

Ready for Christmas!

As long as one heart still holds on
Then hope is never really gone

The boys...Gus and Wally

I hear them saying you'll never change things
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing
But it's not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world we know
Never changes me

One was Denver. He wasn't an easy kid to love, but love him I did...fiercely. I fought for that boy...a lot...and sadly the system won. I ran into him a couple of years ago...he was in his early 20's...but still looked the same. I think it's that teacher gene...we're able to see the child...even when they are all grown up. When I called his name, he turned, looked at me, and said, "MRS. H!" Just the simple fact that he remembered me was enough to prove to me that everything I went through was worth it. He sat with me for awhile and we talked. He caught me up on the direction his life had taken. And then, out of the blue he said, "I still have that card you sent know...that birthday card? I think it was in fifth grade?" A couple of years after I had quit my job I was going through some papers and found a list of birthdays of former students...his was on it...and I sent him a card. Change...

The second student...and this isn't a secret...was my favorite of all time. This little wisp of a girl grabbed onto my heart with a death grip and I loved her like she was my own. I remember braiding her hair for her when she'd get to school...and hugging her even after our staff had been cautioned not to hug students without another staff member present to avoid lawsuits. I remember her coming to me the year AFTER she was my student crying...she'd lost her milk money...yeah...I gave her some...and a hug...and a kiss. There aren't enough words to tell you how much I loved my Michelle. We kept in touch until she graduated high school and then drifted apart. I'd see her name in the paper for being on the Dean's list at college...things like that. Well y'all...let me tell you...He works through Facebook too...because a couple of weeks ago, guess who contacted me there? My Michelle. And what she told me, in a few simple sentences...wiped away every bit of crap I ever went through during my tenure as a teacher. My now...a teacher...because of me. My Michelle told me enough wonderful things to make my heart sing for the next 50 years...but the one that shot straight through my soul was when she told me that she used to pray every night that I would be her and her twin sister's mom. I need a Kleenex. She's still breathtaking...inside and out...bright...I'm guessing she still has that infectious giggle of hers that I can still hear in my mind...and she's still all about FAMILY. And THAT is the change that she put forth in me. Michelle...did you ever guess you would've paved the way for me to have the family that I do today? I love you my girl.


What I do is so
This world will know

That it will not change me


Janie said...

Great song and wonderful story about your 2 children and the kids who touched you during your teaching career. There's nothing like a child to make us care and keep us caring about the world and what we can do in it.

Carolina said...

You must be a wonderful person!

Cheri and Shane said...

GREAT entry...and BEAUTIFUL pictures!! :)

Mel said...

Janie...I CHANGE everything!

Carolina...I don't think so...I'm just Mel...and so blessed to be surrounded by wonderful people.

Cheri...thanks girlfriend!

Carolina said...

Ah you're just too modest! You are wonderful because you joined the wonderful mad people that are my 'followers'. Whatever came over you?
Welcome lovely Mel!

Carol said...

Beautiful children,Mel, and a wonderful post...thanks for sharing...

XUE said...

Mel, in an old post in my blog about "a mother's tale" (10 May 2008), I went through days of true sorrow, wishing for someone who never want me. So I think I can understand how Michelle felt about you, how sad she must have been feeling to wish for you in that way. This is a touching post & I had tears. It takes courage to stay on the right path & with Michelle, she had in addition, a great role model. My old post will also explain to you, why I come back to visit yours, because of your girls.

Zhu nin xin nian kuai le! I wish you all, a ggod year.

Mel said...

Oh Xue...I remember that was so heartfelt...and so full of honesty and truth about what you were feeling. I just went back and read it again. I even forwarded the link to that post to another adoptive mom. I will certainly pass your words onto Michelle...she is coming to visit me this month!

Please come back anytime...I plan on checking on you frequently! ")

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