Wednesday, March 11, 2009

ABC Wednesday---H Is For Humphrey

ABC Wednesday is hosted by Mrs. Nesbitt's Place.


To read the life story of this precious boy
please go here...and here.

My dear readers...this is my precious gift from God, Humphrey. NEVER have I had such a wondrous gift placed into my care...never. If you thought my girls' stories were littered with Big Old Neon Signs From Above? Read Humphrey's story. I can still remember when he was a kitten and we thought he wasn't going to make it to his first birthday. I would hold his tiny, frail little body, kiss the entire length of his spine, and say, "Who's Mommy's precious gift from God?"

I chose the above picture...even though it has already been displayed on my blog...for two reasons. 1) It makes me smile! 2) It absolutely displays that rotten boy's personality! Humphrey was ALWAYS into something! ALWAYS! And just LOOK at him!!! He knows he's not supposed to be on my kitchen counter. He's completely unrepentant and he simply doesn't CARE! ") But it also shows what a beautiful healthy, strong boy he grew into. It shows the blessing we had for almost ten years. It shows my boy.

My boy left us almost two years ago. I still miss him on a daily basis...to the point of tears. And I am STILL amazed out of the six furry felines that Garry and I have welcomed into our home since 1985, that I would miss the troublemaker the most. And troublemaker he was...his nicknames included "Black Cat", "Anus Boy", and "El Diablo" just to name a few. Below is a portion of a blog entry from June of 2007:

~*~

Humphrey? Well, if you noticed the last post and the giant gap of time between posts I guess you've figured out that we lost our precious Humphrey. On the 17th I received news that *my* liver was just fine. On the 18th we received news that not only had the lymphoma spread to Humphrey's liver but he also had the start of fatty liver disease. There are NO words to tell you how badly this whole situation SUCKED. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone but even his oncologist used the same terminology. So, on the day after what we had always considered his birthday, we said good-bye to our boy. I can still hear Hopie screaming, "But Mama! I want to keep him!" Me too princess...me too.

All in all he was NOT a good cat! LOL He wasn't known for his good behavior. But as I told all of his doctors..."That boy was such an anus…yes…I said anus. We used that word to describe him every single day. 'Humphrey stop being an anus!' 'You’re such an anus!” 'Stop anusing about!' You get the idea. That boy had not one single solitary shred of impulse control. If he wanted to do something he did it…repeatedly…for years. Yet the cat who destroyed more breakables than all of my other cats together, was the same cat who sat next to his brother Horatio until Horatio’s seizures would pass. The cat who would find the highest perch in our bedroom at 2 a.m. and yowl like his toenails were being ripped out, was the same cat who would awaken me in the middle of the night kissing my face. The cat who would get behind furniture and chew electrical cords was the same cat who would walk me upstairs to bed every single night…and perhaps that’s when I miss him the most. He would hear me getting an allergy pill…yes…most cats come when they hear food…he came when he heard my allergy pills. He’d appear from wherever he’d been…and God only knows what he’d been doing there. He’d meow, raise that two foot long tail straight up in the air, I’d take hold if it, and he’d lead me up the stairs."

I miss him more than I ever imagined I would. The house is too quiet...I have much more time on my hands now that I don't have to keep an eye on his activities 24/7. Do I want another one like him? Absolutely not. Would I take *him* back? In a heartbeat.

I played "what if" for weeks...what if I would've noticed the lump sooner...what if we didn't let them operate...you get the idea. It was pointless and all it did was make me feel guilty...I believe I've read it's called survivor's guilt. I also spent a great deal of time being more angry than I ever thought I could be at God. For the life of me I still can't figure out WHY He'd want Humphrey back. One night in the shower (and you know that's where He does all of His talking to me) I was sobbing and basically saying what I just did here. I said, "What do you want me to do!!!???" Loud and clear I heard, "Trust me." I think I went certifiable right after that. "TRUST YOU??? ISN'T THAT EXACTLY WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING??? AND YOU STILL TOOK HIM AWAY FROM ME!!!!" For those who haven't known me for darn near all of my life, I trust no one. Honestly, I think The X-Files snagged my tagline. So to be asked to trust? He knew He was asking something major. Oh mercy...I've got a lump in my throat just thinking about it.

Long story short, I'm going to trust Him. It ain't easy...but I guess following His plan for our lives isn't. I choose to believe that something good will come of all of this. I don't know...maybe Hopie will grow up and find the cure for feline lymphoma...or human lymphoma. I would never ever say that to her though. If she's meant to do that I want her to go in that direction ON HER OWN.

~*~

Just reading that post...and the two before it...were so much harder than I could've imagined. And yes, I still have my moments with God. My trust is growing by baby steps, but it is growing. I thank Him daily that he hasn't taken another furry boy from our lives since April of 2007. For those of you that don't know we lost three of our precious boys from the summer of 2004-April of 2007. It really was just about more than I could take.

So what is the point of this H post? Well certainly not to relive the grief and pain that came with losing our Humphrey. And while his zest for life absoLUTELY deserves to be celebrated, that really wasn't my goal either. My purpose was to lay the groundwork for my next post. Love lives on...and no matter what I MIGHT have believed before? I have been given such an incredible peek into Heaven itself, such amazing proof...and maybe, just maybe that's why God wanted Humphrey back...to open my heart...my mind...my beliefs...or to do the same for someone who might just stumble upon this post and the next.

Please do come back on Friday...you won't be sorry...I promise! TRUST ME! ;)

4 comments:

Mara said...

Thank you for sharing that story. I hope all your other furry monsters are doing great!

Jay said...

Oh gosh ... all this is too familiar to me. The crying in the shower, the what ifs, the guilt, the terrible emptiness where a furry body should be (in my case dogs). I can't believe how much I miss those dogs, so I can perfectly understand how much you miss Humphrey. And losing more than one in a short time just about kills you, doesn't it?

Here's another 'H' - *hugs* to you.

I will check back again for you news! :)

Carolina said...

Mel my love, I hope you were all teary because of this? Or is there something else bothering you. Do I have your email? I will check your profile if it's there.
I will send you a photo of Mozes. It's eerie how much Humphrey and Mozes look alike. And would you believe: my precious Cosy died of lymphoma that had spread to her liver.
Horrible!

Hugs xx

Mel said...

Mara...thank you for your kind words...and thanks for dropping by!

Jay...you and your precious greyhounds are what inspired this and the next post.

Carolina...an email is on the way! xoxoxo

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