After reading that last post can you physically *feel* our frustration? ")
I have an incident to share with you that happened during Hope's adoption process. We weren't very far along in the paperwork when Chris called me one afternoon. She said, "How committed are you to adopting from China?" I told her, "Very!" She said, "Do you have any specific reasons?" I said, "How long do you have?" ") The reason she was calling was to offer Garry and I a set of twins from Kazakhstan...a boy and a girl who were, I believe, 8 months old at that time. She explained that since we hadn't gotten that far in our paperwork we could easily change programs. I was in shock. I told her that either Garry or I would get back to her later that day. I called him at work, told him what she said, and I swear to you I could literally hear his jaw dropping. He kept saying, "I don't know...what do you think...do you want to talk about it when I get home?" I told him that I didn't think that these twins were the babies for us and that he needed to call Chris so she could find parents for these children. I felt HORRIBLY guilty and have wondered so often if God had put Chris on the phone that day for a reason. Honestly, I'm tearing up right now just reliving it. Obviously we made the right decision as Hope couldn't be more *our* daughter had we created her ourselves...but every now and again I do wonder what happened to those babies.
Why did I feel the need to share that with you? Read on...
Last Wednesday the phone rang. It was a casual acquaintance of ours who works with one of our friends. We've spoken to this woman, usually simple pleasantries, perhaps a half a dozen times in the last ten years or so. She was calling to tell me that a relative of hers has a five month old baby that she can no longer take care of and basically wanted to know if we were interested. You want to talk going into shock?! Most of my brain shut down completely but I did hear myself telling her very politely, "Thank you so much for thinking of us but our papers are already in China and there will be a baby for us there." The whole thing was very flattering yet equally as unsettling. Garry was absolutely speechless when I told him about it. He and I are NOT comfortable with open adoption and that was one of our major reasons for going with China. I'm sorry but neither one of us is prepared to love, nurture, and raise a child only to have any member of the birth family show up six months to six years later and demand the child back. Our reasons for adopting this second time are very simple. We have enough room in our hearts and in our home for another child and we want Hope to have a sister who shares her same cultural background and heritage. We both feel VERY comfortable with our decision this time!
To continue this thread, I received an email this week from a friend from the past. We were close in Junior High until her family moved out of state. I haven't seen her since maybe 9th grade? She found me on the Internet several years ago and we've been keeping in touch. She opened her heart to me this week and told me an amazingly beautiful story. She had become pregnant at a very young age and after much prayer she put the baby girl up for adoption. That baby girl is now in her 20's and has reached out to her birth mother and father. They are in close contact, have shared a wonderful vacation, and are planning more get togethers. I couldn't be happier for all of them! She made a statement something like, "How awesome it is that your journey is beginning just as mine has come full circle." I'm positive God led her to tell me this...I know in the years to come Hope and Claire are going to have questions as to the feelings of their birth mothers. Now there is someone in our lives that we can ask who has gone through it herself.
Hugs!
Showing posts with label international adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label international adoption. Show all posts
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Labels:
birth family,
Hope,
international adoption,
open adoption
Thursday, June 23, 2005
The China Dossier Proper!
(I originally started typing this on June 19th...before we received our I-171H!)
The following will be a listing of the paperwork that is included in the dossier to China. We need TWO ORIGINALS of each and every document. Once completed, copies of these documents are to be forwarded to the agency where they will be checked to see if we need to make any changes or corrections. Once those are made the documents must be notarized, certified by the county, and state certified by the Secretary Of State. It is possible to skip a step by going to an attorney whose notary seal is current and valid for the entire state of Ohio...which we plan on doing again! This takes care of the first two steps. Once that is finished, we will drive our dossier to Columbus, write them a check, and wait the 10-15 minutes it will take for them to staple a piece of paper to each one that says it's certified. We are blessed to have an attorney who is also a family friend. He graciously did ALL of our paperwork for Hope as a gift. I believe there is a fee, per document, to have them county certified...and if I remember correctly, there is a $5 per document fee to have it certified by the Secretary Of State's office...you do the math. ") As always, any of the paperwork that requires a fee will be enclosed like *this*.
1. *Home Study*---This has already been completed and approved. The agency has already notarized it, gotten the county certification, and sent it to Columbus for state certification...as well as forwarding a copy to the INS/BCIS.
2. *Marriage License*---Garry drove to Wooster to get these. They already come certified with the raised seal so they will only have to receive certification from the Secretary Of State.
3. *Birth Certificate*---Garry picked up his while he was in Wooster and since I'm a Wadsworth Lifer, he only had to go downtown to get mine. Two copies per parent, these also come certified with the raised seal and will only need Secretary Of State certification.
4. Divorce Decree---N/A
5. China Medical Statement For Adoptive Applicant---These were first filled out by our doctor, then the form changed. So I filled in the new set and returned them for his signature! A basic physical exam is required along with blood tests and a urinalysis. This was covered under our insurance for Hope and we're fairly sure it will covered for Claire as well. The form wants name, date of birth, and address. There are 11 Yes/No questions under Medical History. It is basically a list of have you ever had Tuberculosis, Tumor, Heart Disease etc. The next section consists of information gathered during the physical exam and lab work. Height (in meters), weight (in kilograms), blood pressure, vision, hearing, heart, lungs etc. There is a lisiting of all of the blood/lab tests required and they want to know the date they were completed and if they were normal/abnormal or negative/positive. You will all be thrilled to know (as were Garry and I) that we are still HIV negative. Sarcasm folks...sarcasm. They want a list of any medications we are taking and for what purpose and if our health is suitable for raising a child. Doctor's signature, date, MD license number, and SPECIAL stamp...done. We got so wound up about this "special" stamp. We thought it was something issued by the AMA or something. Nope, it seems they just have a hard time reading the doctors' handwriting so they want a stamp on the paper showing name, address, phone number etc.
6. Employment Letter---To be written on company letterhead, by the employer, and state length of time employed and salary amount. We had this done at the same time we did our home study documents. We just asked for THREE originals at once! The wonderful woman who did this for Garry even gave us a spare. THANK YOU!
7. Non-Employment Statement---I wrote this one for myself, by myself. All it says is that after adopting Hope I decided to become a full-time stay at home Mama, and plan to continue as one after bringing Claire home.
8. Local Police Clearance---Again, we simply asked for THREE originals per parent when we went to have this done for the home study.
9. China Financial Statement For Adoptive Applicant---Name, annual income this year and last year, other annual income, life insurance amounts, listing and amount of assets, listing of liabilities, their monthly payment, and totals owed...totals for everything, and signatures!
10. Tax Form---Copies of pages 1-2 of last years 1040 form.
11. Passports---Copies of the inside front cover of our passports showing our picture and signature.
12. Letter Asking To Adopt---I think this one is pretty self explanatory! If you're interested in reading our letter let me know and I'll email you a copy. There are several statements that must be included but basically you are telling the Chinese officials about yourselves, why you want to adopt, and the type/age of child you are interested in.
13. Guardianship Statements---These are actually two separate documents. We need to write a letter to the Chinese officials stating who will be responsible for our daughters' care should anything happen to us. They want to know names, ages, jobs, if there are any other children in the home, if they are in good health, etc. The people whom we have appointed as guardians, need to also write a letter stating that they accept the responsibilty and re-state all of the same information we had in our letter.
14. Copy of I-171H Notice Of Favorable Determination---Holy Grail time folks. When you begin this process you are faced with Holy Grail Part One, the I-600A. This is called the Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition. You are letting them know your intent. I can't give you many details because Garry filled it out both times. We mailed it off, along with our check to the INS/BCIS in Cleveland on April 13th. They received it on the 14th and sent us a receipt for our check. A few weeks later we received a letter telling us when to report to Cleveland to have our fingerprinting done. If you remember, we had those done on May 31st. The INS/BCIS can't complete the process without the completed home study. They received ours on June 1st. You are told to expect Holy Grail Part Two, the I-171H within 60-90 days after they receive your home study. I STILL can't believe we actually HAVE it already...just 21 days after the home study reached Cleveland! The I-171H states, "Your advance processing application has been forwarded to the American Consulate or Embassy at Guangzhou, People's Republic of China and email sent 6/22/05. Approved for one (1) child. WHOO HOO!!!!!
(I originally started typing this on June 19th...before we received our I-171H!)
The following will be a listing of the paperwork that is included in the dossier to China. We need TWO ORIGINALS of each and every document. Once completed, copies of these documents are to be forwarded to the agency where they will be checked to see if we need to make any changes or corrections. Once those are made the documents must be notarized, certified by the county, and state certified by the Secretary Of State. It is possible to skip a step by going to an attorney whose notary seal is current and valid for the entire state of Ohio...which we plan on doing again! This takes care of the first two steps. Once that is finished, we will drive our dossier to Columbus, write them a check, and wait the 10-15 minutes it will take for them to staple a piece of paper to each one that says it's certified. We are blessed to have an attorney who is also a family friend. He graciously did ALL of our paperwork for Hope as a gift. I believe there is a fee, per document, to have them county certified...and if I remember correctly, there is a $5 per document fee to have it certified by the Secretary Of State's office...you do the math. ") As always, any of the paperwork that requires a fee will be enclosed like *this*.
1. *Home Study*---This has already been completed and approved. The agency has already notarized it, gotten the county certification, and sent it to Columbus for state certification...as well as forwarding a copy to the INS/BCIS.
2. *Marriage License*---Garry drove to Wooster to get these. They already come certified with the raised seal so they will only have to receive certification from the Secretary Of State.
3. *Birth Certificate*---Garry picked up his while he was in Wooster and since I'm a Wadsworth Lifer, he only had to go downtown to get mine. Two copies per parent, these also come certified with the raised seal and will only need Secretary Of State certification.
4. Divorce Decree---N/A
5. China Medical Statement For Adoptive Applicant---These were first filled out by our doctor, then the form changed. So I filled in the new set and returned them for his signature! A basic physical exam is required along with blood tests and a urinalysis. This was covered under our insurance for Hope and we're fairly sure it will covered for Claire as well. The form wants name, date of birth, and address. There are 11 Yes/No questions under Medical History. It is basically a list of have you ever had Tuberculosis, Tumor, Heart Disease etc. The next section consists of information gathered during the physical exam and lab work. Height (in meters), weight (in kilograms), blood pressure, vision, hearing, heart, lungs etc. There is a lisiting of all of the blood/lab tests required and they want to know the date they were completed and if they were normal/abnormal or negative/positive. You will all be thrilled to know (as were Garry and I) that we are still HIV negative. Sarcasm folks...sarcasm. They want a list of any medications we are taking and for what purpose and if our health is suitable for raising a child. Doctor's signature, date, MD license number, and SPECIAL stamp...done. We got so wound up about this "special" stamp. We thought it was something issued by the AMA or something. Nope, it seems they just have a hard time reading the doctors' handwriting so they want a stamp on the paper showing name, address, phone number etc.
6. Employment Letter---To be written on company letterhead, by the employer, and state length of time employed and salary amount. We had this done at the same time we did our home study documents. We just asked for THREE originals at once! The wonderful woman who did this for Garry even gave us a spare. THANK YOU!
7. Non-Employment Statement---I wrote this one for myself, by myself. All it says is that after adopting Hope I decided to become a full-time stay at home Mama, and plan to continue as one after bringing Claire home.
8. Local Police Clearance---Again, we simply asked for THREE originals per parent when we went to have this done for the home study.
9. China Financial Statement For Adoptive Applicant---Name, annual income this year and last year, other annual income, life insurance amounts, listing and amount of assets, listing of liabilities, their monthly payment, and totals owed...totals for everything, and signatures!
10. Tax Form---Copies of pages 1-2 of last years 1040 form.
11. Passports---Copies of the inside front cover of our passports showing our picture and signature.
12. Letter Asking To Adopt---I think this one is pretty self explanatory! If you're interested in reading our letter let me know and I'll email you a copy. There are several statements that must be included but basically you are telling the Chinese officials about yourselves, why you want to adopt, and the type/age of child you are interested in.
13. Guardianship Statements---These are actually two separate documents. We need to write a letter to the Chinese officials stating who will be responsible for our daughters' care should anything happen to us. They want to know names, ages, jobs, if there are any other children in the home, if they are in good health, etc. The people whom we have appointed as guardians, need to also write a letter stating that they accept the responsibilty and re-state all of the same information we had in our letter.
14. Copy of I-171H Notice Of Favorable Determination---Holy Grail time folks. When you begin this process you are faced with Holy Grail Part One, the I-600A. This is called the Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition. You are letting them know your intent. I can't give you many details because Garry filled it out both times. We mailed it off, along with our check to the INS/BCIS in Cleveland on April 13th. They received it on the 14th and sent us a receipt for our check. A few weeks later we received a letter telling us when to report to Cleveland to have our fingerprinting done. If you remember, we had those done on May 31st. The INS/BCIS can't complete the process without the completed home study. They received ours on June 1st. You are told to expect Holy Grail Part Two, the I-171H within 60-90 days after they receive your home study. I STILL can't believe we actually HAVE it already...just 21 days after the home study reached Cleveland! The I-171H states, "Your advance processing application has been forwarded to the American Consulate or Embassy at Guangzhou, People's Republic of China and email sent 6/22/05. Approved for one (1) child. WHOO HOO!!!!!
Labels:
china dossier,
fingerprints,
I-171H,
I-600A,
international adoption,
paperwork
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Today's topic...The Actual Home Study!
Yes, all of that paperwork and we still haven't talked about the real live home study. So, here goes...
Our agency assigned a social worker to our case when we were going through this process the first time with Hope. (The social workers are NOT employed by the adoption agencies. Imagine the problems THAT would create! There would be lawsuits all over the place with people claiming that the social workers were approving families just so the agencies could "make more money" through adoptions. ::shudder::) Our social worker is named Dena and she is a TREASURE! We are blessed to be able to continue to work with her during Claire's adoption process.
The first time through, she made two visits to our home. The first visit consisted of her interviewing both of us together and then individually, discussing issues dealing with our family history, marriage, our motivation to adopt etc. The second visit was her chance to walk through the house and fill out the form for our home safety audit. She took all of this information, plus all of the paperwork we had provided her with and put it together into a five page narrative which is THE HOME STUDY. It is an in depth document that covers the following topics: type of child desired, information about the adoptive father, childhood of the adoptive father, career and adult life of the adoptive father, information about the adoptivie mother, childhood of the adoptive mother, career and adult life of the adoptive mother, marital relationship, social and religious networks, attitudes and motivation to adopt, attitudes towards parenting, and home and finances. She ends the document with two paragraphs, the first stating that all of our references are positive and favorable. The final paragraph is her summary and recommendation stating that she feels we should be approved as adoptive parents.
This relatively simple and painless process was a nightmare the first time around! By NO fault of Dena's it was simply a nightmare! Someone at our agency and someone at Dena's employer, for whatever reason, didn't play nicely. They went back and forth for literally months wanting one more piece of information about this...or one more piece of information about that. It was harrowing. However, looking back I am able to see that our Hope wasn't ready for us yet...things happen for a reason!
This time the process was somewhat streamlined. Dena only visited once and it coincided with Hope's twelve month post placement visit. After she finished gathering Hope's information, she basically went through a copy of our first home study and asked if anything had changed. She also requires paperwork from us which we have completed and returned to her. I need to add that the amount of paperwork that your social worker requires varies greatly from one social worker to the next. Friends of ours who are going through the adoption process for the second time, with the same agency, were only required to submit three pieces of paperwork to their social worker.
The following is a list of paperwork that our social worker required from us. The letters after each item signify if this item was needed for Hope, Claire, or Both. Photocopies of the following were required from us:
1. the last five years tax returns (1040 form only)***B
2. the evacuation plan (with a primary and alternate escape route for each floor)---We have to have a plan posted in our home of what to do in case of fire. It is currently posted on our refrigerator along with emergency numbers!***B
3. the financial statement that we completed for the agency***B
4. the fire inspection completed for the agency***In Hope's case we needed to supply a photocopy of the inspection. For Claire we only needed to supply the date the inspection was to take place.
5. the local police clearance letters completed for the agency***B
6. the driving record reports completed for the agency***B
7. the child abuse clearance letters completed for the agency***B
8. proof of auto insurance (most recent statement/invoice)***B
9. proof of health insurance (copy of the insurance card)***B
10. medical statements for each individual completed for the agency***B
11. medical statements for non-parental members of the family***C
12. certified copy of marriage certificate***B
13. certified copy of all divorce decrees---NONE! ")
14. employment verification letter on company letterhead completed for the agency***B
15. proof of completion of CPR***Although we completed a CPR course our first time through we never received anything saying we had completed it. This was one of the sore points with the first home study. Someone at the agency wouldn't release it to Dena's employer until the employer released something else to her etc. The person at the agency who put us and who knows how many others through this type of ordeal is NO LONGER THERE. I can't thank Emily from the agency enough. She is GREAT! We explained that we didn't have anything saying we had completed the course and needed a copy for Claire's paperwork. She said she would provide Dena with whatever she needed! When Dena came to pick up everything I told her what Emily had said. Her response? "Melissa, I don't need anything about you taking CPR! {pointing to Hope} I can see you've already taken and passed it or you wouldn't have Hope!"
16. certificate of completion of childcare classes***H
17. copies of driver's licenses***B
18. well water test results---Not Applicable!
19. animal vaccination/shot records***B
20. pre-service training certificate***H
21. one picture of the family and one picture of the exterior of the house***B
22. guardian confirmation letter completed for the China dossier***B
23. legal documentation concerning any criminal record---Not Applicable!
Also needed were our fingerprint information and references. Dena collected those directly from the agency.
Dena called me yesterday to say that she needed a copy of Hope's medical form and that she had completed the update narrative and had turned it in. She was expecting it to be approved by the end of the week! YAY!!!!
Yes, all of that paperwork and we still haven't talked about the real live home study. So, here goes...
Our agency assigned a social worker to our case when we were going through this process the first time with Hope. (The social workers are NOT employed by the adoption agencies. Imagine the problems THAT would create! There would be lawsuits all over the place with people claiming that the social workers were approving families just so the agencies could "make more money" through adoptions. ::shudder::) Our social worker is named Dena and she is a TREASURE! We are blessed to be able to continue to work with her during Claire's adoption process.
The first time through, she made two visits to our home. The first visit consisted of her interviewing both of us together and then individually, discussing issues dealing with our family history, marriage, our motivation to adopt etc. The second visit was her chance to walk through the house and fill out the form for our home safety audit. She took all of this information, plus all of the paperwork we had provided her with and put it together into a five page narrative which is THE HOME STUDY. It is an in depth document that covers the following topics: type of child desired, information about the adoptive father, childhood of the adoptive father, career and adult life of the adoptive father, information about the adoptivie mother, childhood of the adoptive mother, career and adult life of the adoptive mother, marital relationship, social and religious networks, attitudes and motivation to adopt, attitudes towards parenting, and home and finances. She ends the document with two paragraphs, the first stating that all of our references are positive and favorable. The final paragraph is her summary and recommendation stating that she feels we should be approved as adoptive parents.
This relatively simple and painless process was a nightmare the first time around! By NO fault of Dena's it was simply a nightmare! Someone at our agency and someone at Dena's employer, for whatever reason, didn't play nicely. They went back and forth for literally months wanting one more piece of information about this...or one more piece of information about that. It was harrowing. However, looking back I am able to see that our Hope wasn't ready for us yet...things happen for a reason!
This time the process was somewhat streamlined. Dena only visited once and it coincided with Hope's twelve month post placement visit. After she finished gathering Hope's information, she basically went through a copy of our first home study and asked if anything had changed. She also requires paperwork from us which we have completed and returned to her. I need to add that the amount of paperwork that your social worker requires varies greatly from one social worker to the next. Friends of ours who are going through the adoption process for the second time, with the same agency, were only required to submit three pieces of paperwork to their social worker.
The following is a list of paperwork that our social worker required from us. The letters after each item signify if this item was needed for Hope, Claire, or Both. Photocopies of the following were required from us:
1. the last five years tax returns (1040 form only)***B
2. the evacuation plan (with a primary and alternate escape route for each floor)---We have to have a plan posted in our home of what to do in case of fire. It is currently posted on our refrigerator along with emergency numbers!***B
3. the financial statement that we completed for the agency***B
4. the fire inspection completed for the agency***In Hope's case we needed to supply a photocopy of the inspection. For Claire we only needed to supply the date the inspection was to take place.
5. the local police clearance letters completed for the agency***B
6. the driving record reports completed for the agency***B
7. the child abuse clearance letters completed for the agency***B
8. proof of auto insurance (most recent statement/invoice)***B
9. proof of health insurance (copy of the insurance card)***B
10. medical statements for each individual completed for the agency***B
11. medical statements for non-parental members of the family***C
12. certified copy of marriage certificate***B
13. certified copy of all divorce decrees---NONE! ")
14. employment verification letter on company letterhead completed for the agency***B
15. proof of completion of CPR***Although we completed a CPR course our first time through we never received anything saying we had completed it. This was one of the sore points with the first home study. Someone at the agency wouldn't release it to Dena's employer until the employer released something else to her etc. The person at the agency who put us and who knows how many others through this type of ordeal is NO LONGER THERE. I can't thank Emily from the agency enough. She is GREAT! We explained that we didn't have anything saying we had completed the course and needed a copy for Claire's paperwork. She said she would provide Dena with whatever she needed! When Dena came to pick up everything I told her what Emily had said. Her response? "Melissa, I don't need anything about you taking CPR! {pointing to Hope} I can see you've already taken and passed it or you wouldn't have Hope!"
16. certificate of completion of childcare classes***H
17. copies of driver's licenses***B
18. well water test results---Not Applicable!
19. animal vaccination/shot records***B
20. pre-service training certificate***H
21. one picture of the family and one picture of the exterior of the house***B
22. guardian confirmation letter completed for the China dossier***B
23. legal documentation concerning any criminal record---Not Applicable!
Also needed were our fingerprint information and references. Dena collected those directly from the agency.
Dena called me yesterday to say that she needed a copy of Hope's medical form and that she had completed the update narrative and had turned it in. She was expecting it to be approved by the end of the week! YAY!!!!
Labels:
Dena,
home study,
international adoption,
paperwork
Saturday, May 07, 2005
I'm sure this will be the first of many small (or large) rants that you will be reading over the next few months. I find it amazing that it has taken a little over two full months before I have become so frustrated that I want to scream at the top of my lungs. Maybe the second time through the process IS easier! ; ) I will say I haven't cried over it yet!
I realize I haven't given you the lowdown on the paperwork for the China Dossier yet...and I realize you are happy with that fact...but I'm going to whine about it never the less.
Apparently the Chinese government has become very particular with what they will and will not accept on the dossier papers. I don't have a problem with that. Please just tell me what you want me to do and I will do it. For this reason, our agency wants us to copy, fax, or email all of our dossier documents to them before we have them certified so they can make sure we've filled them out correctly. Again, I don't have a problem with that.
One of the couples we traveled with previously is going through the process for the second time with us in hopes that we will travel together again. Our friend took her dossier papers in to the agency this week to have them checked. She apparently met with a less than sympathetic individual who took a red pen and placed a large red X over each paper that had even the tiniest of mistakes on it. I fail to see how this is constructive or of any help to anyone. You've seen the list of documents we have to complete for the home study. The dossier is no different. There are many forms to fill out and also several letters that we have to write. Imagine how you would feel after spending hours and hours of your time on these papers, only to have someone X them out. I don't know about you, but I would feel like a discouraged, demoralized, insignificant child. Garry called and spoke with Chris, our angel who is the director of the China program. She apologized...even though it didn't happen to us...and promised we would not have to go through that experience. She said that she would probably have suggestions or corrections that we would have to make but she would make those notations in the margins of the papers. Somehow, I find that a much easier pill to swallow.
AND we found out that our China medical forms which are currently at our doctor's office being filled out are the wrong ones. China changed the form...again. This happened during Hope's adoption process as well. The forms are just about identical except for the fact that the questions are in a different order.
You do what you have to do. It is all part of the process...we got through it once we will do it again!
I realize I haven't given you the lowdown on the paperwork for the China Dossier yet...and I realize you are happy with that fact...but I'm going to whine about it never the less.
Apparently the Chinese government has become very particular with what they will and will not accept on the dossier papers. I don't have a problem with that. Please just tell me what you want me to do and I will do it. For this reason, our agency wants us to copy, fax, or email all of our dossier documents to them before we have them certified so they can make sure we've filled them out correctly. Again, I don't have a problem with that.
One of the couples we traveled with previously is going through the process for the second time with us in hopes that we will travel together again. Our friend took her dossier papers in to the agency this week to have them checked. She apparently met with a less than sympathetic individual who took a red pen and placed a large red X over each paper that had even the tiniest of mistakes on it. I fail to see how this is constructive or of any help to anyone. You've seen the list of documents we have to complete for the home study. The dossier is no different. There are many forms to fill out and also several letters that we have to write. Imagine how you would feel after spending hours and hours of your time on these papers, only to have someone X them out. I don't know about you, but I would feel like a discouraged, demoralized, insignificant child. Garry called and spoke with Chris, our angel who is the director of the China program. She apologized...even though it didn't happen to us...and promised we would not have to go through that experience. She said that she would probably have suggestions or corrections that we would have to make but she would make those notations in the margins of the papers. Somehow, I find that a much easier pill to swallow.
AND we found out that our China medical forms which are currently at our doctor's office being filled out are the wrong ones. China changed the form...again. This happened during Hope's adoption process as well. The forms are just about identical except for the fact that the questions are in a different order.
You do what you have to do. It is all part of the process...we got through it once we will do it again!
Labels:
china dossier,
international adoption,
rant
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
And now for the paperwork...
I realize that this is probably mind numbing for most people, but I wanted to give those of you who haven't been through the experience some idea of what the process entails. For those not interested in the details here's all you need to know: It is extremely stressful, time consuming, most often instrusive, highly redundant, tremendously confusing, and in the end worth every minute of it.
With that said, please note that I can only speak for what "my" agency, social worker, state, county, government etc. requires of us AT THIS POINT IN TIME. Everyone's experience is different...even with the same agency at the same time! Any item requiring a fee will be surrounded like *this*!
One of the "magic pieces of paper" that we had to have in before the end of 2004 to qualify for just the update of our home study is called the *Application For Adoption*. It was MUCH less detailed this time than when we began the process with Hope. It is comprised of three pages asking name, address, phone number, age, Fed Ex account number, employment and financial information, social security number, number of and date of divorce/divorces, health problems, daily medications, criminal convictions, passport numbers, country of citizenship, religious affiliation etc. It also asks why we wish to adopt, if we have done so previously, where we would like to adopt from, and how we have heard of their agency. The last page asks about history of mental illness, substance abuse, criminal convictions, counseling, and the time frame within which we want to adopt the child. Perhaps my favorite snippet is "Briefly explain how you intend to raise your child with religious/moral values:"...and they give you less than one inch of space.
The second magic piece of paper due before the end of last year was the *Ohio Department Of Job And Family Services Application For Child Placement*. This six page wonder is actually what initiates the home study. The first page wants name, address, phone number, cell numbers, emergency contact name and number, and whether we are applying to foster or adopt. Then, on the same page, names again and how we are related to each other, dates of birth, race, ethnic background, school grade completed, marital status and date of marriage, area of specialized education, employer, occupation, length of time with employer, gross annual income, days/hours of work in a normal work week, and our driver's license numbers. Page two wants our criminal history, number of bedrooms in the house, what type of bed is in each room, who sleeps in each room, and where the child to be placed will sleep. Also included on this page is a spot for us to write the directions from the agency to our home, and the names and addresses of the schools that the child will attend. Page three continues with school information. It then moves into asking if anyone in the family smokes, if smoking is allowed in the home, if there are pets in the home, if a business is run from the home, how many vehicles we have along with the models and makes, if they are insured, and if we have car seats. The final portion on page three wants to know how long we've lived at our current address and where we lived prior to moving here, as well as if we've been residents of the state of Ohio for the last five years. Page four goes into our employment history for at least the last ten years, and any information about any previous marriages OR significant relationships. The next section covers the "Type Of Child Will Consider". They want to know age, race, sex, number, and ethnicity. Page five wants a detailed listing of all of our past experience with children, and the names, addresses, phone numbers, and their relationship to us, of five non-relative references. This one bothered me. I mean, we've satisfied the agency, the county, the state, the country, The People's Republic Of China and we still need five more references to do this again? They also want to know if they can contact Garry's employer for a reference. The last page is all the legal stuff that is to be read before you sign on the dotted line and also asks how we heard of said agency.
The two magic pieces of paper were received by the agency before December 31, 2004 and we did nothing else, as previously planned, until March 2005.
We started with the home study portion. Below is a list of what we need to complete...here we go!
1. *Application For Child Placement*---completed in December 2004 and described above.
2. *Fingerprint Cards & Clearances*---Our fingerprints must be cleared by the state of Ohio and the FBI. When we went through this with Hope, we went to our local police department and had them taken using the inkpad and card method. Mine came back...apparently I can begin my life of crime as my left hand barely prints. I had to have them done again. This time we were able to go to a firm called "National Background Check, Inc.". They take your fingerprints electronically allowing you to know immediately if they are unreadable. Whenever I've been told that my prints were unreadable (at least three times previously), I was told to apply hand lotion. So I tried to do that this time. I was told not to, that everything would be fine. Want to guess what happened when she tried to scan my left hand? I had to rub my fingertips on my pants...then I had to rub them with a special tissue. It still took at least a half a dozen times...but they are done!
3. Child Abuse Clearances---We fill out two forms, one for each parent listing our name, date of birth, social security number, and address. We mail them along with photocopies of our driver's licenses, birth certificates, and/or social securty cards to the Ohio Department of Human Services in Columbus. In eight weeks or less we receive two form letters stating that we aren't listed in any registry as alleged perpetrators of child abuse or neglect. Now...here's the GREAT part about this one...at the bottom of each form letter you will find this statement: THE CENTRAL REGISTRY WAS NOT DESIGNED TO BE USED AS AN APPLICANT SCREENING DEVICE (e.g., FOR CHILD CARE RELATED EMPLOYMENT OR VOLUNTEER WORK, OR FOR FOSTER CARE OR ADOPTION) AND SHOULD NOT BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Classic, eh? ")
4. *Driving Record From The Ohio BMV*---We fill out two forms, one per parent that require name (twice), address (twice), phone, social security number, date of birth, driver's license number, and license plate number. We send it off along with our fee to the Ohio BMV in Columbus. In four weeks or less we receive our records from the registrar.
5. Required Classes---Let me just say that we did NOT have to take any classes this time and we were/are THRILLED! This is a requirement that is waived when you go through the process for the second time. It's not that they were bad classes...they weren't even boring! It was just nice NOT to have to do something again. When we went through it for Hope we had to spend, I believe it was an entire day, taking an Infant/Child CPR class in the morning and a Child Care Class in the afternoon. For our Pre-Service Training course we spent the day learning about issues that our child will certainly face at some point in her life. It was pretty in depth stuff and more than worth the time. All of these classes were scheduled by our agency and held AT our agency which made it very convenient.
6. Copy Of Marriage License---just a plain old photocopy...you'll see why that is so wonderful once we get to the China Dossier section! ")
7. Divorce Decrees if applicable---NOT!
8. Adoptive Applicant Financial Statement---A two page form wanting name, number of dependents, monthly income, monthly expenditures (listed), lists of assets and liabilities, and details of insurance coverage.
9. Employment Verification Letters---These need to be typed on company letter head and state job title, income, length of employment, and stability of future employment. They must also be signed by a "company representative".
10. Medical Statement---A two sided form that is to be completed for each household member. The front is to be filled out by the applicant and wants to know name, date of birth, and address. This is followed by several Yes/No questions such as: have you ever been treated for a serious or chronic illness, have you been hospitalized in the past five years, have you ever received, or been advised to seek, mental health services, and have you ever received, or been advised to seek, treatment for alchohol/substance abuse? If you answered yes to any of the above questions you are to write an explanation...again in about an inch of space. Next comes a list of diseases/conditions that they want you to check if you, your parents, grandparents, or siblings have ever suffered from, followed by that special inch of space to explain any boxes you may have checked. Finally they want to know if there is any history of other hereditary disease. This side is finished after we write in the name of the agency and sign and date it. The back side is to be filled out by our physician. They want to know the date of the last physical and the date of our last appointment, and how frequently he (our doctor) provides medical services to us. Next comes the five Yes/No questions which are basically the same as the ones on the front...just worded differently, and the space to explain any yes answers. Finally there is a space for a brief narrative where the physician is to state his/her professional opinion as to what kind of parents we would make. Then the usual signature, date, and state license number.
11. Authorization For Release Of Confidential Information---This is a one sided form, the same on the top as on the bottom. The top is for one parent, the bottom for the other. Name, address, social security number, sex, date of birth, place of birth, and the name of the agency is required to complete and release the information found in any police/criminal records check.
12. Local Police Clearance---Ok...this one reads like some old Marx brothers routine or something. Inside our home study packet of instructions/forms is a sample letter to complete this requirement. At the top in large letters it reads SAMPLE. It then reads POLICE LETTER HEAD. The sample letter consists of what should be put in the letter leaving A LOT of blanks for the person's information. We need three ORIGINALS for each of us. One original is for the home study and two more are for the China Dossier to be discussed later! I made a copy of the sample letter and wrote at the top: 3 originals per parent. The three of us went downtown to the police department on Saturday morning. We explained to the nice (and he was VERY NICE, please don't get me wrong) officer what we needed, he asked for our identification and then went to work on our letters. Perhaps ten minutes later he handed them back to us with a smile. I looked at what he had handed me and said, "Um...no." He had made photocopies of the sample letter...you know the one with SAMPLE and 3 originals per parent written at the top? Then he had filled in the blanks on each of them. He said, "Did I mess something up?" Garry explained what he needed to do to correct them. Then there was some concern as they don't HAVE a department letterhead. Another officer whipped one up on the computer and typed out the new letters and printed three for each of us. While they were printing Garry's they handed me my three originals and they had...spelled my name wrong. After checking Garry's and finding they were perfect we had to tell this man that there was yet another mistake. I felt HORRIBLE, and I was fighting a HUGE case of the giggles! He returned again, all smiles and said, "Ok, tell me what I did wrong on this bunch!" This time they were perfect. I thanked him profusely! I don't tell this story to berate our police officers, only to illustrate the frustration and pitfalls we encounter with the paperwork. This guy was a sweetheart!
13. Passport Copies---REALLY easy...just photocopy the page with our picture and signature.
14. Safety Home Audit---This form is completed by the social worker during one of her home study visits. You know...stuff like we have a working bathroom, no unvented space heaters, the house is childproofed, emergency numbers are posted etc. And yes, we have to have written instructions for a fire drill posted somewhere in our home.
15. Well Water Report if applicable---This would have to be completed by the county health department but since we don't have well water we got to skip it!
16. Fire Inspection Report---A two page form completed by a member of the fire department. The typical how many floors, bedrooms, smoke detectors etc. He also tested the smoke detectors and looked for unsafe cords etc. The same firefighter who did our inspection for Hope was here yesterday to do "Claire's" inspection. Again, just a wonderful individual. Hope loved him and wanted to follow him all over the house.
There were two other pieces of paperwork in our packet. One is called the Adoption Awareness Checklist. It is made up of eighteen statements/bits of information concerning actions or conditions that might develop with the adopted child. Garry and I had to initial each statement, then sign it and give it to our social worker to sign and date as well. The other piece of paper is basically an outline concerning the fees paid for the home study that we need to sign, saying that we have read it.
SO! There you have JUST THE PAPERWORK involved in the home study process. We turned in everything to the agency yesterday and thought we were done. You'd think I'd have learned by now wouldn't you? ; ) Nope. I got a call today that we neglected to complete a medical statement for Hope. Emily at our agency said she would send it out today. After THAT one is turned in our part of the home study is finished.
Are your eyes bleeding yet? Have you lapsed into a coma? More later!
I realize that this is probably mind numbing for most people, but I wanted to give those of you who haven't been through the experience some idea of what the process entails. For those not interested in the details here's all you need to know: It is extremely stressful, time consuming, most often instrusive, highly redundant, tremendously confusing, and in the end worth every minute of it.
With that said, please note that I can only speak for what "my" agency, social worker, state, county, government etc. requires of us AT THIS POINT IN TIME. Everyone's experience is different...even with the same agency at the same time! Any item requiring a fee will be surrounded like *this*!
One of the "magic pieces of paper" that we had to have in before the end of 2004 to qualify for just the update of our home study is called the *Application For Adoption*. It was MUCH less detailed this time than when we began the process with Hope. It is comprised of three pages asking name, address, phone number, age, Fed Ex account number, employment and financial information, social security number, number of and date of divorce/divorces, health problems, daily medications, criminal convictions, passport numbers, country of citizenship, religious affiliation etc. It also asks why we wish to adopt, if we have done so previously, where we would like to adopt from, and how we have heard of their agency. The last page asks about history of mental illness, substance abuse, criminal convictions, counseling, and the time frame within which we want to adopt the child. Perhaps my favorite snippet is "Briefly explain how you intend to raise your child with religious/moral values:"...and they give you less than one inch of space.
The second magic piece of paper due before the end of last year was the *Ohio Department Of Job And Family Services Application For Child Placement*. This six page wonder is actually what initiates the home study. The first page wants name, address, phone number, cell numbers, emergency contact name and number, and whether we are applying to foster or adopt. Then, on the same page, names again and how we are related to each other, dates of birth, race, ethnic background, school grade completed, marital status and date of marriage, area of specialized education, employer, occupation, length of time with employer, gross annual income, days/hours of work in a normal work week, and our driver's license numbers. Page two wants our criminal history, number of bedrooms in the house, what type of bed is in each room, who sleeps in each room, and where the child to be placed will sleep. Also included on this page is a spot for us to write the directions from the agency to our home, and the names and addresses of the schools that the child will attend. Page three continues with school information. It then moves into asking if anyone in the family smokes, if smoking is allowed in the home, if there are pets in the home, if a business is run from the home, how many vehicles we have along with the models and makes, if they are insured, and if we have car seats. The final portion on page three wants to know how long we've lived at our current address and where we lived prior to moving here, as well as if we've been residents of the state of Ohio for the last five years. Page four goes into our employment history for at least the last ten years, and any information about any previous marriages OR significant relationships. The next section covers the "Type Of Child Will Consider". They want to know age, race, sex, number, and ethnicity. Page five wants a detailed listing of all of our past experience with children, and the names, addresses, phone numbers, and their relationship to us, of five non-relative references. This one bothered me. I mean, we've satisfied the agency, the county, the state, the country, The People's Republic Of China and we still need five more references to do this again? They also want to know if they can contact Garry's employer for a reference. The last page is all the legal stuff that is to be read before you sign on the dotted line and also asks how we heard of said agency.
The two magic pieces of paper were received by the agency before December 31, 2004 and we did nothing else, as previously planned, until March 2005.
We started with the home study portion. Below is a list of what we need to complete...here we go!
1. *Application For Child Placement*---completed in December 2004 and described above.
2. *Fingerprint Cards & Clearances*---Our fingerprints must be cleared by the state of Ohio and the FBI. When we went through this with Hope, we went to our local police department and had them taken using the inkpad and card method. Mine came back...apparently I can begin my life of crime as my left hand barely prints. I had to have them done again. This time we were able to go to a firm called "National Background Check, Inc.". They take your fingerprints electronically allowing you to know immediately if they are unreadable. Whenever I've been told that my prints were unreadable (at least three times previously), I was told to apply hand lotion. So I tried to do that this time. I was told not to, that everything would be fine. Want to guess what happened when she tried to scan my left hand? I had to rub my fingertips on my pants...then I had to rub them with a special tissue. It still took at least a half a dozen times...but they are done!
3. Child Abuse Clearances---We fill out two forms, one for each parent listing our name, date of birth, social security number, and address. We mail them along with photocopies of our driver's licenses, birth certificates, and/or social securty cards to the Ohio Department of Human Services in Columbus. In eight weeks or less we receive two form letters stating that we aren't listed in any registry as alleged perpetrators of child abuse or neglect. Now...here's the GREAT part about this one...at the bottom of each form letter you will find this statement: THE CENTRAL REGISTRY WAS NOT DESIGNED TO BE USED AS AN APPLICANT SCREENING DEVICE (e.g., FOR CHILD CARE RELATED EMPLOYMENT OR VOLUNTEER WORK, OR FOR FOSTER CARE OR ADOPTION) AND SHOULD NOT BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Classic, eh? ")
4. *Driving Record From The Ohio BMV*---We fill out two forms, one per parent that require name (twice), address (twice), phone, social security number, date of birth, driver's license number, and license plate number. We send it off along with our fee to the Ohio BMV in Columbus. In four weeks or less we receive our records from the registrar.
5. Required Classes---Let me just say that we did NOT have to take any classes this time and we were/are THRILLED! This is a requirement that is waived when you go through the process for the second time. It's not that they were bad classes...they weren't even boring! It was just nice NOT to have to do something again. When we went through it for Hope we had to spend, I believe it was an entire day, taking an Infant/Child CPR class in the morning and a Child Care Class in the afternoon. For our Pre-Service Training course we spent the day learning about issues that our child will certainly face at some point in her life. It was pretty in depth stuff and more than worth the time. All of these classes were scheduled by our agency and held AT our agency which made it very convenient.
6. Copy Of Marriage License---just a plain old photocopy...you'll see why that is so wonderful once we get to the China Dossier section! ")
7. Divorce Decrees if applicable---NOT!
8. Adoptive Applicant Financial Statement---A two page form wanting name, number of dependents, monthly income, monthly expenditures (listed), lists of assets and liabilities, and details of insurance coverage.
9. Employment Verification Letters---These need to be typed on company letter head and state job title, income, length of employment, and stability of future employment. They must also be signed by a "company representative".
10. Medical Statement---A two sided form that is to be completed for each household member. The front is to be filled out by the applicant and wants to know name, date of birth, and address. This is followed by several Yes/No questions such as: have you ever been treated for a serious or chronic illness, have you been hospitalized in the past five years, have you ever received, or been advised to seek, mental health services, and have you ever received, or been advised to seek, treatment for alchohol/substance abuse? If you answered yes to any of the above questions you are to write an explanation...again in about an inch of space. Next comes a list of diseases/conditions that they want you to check if you, your parents, grandparents, or siblings have ever suffered from, followed by that special inch of space to explain any boxes you may have checked. Finally they want to know if there is any history of other hereditary disease. This side is finished after we write in the name of the agency and sign and date it. The back side is to be filled out by our physician. They want to know the date of the last physical and the date of our last appointment, and how frequently he (our doctor) provides medical services to us. Next comes the five Yes/No questions which are basically the same as the ones on the front...just worded differently, and the space to explain any yes answers. Finally there is a space for a brief narrative where the physician is to state his/her professional opinion as to what kind of parents we would make. Then the usual signature, date, and state license number.
11. Authorization For Release Of Confidential Information---This is a one sided form, the same on the top as on the bottom. The top is for one parent, the bottom for the other. Name, address, social security number, sex, date of birth, place of birth, and the name of the agency is required to complete and release the information found in any police/criminal records check.
12. Local Police Clearance---Ok...this one reads like some old Marx brothers routine or something. Inside our home study packet of instructions/forms is a sample letter to complete this requirement. At the top in large letters it reads SAMPLE. It then reads POLICE LETTER HEAD. The sample letter consists of what should be put in the letter leaving A LOT of blanks for the person's information. We need three ORIGINALS for each of us. One original is for the home study and two more are for the China Dossier to be discussed later! I made a copy of the sample letter and wrote at the top: 3 originals per parent. The three of us went downtown to the police department on Saturday morning. We explained to the nice (and he was VERY NICE, please don't get me wrong) officer what we needed, he asked for our identification and then went to work on our letters. Perhaps ten minutes later he handed them back to us with a smile. I looked at what he had handed me and said, "Um...no." He had made photocopies of the sample letter...you know the one with SAMPLE and 3 originals per parent written at the top? Then he had filled in the blanks on each of them. He said, "Did I mess something up?" Garry explained what he needed to do to correct them. Then there was some concern as they don't HAVE a department letterhead. Another officer whipped one up on the computer and typed out the new letters and printed three for each of us. While they were printing Garry's they handed me my three originals and they had...spelled my name wrong. After checking Garry's and finding they were perfect we had to tell this man that there was yet another mistake. I felt HORRIBLE, and I was fighting a HUGE case of the giggles! He returned again, all smiles and said, "Ok, tell me what I did wrong on this bunch!" This time they were perfect. I thanked him profusely! I don't tell this story to berate our police officers, only to illustrate the frustration and pitfalls we encounter with the paperwork. This guy was a sweetheart!
13. Passport Copies---REALLY easy...just photocopy the page with our picture and signature.
14. Safety Home Audit---This form is completed by the social worker during one of her home study visits. You know...stuff like we have a working bathroom, no unvented space heaters, the house is childproofed, emergency numbers are posted etc. And yes, we have to have written instructions for a fire drill posted somewhere in our home.
15. Well Water Report if applicable---This would have to be completed by the county health department but since we don't have well water we got to skip it!
16. Fire Inspection Report---A two page form completed by a member of the fire department. The typical how many floors, bedrooms, smoke detectors etc. He also tested the smoke detectors and looked for unsafe cords etc. The same firefighter who did our inspection for Hope was here yesterday to do "Claire's" inspection. Again, just a wonderful individual. Hope loved him and wanted to follow him all over the house.
There were two other pieces of paperwork in our packet. One is called the Adoption Awareness Checklist. It is made up of eighteen statements/bits of information concerning actions or conditions that might develop with the adopted child. Garry and I had to initial each statement, then sign it and give it to our social worker to sign and date as well. The other piece of paper is basically an outline concerning the fees paid for the home study that we need to sign, saying that we have read it.
SO! There you have JUST THE PAPERWORK involved in the home study process. We turned in everything to the agency yesterday and thought we were done. You'd think I'd have learned by now wouldn't you? ; ) Nope. I got a call today that we neglected to complete a medical statement for Hope. Emily at our agency said she would send it out today. After THAT one is turned in our part of the home study is finished.
Are your eyes bleeding yet? Have you lapsed into a coma? More later!
Labels:
fingerprints,
home study,
international adoption,
paperwork
Thursday, April 21, 2005
I don't think we'd been home from China for a full two weeks before we started talking about doing it again. Which is really bizarre because neither one of us adjusted well to being half-way around the world for two weeks. I think we both knew we would be going back again but this time it was different. I wasn't getting the blatant neon hints from Above. After a lot of prayer and still "nothing" I recalled a teaching I had heard from Joyce Meyer concerning growing in faith. [I don't mean to trample on anyone's beliefs or non-beliefs here. I figure anyone who is reading this knows what I believe anyway! ") ] In this teaching she described what she called "baby Christians"...people who need to have constant reassurance and signs from God in order to keep the faith. *DING* That certainly rung a big old bell of truth. I decided that it was time to mature in my faith and proceed, knowing (hoping...praying) that this was what God wanted us to do.
I guess you've probably figured it out that we will be naming our new daughter Claire. I was having a heck of a time coming up with names that would "grow" with her. The only two I could think of that I liked were Bailey and Hannah. Hannah has been done to death in the last few years and I couldn't imagine anyone named Bailey over the age of sixteen. Garry tossed out three or four suggestions and when I heard Claire, I knew that was the one. I love the way "Hope & Claire" go together. I am still in the process of coming up with a Chinese middle name for her...stay tuned.
We decided that we weren't going to start any paperwork until March of 2005 for several reasons. We didn't want to be totally stressed out over the holidays; we wanted to be able to focus on Hope and only Hope for her second birthday (February 20th); and by March I would be done with the monthly progress reports. Once we returned home from China we had to complete a monthly report for the next twelve months describing Hope's physical, mental, and emotional progress. We sent the reports, along with several current pictures of Hope to our agency who in turn had the reports translated and forwarded to Beijing. As is usually the case, God's timing was somewhat different from ours.
Several days before Christmas 2004 I received a call from someone at the adoption agency. We had planned on using the same agency that had facilitated Hope's adoption for Claire's adoption as well. Jean, the caller from the agency, explained that she was calling to check on Hope and see how she was doing. We chatted for several minutes when she suddenly asked, "So, are you going to do it again?" I told her that we were indeed going to adopt again. She said, "Well, you know that you only have to have an update of your home study done, right?"
Allow me to digress and explain this. The home study portion of the adoption process consists of paperwork (duh!) for the agency, two home visits and interviews by a social worker which she/he puts into written form, and in our case more paperwork for our social worker. As with anything, there is also a fee involved that not only covers the home study portion but also post placement. Post placement consists of two more visits from the social worker, at six and twelve months after returning home with your child. We were told that the completed home study expires in one year. If you wish to adopt again after that year, you will need to have the entire home study re-done; if you begin the process before that year is up, you only need an update.
Ok, back to the story...I told Jean that our home study had expired quite awhile ago and that we would have to start again from scratch. She told me no. I told her yes. This went back and forth for awhile until she put me on hold to check with "the boss". When she returned she said, "HA HA! I was right! You were wrong!" It may very well have been the first time I was elated at being wrong! She told me that as long as we had two "magic" pieces of paperwork and the registration fee in to the agency by December 31, 2004, we qualified for only having the update done. This is not only a savings in time, but in money! We ended up only having to pay for the post placement portion of the home study fee. On top of that, our wonderful social worker, Dena, was coming to do our twelve month post placement visit for Hope on December 30th. While she was here for that, she also took care of everything she needed for the home study update for Claire. The papers were hand delivered to the agency and, as the title says...our journey continues. [...and what was that part about not receiving any signs? ") ]
I guess you've probably figured it out that we will be naming our new daughter Claire. I was having a heck of a time coming up with names that would "grow" with her. The only two I could think of that I liked were Bailey and Hannah. Hannah has been done to death in the last few years and I couldn't imagine anyone named Bailey over the age of sixteen. Garry tossed out three or four suggestions and when I heard Claire, I knew that was the one. I love the way "Hope & Claire" go together. I am still in the process of coming up with a Chinese middle name for her...stay tuned.
We decided that we weren't going to start any paperwork until March of 2005 for several reasons. We didn't want to be totally stressed out over the holidays; we wanted to be able to focus on Hope and only Hope for her second birthday (February 20th); and by March I would be done with the monthly progress reports. Once we returned home from China we had to complete a monthly report for the next twelve months describing Hope's physical, mental, and emotional progress. We sent the reports, along with several current pictures of Hope to our agency who in turn had the reports translated and forwarded to Beijing. As is usually the case, God's timing was somewhat different from ours.
Several days before Christmas 2004 I received a call from someone at the adoption agency. We had planned on using the same agency that had facilitated Hope's adoption for Claire's adoption as well. Jean, the caller from the agency, explained that she was calling to check on Hope and see how she was doing. We chatted for several minutes when she suddenly asked, "So, are you going to do it again?" I told her that we were indeed going to adopt again. She said, "Well, you know that you only have to have an update of your home study done, right?"
Allow me to digress and explain this. The home study portion of the adoption process consists of paperwork (duh!) for the agency, two home visits and interviews by a social worker which she/he puts into written form, and in our case more paperwork for our social worker. As with anything, there is also a fee involved that not only covers the home study portion but also post placement. Post placement consists of two more visits from the social worker, at six and twelve months after returning home with your child. We were told that the completed home study expires in one year. If you wish to adopt again after that year, you will need to have the entire home study re-done; if you begin the process before that year is up, you only need an update.
Ok, back to the story...I told Jean that our home study had expired quite awhile ago and that we would have to start again from scratch. She told me no. I told her yes. This went back and forth for awhile until she put me on hold to check with "the boss". When she returned she said, "HA HA! I was right! You were wrong!" It may very well have been the first time I was elated at being wrong! She told me that as long as we had two "magic" pieces of paperwork and the registration fee in to the agency by December 31, 2004, we qualified for only having the update done. This is not only a savings in time, but in money! We ended up only having to pay for the post placement portion of the home study fee. On top of that, our wonderful social worker, Dena, was coming to do our twelve month post placement visit for Hope on December 30th. While she was here for that, she also took care of everything she needed for the home study update for Claire. The papers were hand delivered to the agency and, as the title says...our journey continues. [...and what was that part about not receiving any signs? ") ]
Labels:
Claire,
Dena,
growing in faith,
Hope,
international adoption
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
I thought that it might be a good idea to post Hope's story first, for those of you who haven't heard or read it yet. It will give you a good background as to how the idea of adoption first came into our lives! The original piece, titled "Our Most Precious Gift", was published in our church newsletter while we were in China. The final two paragraphs were added after we returned home.
~*~
I've heard it said that you never know what God may have in store for you. If I didn't believe it then, I certainly believe it now. This story begins over two years ago, in the summer of 2001...
One bright, sunshiny, summer morning I awoke after having what I considered to be an odd dream. Not odd bizarre, just odd like, “well that was odd”. In this dream, I was a mother to a little Asian girl. Maybe I considered it odd because Garry and I were in our late 30's and about as WASP-ish as you can get! In any case, I couldn't seem to stop thinking about it.
Shortly after having the dream it seemed I was being bombarded daily with images of beautiful little Asian girls. There were articles in the paper about couples adopting from China; a Cleveland weather forecaster adopted a baby girl from China and Channel 5 did a story on her journey; Garry and I would be sitting in the restaurant at Buehler’s when a Caucasian couple would arrive with two little Asian daughters. You get the idea!
I’m sure you all realize that we had never been blessed with children and we had come to a point in our lives where we were truly OK with that. We figured if God wanted us to have kids, He'd find a way...did He ever!
We talked about different ways to bring a child into our lives that summer and fall. When all was said and done, we decided that international adoption was the way to go. We both decided that the end result would be well worth the cost and less risky than going through a million and one hormone treatments with no guarantee of a pregnancy. Unfortunately, adoption within the United States is just about impossible for folks of our age. We could wait from five to nine years for a healthy infant only to lose the child if the child’s birth parents or a member of either of their families decide they want the baby back. And of course there was the Asian thing and the two of us being as far from Asian as we can get! Well, I just kept praying, asking for signs. You know, I wanted to be sure this wasn't something that only I wanted but that God wanted Garry and I to undertake. After all, international adoption isn't exactly easy or cheap.
The last week of November 2001, I was sitting on our living room floor finishing up some last minute items for the E.J. Thomas craft show I was scheduled to do that weekend. Garry had just left for our veterinarians' office to pick up some supplies for our two cats, Garth and Humphrey. While I was sitting there, and I will never forget this as long as I live, I looked towards Heaven and said, “Lord, if this is really what you want me to do you're just going to have to drop it in my lap. I don't even know where to begin.”
A few moments later the phone rang and it was Garry. He was on his way back from the vets' office and he had something special to share with me. He refused to tell me anything about it on the phone so as you can imagine my curiosity had the better of me by the time he walked through the door. The first words out of my mouth were, “Well? What?!”
It seems that our vets, who are a husband and wife team, were happy to see Garry because they had wanted to talk to us. They were leaving for China in a few weeks to pick up their new daughter and they wanted to know if I would help them take care of her. I got chills...I got BIG chills. When I told Garry what I had just prayed for, he got BIG chills.
Long story short, I took care of little Lillian for several months and fell in love with her. We also were able to get information about the agency that facilitated Lillian's adoption. The same month I stopped taking care of Lillian, Garry and I started our paperwork to adopt a daughter of our own from China. I won't kid you, there is a TREMENDOUS amount of paperwork involved and many, many hours spent taking classes, having a home study, having your home inspected, having your background checked, getting fingerprinted etc. China also has one of the longest, if not the longest waiting period...you can pretty much count on waiting at least a year after you finish your paperwork before you have any news of your daughter.
We have waited so long for our precious Hope. Some days I feel as if I can't stand to wait another second...but then God grants me some more patience and reminds me that He started all of this; He knows the perfect moment to place her in our arms. Our “official” date was to be March 2004. During the summer I spoke with the director of the China program at our agency and she told us that they were actually working two months ahead of schedule! Can you believe it?! So our official notification date became January 2004. We, of course, kept praying things would speed up even sooner, (which they did!) but again, all in God's perfect timing!
God has sent many wonderful people and circumstances to encourage us along the way; like the Caucasian family we ran into at The Golden Corral restaurant with two Chinese daughters. The girls were darling in their matching cheerleading uniforms and their mother was more than gracious and very supportive when I told her our story. Or how about when we decided to sell our condo and move into a larger, more child-friendly home? When we went back for a second look at the house we were interested in, the price had just been lowered that day...and the real estate company selling the home bought our condo outright so we didn't have to worry about going through the hassle of selling it.
One of the most startling incidents came from one of our new neighbors. One day last summer she came over to introduce herself and shoved a picture into my hand. In that picture was one of the most adorable little Chinese girls I've ever seen. Yes, they were adopting from China also. They brought their daughter home just before school started this fall. She is a three year old bundle of energy and joy! How awesome God is! Our daughters will be so blessed to be right across the street from each other.
And last, but certainly not least, there is Jennifer. I met this wonderful girl online more years ago than I care to think about. She is one of the most intelligent, creative, and beautiful individuals I have ever had the honor of calling my friend. Jennifer and I don't share similar backgrounds, skin colors, or political views...yet I love her as if she were my sister. I know deep within my heart that God sent her into my life to prove to me that I could love someone who "didn't look like me".
Just when we thought we couldn’t stand to wait a minute longer, on October 30th, two days before our 17th wedding anniversary, we got a call from the agency telling us that our dossier was in referral, which meant we were finally being matched to our daughter! We weren’t supposed to be this far along if you remember, until January of 2004!
The next call came on my 41st birthday; Thursday, November 13th. The good news this time was that our daughter's picture was on its way from China and we would actually be looking at it on Monday. The next three days seemed to drag on endlessly. Early Monday afternoon Chris (our angel at the agency) called and told me that she was looking at our daughter's picture and she was beautiful. She told me her name was Han Tao, her birthday was February 20, 2003, and that she had roly-poly legs. I called Garry as soon as I hung up with Chris. He left work, went directly to the agency, picked up Han Tao's picture and information and came straight home.
So many adoptive parents have told us that they knew the moment they saw their referral picture that that was their child. I'd like to say I had that same feeling but I pretty much went straight into shock! However, within two hours I couldn't look at her beautiful face without crying. She is my baby. She is definitely the one God has chosen to be Garry's and my daughter.
Our Christmas present for 2003 came two days early. Chris called again, this time to tell us that our most treasured daughter would be placed into our arms on January 29, 2004. As you can imagine, life has been a flurry of activity ever since.
As if we hadn't already had enough signs from God that this is exactly what we were supposed to be doing, we received several more:
All of our flights are with United Airlines where my dear father worked for most of his adult life. Dad left us when I was nineteen. I have no doubt he will be watching over us as we are in the air.
Our appointment at the U.S. Embassy in China to secure our daughter's visa and passport is scheduled on my precious grandmother's birthday. Grandma left us when I was only twelve. I can't think of a better guardian angel.
And finally, I was looking at the calendar the other day and Hope was born just two days after we turned in all of our paperwork. Han Tao will now be known as Hope An-Li; An meaning “tranquility” and Li meaning “strength”.
So now, our dear church family, twenty months after we started, we are finally going to hold our most precious gift. I know without a doubt, that moment is going to be well worth the wait.
Peace and joy to you in 2004!
~*~
Two more things that can’t be left out…she never made a single sound when they handed her to me…she just grabbed my finger and looked up at me as if to say, “Well, it sure took you long enough!”
Secondly, three days after she joined our family we were given the opportunity to visit her orphanage. We were presented with several gifts from her orphanage including the clothes her birth mother had placed her in and the note that was left with her. We were also given the blanket she used while she was at the orphanage. Later that night at the hotel while I was showering, Garry was inspecting everything. When I got out of the shower, he was sitting on the bed crying. I asked him what was wrong and he told me to take a look at Hope’s blanket. Before I continue, I have to tell you I was extremely worried about how our two cats were going to take this huge change in their lives. I truly wasn’t worried about her adjusting…just them! He moved out of the way, and there, woven into my most treasured daughter’s blanket, were two kitties; one of them with grey tiger stripes like my Garth, and the other all black, like my Humphrey. Garry said, “Now, no more worrying. Your daughter has been sleeping under this blanket for the last eleven months. I think everything is going to be O.K. once we get home.” He was right. It was.
~*~
I've heard it said that you never know what God may have in store for you. If I didn't believe it then, I certainly believe it now. This story begins over two years ago, in the summer of 2001...
One bright, sunshiny, summer morning I awoke after having what I considered to be an odd dream. Not odd bizarre, just odd like, “well that was odd”. In this dream, I was a mother to a little Asian girl. Maybe I considered it odd because Garry and I were in our late 30's and about as WASP-ish as you can get! In any case, I couldn't seem to stop thinking about it.
Shortly after having the dream it seemed I was being bombarded daily with images of beautiful little Asian girls. There were articles in the paper about couples adopting from China; a Cleveland weather forecaster adopted a baby girl from China and Channel 5 did a story on her journey; Garry and I would be sitting in the restaurant at Buehler’s when a Caucasian couple would arrive with two little Asian daughters. You get the idea!
I’m sure you all realize that we had never been blessed with children and we had come to a point in our lives where we were truly OK with that. We figured if God wanted us to have kids, He'd find a way...did He ever!
We talked about different ways to bring a child into our lives that summer and fall. When all was said and done, we decided that international adoption was the way to go. We both decided that the end result would be well worth the cost and less risky than going through a million and one hormone treatments with no guarantee of a pregnancy. Unfortunately, adoption within the United States is just about impossible for folks of our age. We could wait from five to nine years for a healthy infant only to lose the child if the child’s birth parents or a member of either of their families decide they want the baby back. And of course there was the Asian thing and the two of us being as far from Asian as we can get! Well, I just kept praying, asking for signs. You know, I wanted to be sure this wasn't something that only I wanted but that God wanted Garry and I to undertake. After all, international adoption isn't exactly easy or cheap.
The last week of November 2001, I was sitting on our living room floor finishing up some last minute items for the E.J. Thomas craft show I was scheduled to do that weekend. Garry had just left for our veterinarians' office to pick up some supplies for our two cats, Garth and Humphrey. While I was sitting there, and I will never forget this as long as I live, I looked towards Heaven and said, “Lord, if this is really what you want me to do you're just going to have to drop it in my lap. I don't even know where to begin.”
A few moments later the phone rang and it was Garry. He was on his way back from the vets' office and he had something special to share with me. He refused to tell me anything about it on the phone so as you can imagine my curiosity had the better of me by the time he walked through the door. The first words out of my mouth were, “Well? What?!”
It seems that our vets, who are a husband and wife team, were happy to see Garry because they had wanted to talk to us. They were leaving for China in a few weeks to pick up their new daughter and they wanted to know if I would help them take care of her. I got chills...I got BIG chills. When I told Garry what I had just prayed for, he got BIG chills.
Long story short, I took care of little Lillian for several months and fell in love with her. We also were able to get information about the agency that facilitated Lillian's adoption. The same month I stopped taking care of Lillian, Garry and I started our paperwork to adopt a daughter of our own from China. I won't kid you, there is a TREMENDOUS amount of paperwork involved and many, many hours spent taking classes, having a home study, having your home inspected, having your background checked, getting fingerprinted etc. China also has one of the longest, if not the longest waiting period...you can pretty much count on waiting at least a year after you finish your paperwork before you have any news of your daughter.
We have waited so long for our precious Hope. Some days I feel as if I can't stand to wait another second...but then God grants me some more patience and reminds me that He started all of this; He knows the perfect moment to place her in our arms. Our “official” date was to be March 2004. During the summer I spoke with the director of the China program at our agency and she told us that they were actually working two months ahead of schedule! Can you believe it?! So our official notification date became January 2004. We, of course, kept praying things would speed up even sooner, (which they did!) but again, all in God's perfect timing!
God has sent many wonderful people and circumstances to encourage us along the way; like the Caucasian family we ran into at The Golden Corral restaurant with two Chinese daughters. The girls were darling in their matching cheerleading uniforms and their mother was more than gracious and very supportive when I told her our story. Or how about when we decided to sell our condo and move into a larger, more child-friendly home? When we went back for a second look at the house we were interested in, the price had just been lowered that day...and the real estate company selling the home bought our condo outright so we didn't have to worry about going through the hassle of selling it.
One of the most startling incidents came from one of our new neighbors. One day last summer she came over to introduce herself and shoved a picture into my hand. In that picture was one of the most adorable little Chinese girls I've ever seen. Yes, they were adopting from China also. They brought their daughter home just before school started this fall. She is a three year old bundle of energy and joy! How awesome God is! Our daughters will be so blessed to be right across the street from each other.
And last, but certainly not least, there is Jennifer. I met this wonderful girl online more years ago than I care to think about. She is one of the most intelligent, creative, and beautiful individuals I have ever had the honor of calling my friend. Jennifer and I don't share similar backgrounds, skin colors, or political views...yet I love her as if she were my sister. I know deep within my heart that God sent her into my life to prove to me that I could love someone who "didn't look like me".
Just when we thought we couldn’t stand to wait a minute longer, on October 30th, two days before our 17th wedding anniversary, we got a call from the agency telling us that our dossier was in referral, which meant we were finally being matched to our daughter! We weren’t supposed to be this far along if you remember, until January of 2004!
The next call came on my 41st birthday; Thursday, November 13th. The good news this time was that our daughter's picture was on its way from China and we would actually be looking at it on Monday. The next three days seemed to drag on endlessly. Early Monday afternoon Chris (our angel at the agency) called and told me that she was looking at our daughter's picture and she was beautiful. She told me her name was Han Tao, her birthday was February 20, 2003, and that she had roly-poly legs. I called Garry as soon as I hung up with Chris. He left work, went directly to the agency, picked up Han Tao's picture and information and came straight home.
So many adoptive parents have told us that they knew the moment they saw their referral picture that that was their child. I'd like to say I had that same feeling but I pretty much went straight into shock! However, within two hours I couldn't look at her beautiful face without crying. She is my baby. She is definitely the one God has chosen to be Garry's and my daughter.
Our Christmas present for 2003 came two days early. Chris called again, this time to tell us that our most treasured daughter would be placed into our arms on January 29, 2004. As you can imagine, life has been a flurry of activity ever since.
As if we hadn't already had enough signs from God that this is exactly what we were supposed to be doing, we received several more:
All of our flights are with United Airlines where my dear father worked for most of his adult life. Dad left us when I was nineteen. I have no doubt he will be watching over us as we are in the air.
Our appointment at the U.S. Embassy in China to secure our daughter's visa and passport is scheduled on my precious grandmother's birthday. Grandma left us when I was only twelve. I can't think of a better guardian angel.
And finally, I was looking at the calendar the other day and Hope was born just two days after we turned in all of our paperwork. Han Tao will now be known as Hope An-Li; An meaning “tranquility” and Li meaning “strength”.
So now, our dear church family, twenty months after we started, we are finally going to hold our most precious gift. I know without a doubt, that moment is going to be well worth the wait.
Peace and joy to you in 2004!
~*~
Two more things that can’t be left out…she never made a single sound when they handed her to me…she just grabbed my finger and looked up at me as if to say, “Well, it sure took you long enough!”
Secondly, three days after she joined our family we were given the opportunity to visit her orphanage. We were presented with several gifts from her orphanage including the clothes her birth mother had placed her in and the note that was left with her. We were also given the blanket she used while she was at the orphanage. Later that night at the hotel while I was showering, Garry was inspecting everything. When I got out of the shower, he was sitting on the bed crying. I asked him what was wrong and he told me to take a look at Hope’s blanket. Before I continue, I have to tell you I was extremely worried about how our two cats were going to take this huge change in their lives. I truly wasn’t worried about her adjusting…just them! He moved out of the way, and there, woven into my most treasured daughter’s blanket, were two kitties; one of them with grey tiger stripes like my Garth, and the other all black, like my Humphrey. Garry said, “Now, no more worrying. Your daughter has been sleeping under this blanket for the last eleven months. I think everything is going to be O.K. once we get home.” He was right. It was.
Labels:
China,
Garth,
God's perfect timing,
Hope,
Humphrey,
international adoption,
Jennifer,
patience
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Well, here it is! I guess if you are reading this you really want to be here...at least for now...
I've spent the last two weeks playing with HTML and trying to get this page to look the way I wanted to. I actually cried tears of joy and relief when I figured out the last bit of stubborn code that had been eluding me for the last two days. Those of you who know me well, know that I can get obsessed very easily with the minutest detail. This project was no exception.
Beginning next week, I will begin posting updates on where we are in our second adoption process. Please feel free to leave questions or comments!
I've spent the last two weeks playing with HTML and trying to get this page to look the way I wanted to. I actually cried tears of joy and relief when I figured out the last bit of stubborn code that had been eluding me for the last two days. Those of you who know me well, know that I can get obsessed very easily with the minutest detail. This project was no exception.
Beginning next week, I will begin posting updates on where we are in our second adoption process. Please feel free to leave questions or comments!
Labels:
html,
international adoption
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