ABC Wednesday---X Is For Xu Xian Mei

ABC Wednesday is hosted by Mrs. Nesbitt's Place.

This lovely young woman is Xu Xian Mei. She is the current director of The Anqing Children's Welfare Institute...where my Hope spent the first eleven months of her life. This picture was snapped shortly after she exited the long awaited "Baby Van"...the van that carried not only my oldest daughter, but also the daughters of six other very impatient families who were waiting on pins and needles inside the lobby of The Novotel Hotel in Hefei. I didn't know who this elegant woman was...nor did I recognize the baby she was carrying as my own. But it would all become clear in a matter of moments.

That's Mme. Xu again, in the brown coat with her back towards the camera...holding Zhu Han Tao...in her little pink Peter Rabbit outfit. The gentleman with his arm around Mme. Xu, is "Uncle Zhou"...he's kind of like my own version of American Express...I don't want to leave home for China without him...hired by our agency to take the best possible care of us while we were in country. He is checking out the babies...one by one as they are carried into the hotel lobby by an employee from The Anqing CWI. Notice all the nervous and happy new parents with cameras? Me? I'm standing just out of frame...crying...in total shock...wondering which baby is mine. And for the first time ever, I just noticed that Han Tao's head is turned directly towards me...like she knew. I'll be back in a few...I need a Kleenex...

Ok...so after they paraded through the lobby, they proceeded to climb a rather large, rather impressive staircase to the next floor where they settled in what I remember to be as a HUGE conference room...with seven sets of "we can't wait another minute for our baby" parents, grandparents, and siblings close behind.

The babies and their caregivers were taking seats in an alcove to the left. Cameras were being fired up...tears were being shed...nervous giggling could be heard...some were absolutely positive they knew which baby was their own...others had not a clue. Me? I was crying and standing near the door, ready to make a quick getaway. Garry? He knew her the moment she got off the van. MANY thanks to all who took these pictures and shared them with our entire group. I, for one, will forever be in your debt.

Uncle Zhou asked if everyone was ready...one mother who had been through this before said, "You're a fool Zhou!" We all laughed. Zhou pulled out his little notebook and called the name of one of the families. The exuberant mother stepped forward, verified her baby's Chinese name, and was handed a beautiful new daughter. Zhou said, "Who's next?" Nobody moved. He moved closer to Mme. Xu and spoke to her, then repeated his question, "Who's next?" He looked across the room...directly at me and said, "You want to go next? This your baby?" I remember so vividly every single person in front of me just parting...moving to either side of me until I was looking into the eyes of who I knew was my reason for living. And...me being me...I remember joking, "I'll just take whichever one is left." More laughs from the crowd. Zhou motioned for me to come forward...I was asked to speak my child's given Chinese name. I managed to squeak out, "Zhu Han Tao" which is what I am saying in the picture above. I can STILL see Mme. Xu's sparkling eyes looking into mine as she handed me my Hope...this child I had waited my entire life for...and all I could do was look at this beautiful woman and whisper, "thank you" over...and over...and over.

Two days later we were given the extreme pleasure of visiting the CWI. It was, and continues to be a trip I will treasure. To see how my child spent her first eleven months...where she slept...see the obvious love her caregivers had for her...before she could be with me...it was simply priceless. Made even more precious by the fact that I was unable to travel to China, and share any of these early experiences with Claire.

Mme. Xu is an angel...a true gift from God. Whose beauty, serenity, generosity, and kindness will forever be a part of Hope's life story.

Be blessed y'all,

Today's thankful post is brought to you by Hershey's chocolate...specifically Hershey's Chocolate Bar with Almonds. Our awesome neighbor sent one home for Mama with the girls when they went trick or treating. Yeeeeessssss...it has lasted this long and noooooooo...I didn't misplace it. Today was the first day that I NEEDED it. Therefore, I am thankful for chocolate.

Coming in at a close second is hot...steaming hot...decaf Typhoo tea. It is extremely delightful on a snowy, gray day like today...after a Hershey's Chocolate Bar with Almonds! ")

Soooo...it's been a rather...well...usual month for this time of year. For my long time readers you may remember that Hope goes stark raving crazy beginning sometime in October and it pretty much lasts well into the new year. The kid is a loon around the holidays and this year she's takin' her sister along for the ride. I've had just about all of the "Mama not only are we not listening to you but we don't even realize you are speaking" days I can take. The simplest requests are ignored...at least three times...sometimes six...at which point Mama has steam comin' out of her ears.

Getting Hope ready and out the door for school in the morning is, well, when I tell Garry goodnight as I head up to bed most evenings I say, "I need to get some sleep so I can fight the bear first thing in the morning." Don't get me wrong, she still LOVES school...but I would have to get her up somewhere around 2:30 in the morning to allow her to get ready on her own schedule and have her at the bus stop by 8:30. And let's not forget that when she arrives home every day she promptly has a screaming meltdown which lasts anywhere from 5-15 minutes.

Claire has decided that it is her sole purpose in life to rip/shred/tear/or otherwise destroy any or all books in the house OR anything that might happen to belong to her sister. Another favorite pastime is grabbing whatever Hope is playing with and either sticking it in her mouth and licking it and/or tossing it over the locked safety gate in the family room. Either one of those actions then brings on several minutes of blood curdling screams from Hope followed by the same from Claire as I put her on the bottom step for time out.

I used to watch a show called Jon & Kate Plus 8. This show follows the lives of Jon and Kate, parents to twins and sextuplets. I don't know how Kate manages to hang onto her sanity...I truly don't...especially when she's got eight children shrieking at once. I haven't had a chance to catch it in a long time. For those of you still watching? Hope is Mady...and Claire is Alexis.

The last two days have been surreal. I asked Garry, "Have we fallen into some strange parallel universe? Who are these children?!" They've been cooperating...and sharing...and listening...and saying thank you...either the end is near or the pods have gotten my kids. BUT never fear...today we were back to "normal".

So what am I thankful for? Besides the two day break? That in and of itself was a blessing. Not only for the fact that they were behaving but it gave me a chance to recoup my patience meter, which after running on fumes for a month is now back at full.

I am thankful for the fact that they are both HERE and they are both MINE. No one ever said that parenting was going to be easy...and just because your child is wanted more than you could ever voice, and you waited a lifetime for them, doesn't mean that they aren't going to frustrate the snot out of you now and again! ")

Referrals came out recently...two days worth...people who were logged in through February 17th...2006 finally saw a picture of their baby's face for the very first time. Let me say that again...people who sent their dossiers to China in February of 2006 just received their referral THIS month...November 2008. I am so very grateful not to be riding that roller coaster any longer. Heartiest congrats to the new families...and my prayers are with those still waiting...and there are many.

A week or so ago a man came up to us in Lowe's and asked when our girls came home. We started talking and he told us that his wife has her heart set on two girls from China...but they haven't even started the paperwork yet. What could we say? We gently urged him to look into other countries...telling him that the wait for a baby from China is quickly approaching three years...and that's not including the time it takes to get your dossier together. So yes, I am over the moon that both of my girls are here...right now...under my roof...even if they are raising it!

I am thankful for outlets...outlets like my blog...or my friends...so that I can get these feelings OUT safely and NOT put them onto my children. I am especially grateful to friends who "get it". Thank you Helen for my birthday card which read, "May you find 5 minutes of peace today". ")

I am thankful for every single ounce of energy, patience, and creativity that God has blessed me with. There are so many things I want to share with my girls but I've had to wait not only for them to GET here but also for them to be READY for these things. One of those is The Wizard of Oz. Being a child who had numerous nightmares about those flying monkeys, I wanted to be well sure that Hope was prepared for the deranged, shiny faced, cap wearing...things. For the last two days, once Claire is down for her nap, Hope and I snuggle under a blanket on the couch and watch 20-30 minutes of it. She's doing very well...she's paying attention...she's not talking the entire time...and so far she thinks it's absolutely awesome. Yesterday, while Dorothy was singing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" I was, well, obviously crying. Hope was resting against my chest, and without even looking at me said in a rather exasperated voice, "Mama, are you crying happy tears AGAIN!? Don't do THAT! You'll get my head all wet!"

Another thing that Hope and I are currently sharing is the book, Charlotte's Web. Is there a more perfect piece of children's literature? I can't tell you how long I've waited to have a little girl that I could read that book to. During Christmas vacation we're going to start reading The Little House books...they are mine...I started collecting them when I was in fourth grade.

Another sanity saver for me is music. I don't think I could survive a day without it. I sing...I play the piano...I make up songs for the girls...it is always playing in the background when I need to think...or create...or relax. I'm listening to Christmas carols right now! One night recently I sat down at the piano and started to play a few Christmas songs. I had one girl on either side of me creating their own little "counter melodies". Garry came home to our own version of Mel Torme's "The Christmas Song". His comment? "That's just about the scariest Christmas song I've ever heard." ")

Sarah McLachlan's "Ordinary Miracle" has struck a chord like none other. I find myself repeating bits of it aloud during especially difficult days. But the one that really hits home...that reminds me exactly what is important...and why I'm here...and brings me back to sanity? "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins. Both of these incredible songs can be found at the bottom of the page. Treat yourself to one...or both...enjoy your ordinary miracles...you'll miss them when they're gone.

Be blessed!

No...we don't have our TA yet...and we're not happy about it!

We were told on December 27th that our agency was expecting them the next day. If we didn't hear anything we were to call in two days. Garry called. We were told that CCAA hadn't even started on ours and it would be another week. Call then. Garry called. More excuses...storms...delays...more complicated paperwork...all adds up to still no TA and still no idea as to when we can bring Claire home.

Garry's visa came today! So hey, he's ready...and has 30 days to get in and out of China before we need to buy another one of those. He put January 10th as his date of departure per the agency's instructions. I think we all know he's not going to make that! We've been told that we could leave on January 12th or January 19th. Other folks in the group were told the 11th or the 18th...and now the 25th. The 25th is God's sense of humor times 10. We left to bring Hope home on January 25th, 2004.

THE AGENCY isn't returning phone calls...I found an email in our old account today that we haven't used in over a year from them, apologizing for not returning our call last Thursday. Apparently not returning our call from last Wednesday didn't rate an apology. Again, they've been told numerous times over the last year that we don't use that email address and please update our file...you know the drill.

The email also wanted to let us know that there was no news on TA's yet and that we should be getting our I171H soon as USCIS had sent it out on 12/27. FAX them a copy as soon as we get it. I was as nice as I could be folks...honestly...but I still think my message came off way past snarky. I begged them to once again change our email address. I told them that we've had our I171H since 12/28 and that we notified THE AGENCY on the same day. I won't even go into what I said about the FAX.

I'm done...truly done. It does no good to even try and communicate with them, so I'm done. Sorry Garry but it's all you from here on out. And truthfully, it's been mostly him for quite awhile because I'm just gonna go off on someone.

People whose agencies sent their acceptance letters back weeks after the date we were told ours were sent already have their TA's, consulate appointments, and are leaving as soon as this week. SO! Who knows where this mix-up lies...LIE being the operative word...and yes...I am beyond angry.

I'm going back into drifting in a fog mode...

CORRECTION: In my AGENCY and Paula Zahn inspired ire yesterday I fear I made a mistake concerning Garry's visa. So, with a somewhat clearer head, here is the lowdown on that topic.

Garry's visa is good until June of 2007. He can make two trips to China from now until June and each trip can last up to thirty days.

I felt better for about two seconds after clearing that up then I just got mad again...I hope to God in Heaven that we won't be waiting until June now. : p

Haven't heard about the Paula Zahn thing yet? Well, she had several "experts" on her show last Friday expounding on adopting from China. Basically, I learned that I am only going through this process because it is the "in" thing to do, and I am a racist. (Hey, who wouldn't want to go through this easy, quick, painless process?! International adoption is FUN!!!) It was a simply lovely broadcast. LAST night she had a couple of the panelists back, along with two more who, well, had a clue! It was slightly better but...well...go to the CNN site and read the transcripts.