Deep Thoughts...Not By Jack Handy

“Why are people...in general...no matter WHAT their sexual predisposition soooooo freakin' screwed up? It's like we grab onto SOMEONE and hang on for dear life...doesn't matter if it's good for the one doing the hanging on or the one being held. Gads...is it all just the habit or the routine thing? It becomes a habit...or routine...and we just continue doing it even though it has outlived its usefulness sometimes by years? Fear? Of being alone...of change...of having to look at yourself, who you are...your faults...of facing whatever it is that made you this way in the first place?”

Yeah...those are mine...

Mel...All My Best...Tracks 1 and 2

I can sing.  Yes, that's one thing I've always believed I can do.  I've got a decent voice...untrained...but decent.  I've even been paid to sing...more than once...so obviously someone else thinks I'm ok at it too.

As I've been going through a lot of my old...and new tunes...I've stumbled across some that I would love to record.  You know...a cover CD  "Mel Sings The Hits...Of Other People".  This is going to be an ongoing project.  I'm not putting them in any specific order as to which ones are the most significant to me or anything like that.  The criteria I am using are fairly simple...I love the song...it has meaning for me...and it suits my voice.  There are a lot of songs that meet the first two conditions but if I don't think I can do it justice I won't put it on my CD.  ; )  Like anything by Martina McBride...she's got some phenomenal songs...at least four I'd love to take a shot at...but that little girl sings from her gut...nobody can belt one out like she can... I'm not even going to try.  ; )  So here goes:

I actually did record myself singing this song in the late 90's...just messing around with the settings on my computer one afternoon.

Track One
I'm Making Believe by Ella Fitzgerald and The Ink Spots
Songwriters: Gordon Mack; James V. Monaco

I'm making believe that you're in my arms
Though I know you're so far away.
Making believe, I'm talking to you,
Wish you could hear what I say.

And here in the gloom, of my lonely room,
We're dancing like we used to do.
Making believe, is just another way of dreaming,
So 'til my dreams come true.

I'll whisper goodnight,
Turn out the light and kiss my pillow,
Making believe its you.

This song has been done so many times by so many incredible voices. I've actually combined two of my favorites here. The lyrics listed are those used by Miss Billie Holiday...what a presence. The video version is Ella's...I am a purist. This is the version with the full orchestra...I prefer just Ella and the piano.  ; )

Track Two
But Not For Me by Ella Fitzgerald
Songwriter:  George Gershwin

They're writing songs of love, but not for me.
A lucky star's above, but not for me.
With love to lead the way
I've found more clouds of grey
Than any Russain play could guarantee.
I was a fool to fall and get that way;
Heigh-ho! Alas! And also, lack-a-day!
Although I can't dismiss the mem'ry of his kiss, I guess he's not for me.

He's knocking on a door, but not for me.
He'll plan a two by four, but not for me.
I know that love's a game;
I'm puzzled, just the same,
Was I the moth or flame?
I'm all at sea.

It all began so well, but what an end!
This is the time a feller needs a friend,
When ev'ry happy plot ends with the marriage knot,
And there's no knot for me.

Your Future

"You can't run away from your future. You have to run to it...no matter how far it is." ~ Allison Dubois on Medium

A-freakin-men

This one? This just may be my next tattoo...or at least my next bracelet.

"It's life Mike...things happen."
A.D.A. Connie Rubirosa on Law & Order

Variation On A Theme

The last couple of weeks have been Quote Heaven for me...I need to buy a new notebook.

"You can't always get what you want. If you did, your life would have no story." W.G. Griffiths

This Just In...

I heard this one just two minutes ago...spoken by Patricia Arquette...as Allison Dubois on Medium:

"Live your life like it matters."

I needed this one today like you wouldn't believe...

Fearless

I overheard this little jewel while watching a recent episode of The Tudors. I happened to be holding my laptop at the time and added it to my list of must haves immediately.

"People are good when they’re afraid. When they’re not afraid they can be anything. I will never be afraid."

Never EVER Go Back

"If you don't go after what you want, you'll never get it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place."

The title is mine...the anonymous quote belongs to someone else...I can't really say it any better than that.

Now get out there and start LIVING!!!!! ")

Then You Stand

Last weekend I was in the Jeep, headed to Kohl's for a little retail therapy. I was flipping through the radio stations trying to find something that wasn't a commercial...or a basketball game...or politics...or news. I stopped on a country station. The song had already started. I'd never heard it before, but I knew who it was. I've been listening to so much of their music lately...yep...it was Rascal Flatts.

I came to a stop at a red light and what I heard literally made me gasp.

For the last couple of years I've had several seemingly small incidents occur in my life...small to other people...major for me. After each of these occured I've said the same thing, "Another missing piece of the puzzle that is Mel has been dropped into place...another gaping, empty spot has been filled."

Ok, back to the red light...remember...I've never heard this song before...the bridge began:

"Everytime you get up and get back in the race
One more small piece..."

I was crying so hard I was physically shaking...and I was also able to finish the line:

"...of you seems to fall into place."

The song is called "Stand" and it has been playing non-stop in my head since then. It has given me more strength, more drive, more determination than I've had in a long time.

Stand
Rascal Flatts
Songwriters: Eric Blair Daly, Dan Earnest Orton

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand

Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand

Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand

Give it a listen...you'll be glad you did! ")

"Stand" can be found on the playlist at the bottom of this page.

The Word Freak...Freaks Out

So if you happened to stumble in here without having a clue...I've had a thing for Rick Springfield since I was eleven years old. It has grown and changed over the years...I've written about it many times both publicly and privately. His words have helped me through more shit than I can ever even begin to recount.

I remember being in college, (at least 28 years ago) sitting on the front porch of my parents' house, jotting down things I wanted to accomplish in my life in a spiral notebook. At the top of that list? I wanted to sit down and talk with Rick Springfield...ask him where all of the pain was coming from...why he felt the need to bleed so profusely through his music.

I recently discovered that I won't have to wait much longer for the answers to my questions. Rick's memoir, "Late, Late At Night" will be arriving at a bookstore near you...and me...in October of this year. To say that I'm elated is one mother of an understatement.

Here are a few of Rick's words taken from http://www.latelateatnight.com/:

“Many of the things I have had to face in my life are universal issues; my lifelong battle with depression, fear of failure, self doubt and my journey to overcome these,” commented Mr. Springfield. “There have been ups and downs in my life, and reaching the milestone of my 60th birthday made me want to tell my story finally and honestly. I seized the opportunity to tell my story in my own words, so those who may be going through similar things in their lives, can take my experiences, grow from them and hopefully have a good laugh along the way.”

If Rick has battled the same damn demons that I've been dealing with for years, then by God I want to know every detail.

Well...as Mick Jagger has told me so many times in the last few months:

"No, you can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need"

"You Can't Always Get What You Want" can be found on the playlist at the bottom of this page.

That Would Be Me

Here's one of those snippets of brilliance from an email I wrote this week.

I was catching up with a friend from college that I haven't seen, talked to, or corresponded with in ages. He was whining about being old...but then he's whined to me about being old virtually from the first moment we met in...1980? Did I mention he's a grandfather now? ; p

I summed up my current mood fairly succinctly:

"Going through menopause, having two kids under the age of 8, and always leading with one’s heart are a deadly, DEADLY combination."---Mel

Kleenex...I really need to buy stock in Kleenex...

Sad Songs

Well...I started this post a couple of days ago fully intending it to go one way and as life/God/Karma/the universe does, I was shown something better.


So I just finished reading a book by Harlan Coben called "Hold Tight"...which by the way was a darn fine read. He used several characters from a previous novel of his called "Into The Woods" again in this book. Paul Copeland (or Cope as he is called) the Essex County prosecutor, Loren Muse his chief investigator, and Lucy, Cope's fiancee. In the previous book we learned that Lucy loves to sit in the dark, drink vodka, and listen to sad songs. In this novel Cope is talking to Muse, telling her that he used to wonder why Lucy liked those songs so much...especially now...when she's happy, in love, everything is working out...yet she still likes to listen to these sad songs.

[Muse says,] "You're asking me? [{I like her.}]

"No Muse. I'm explaining something to you. I didn't understand for a long time. But now I do. The sad songs are a safe hurt. It's a diversion. It's controlled. And maybe it helps you imagine that real pain will be like that. But it's not. Lucy knows that of course. You can't prepare for real pain. You just have to let it rip you apart."---Harlan Coben "Hold Tight"

He goes on to mention several songs, not by name, but just a snippet of lyric or the name of an artist. Well...you know me and snippets. I had to go searching after one of them and listen to it. The lyrics aren't bad...but it isn't anything I would ever choose to listen to. It's by Missy Higgins and it's called "Where I Stood". The bit that tugs at my heart:

"'Cause I don't know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cause she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood"

Now...sad songs? Well...I don't enjoy sitting in the dark and drinking and listening to sad songs. There's enough common sense still left in me to know that when I'm feeling down and enjoy listening to tearjerkers, I do not need to add alcohol to the mix. I enjoy music that makes me FEEL...and yes...that can mean sadness at times.

Today, I was pushing Claire in the cart at the grocery store when a song came over the sound system. I had heard it only once before...and it had the same effect on me this time as it did that first time. I started crying. I stood there...staring at peanut butter or cereal or fruit snacks...it all looks the same through tears. I stood there until it was finished. I wrote down some of the lyrics and as soon as I got home I looked it up, and downloaded it. Every lyric is poetry...the voices are pure...the music is perfect...my tears are controlled. And maybe...just maybe...it's one of those that help me imagine that real pain is like that.

Need You Now
Lady Antebellum
Songwriters: Dave Haywood, Josh Kear, Charles Kelley, Hillary Scott

Picture perfect memories
Scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone,
'Cause I can't fight it anymore.

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.

It's a quarter after one.
I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control
And I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without,
I just need you now.

Another shot of whiskey,
Can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you come sweeping in the way you did before.

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.

It's a quarter after one.
I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control
And I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without,
I just need you now.

Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.

It's a quarter after one.
I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call,
But I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without,
I just need you now.
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now.

Until next time,

"Need You Now" and "Where I Stood" can both be found on the playlist at the bottom of the page.

The Word Freak

Yeah...I don't have enough things competing for my time...I couldn't help myself.  Drop by should you feel so inclined.

The Word Freak

Mel...As Sung By Meat Loaf

I was never a fan of Meat Loaf...or his music...ever...until he began his acting career. Something about him pulled me in...I liked the guy. After watching him hang with Grant and J. and chase ghosts last season on Ghost Hunters I decided I really liked him.


About a month ago I heard one of his songs on the radio. "Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad" quickly took up residence in my head and my MP3 player. Granted, the entire song is a pretty awesome piece...but the part that got to me...that still gets to me...that is me...is:

"I can't lie
I can't tell you that I'm something I'm not
No matter how I try
I'll never be able
To give you something
Something that I just haven't got" ---Jim Steinman

I find that to be a fitting companion piece to:
"Take me as I am...love me or hate me...just don't give me crap for being Mel." ---Mel

And that my friends...is who I am...and where I'm at...at this point in my journey.

"Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad" can be found on the playlist at the bottom of the page.

Losing A Dream

We all have dreams...and when we lose them, for whatever reason, it hurts. I'd like to be able to present you with a quote that offers comfort...some sage advice to make you feel better...to make me feel better while confronting the loss of a dream. But honestly? This one just says it all...


"You know, the thing that makes a fantasy great is the possibility that it might come true. And when you lose that possibility - it just kind of sucks."---Catherine Willows from CSI