So I just finished reading a book by Harlan Coben called "Hold Tight"...which by the way was a darn fine read. He used several characters from a previous novel of his called "Into The Woods" again in this book. Paul Copeland (or Cope as he is called) the Essex County prosecutor, Loren Muse his chief investigator, and Lucy, Cope's fiancee. In the previous book we learned that Lucy loves to sit in the dark, drink vodka, and listen to sad songs. In this novel Cope is talking to Muse, telling her that he used to wonder why Lucy liked those songs so much...especially now...when she's happy, in love, everything is working out...yet she still likes to listen to these sad songs.
[Muse says,] "You're asking me? [{I like her.}]
"No Muse. I'm explaining something to you. I didn't understand for a long time. But now I do. The sad songs are a safe hurt. It's a diversion. It's controlled. And maybe it helps you imagine that real pain will be like that. But it's not. Lucy knows that of course. You can't prepare for real pain. You just have to let it rip you apart."---Harlan Coben "Hold Tight"
He goes on to mention several songs, not by name, but just a snippet of lyric or the name of an artist. Well...you know me and snippets. I had to go searching after one of them and listen to it. The lyrics aren't bad...but it isn't anything I would ever choose to listen to. It's by Missy Higgins and it's called "Where I Stood". The bit that tugs at my heart:
"'Cause I don't know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cause she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood"
Now...sad songs? Well...I don't enjoy sitting in the dark and drinking and listening to sad songs. There's enough common sense still left in me to know that when I'm feeling down and enjoy listening to tearjerkers, I do not need to add alcohol to the mix. I enjoy music that makes me FEEL...and yes...that can mean sadness at times.
Today, I was pushing Claire in the cart at the grocery store when a song came over the sound system. I had heard it only once before...and it had the same effect on me this time as it did that first time. I started crying. I stood there...staring at peanut butter or cereal or fruit snacks...it all looks the same through tears. I stood there until it was finished. I wrote down some of the lyrics and as soon as I got home I looked it up, and downloaded it. Every lyric is poetry...the voices are pure...the music is perfect...my tears are controlled. And maybe...just maybe...it's one of those that help me imagine that real pain is like that.
Need You Now
Lady Antebellum
Songwriters: Dave Haywood, Josh Kear, Charles Kelley, Hillary Scott
Picture perfect memories
Scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone,
'Cause I can't fight it anymore.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
It's a quarter after one.
I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control
And I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without,
I just need you now.
Another shot of whiskey,
Can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you come sweeping in the way you did before.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
It's a quarter after one.
I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control
And I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without,
I just need you now.
Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
It's a quarter after one.
I'm all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn't call,
But I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without,
I just need you now.
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now.
Until next time,
"Need You Now" and "Where I Stood" can both be found on the playlist at the bottom of the page.
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