So I guess you can see by the graphic that Hope's first two days went VERY well. ") I can't say that I was really surprised. She's loved school from the first morning we left her at Sunday School. The fact that she *now* gets to ride the school bus? Well...let's just say that's the icing on the cake.

The entire family walked her out to the bus stop last week after the usual round of "First Day Of School" photo ops. Daddy had the video camera on hand as well. Possibly the coolest part of the whole morning...for me anyway...was the fact that ALL of the children at the bus stop, including Claire, had Asian eyes. I don't know if Hope even noticed or not, or took any comfort from it, but I know her Mama sure did.

We had been told that the bus would more than likely be late the first couple of weeks. It was only about ten minutes late that first morning...not that I would've noticed...remember...I didn't want her to go! ") It was such a gray and cool and rainy morning...but Hope was all smiles...she was going to KINDERGARTEN! (The day before I heard her telling Claire, "Now tomorrow morning you can play with the Little People because I'm not going to be here. I'll probably be at Kindergarten.") Sooo...the bus pulled up and she was off like a shot before it even stopped. We didn't get a hug or a kiss or even so much as a wave good-bye! Her bus driver seemed extremely nice. She helped Hope up the stairs, turned her around, and told her to smile at me so I could take her picture. After showing Hope where to sit (in one of the three seats right behind her!), the door closed and the bus roared away with my baby inside. THAT'S when I cried...not a lot...because the bus stopped abruptly about two houses away for no apparent reason and put its hazard lights on. Did I freak? Only a little...I didn't run screaming down the street after it...nor was Garry restraining me from doing so! Whatever the problem may have been was quickly taken care of and their route resumed. Speaking of their route, it is set up in such a way that anywhere from 3-5 minutes after the bus picks up the kids at the bus stop it goes past our house again. So Garry, Claire and I walked home and waited in front of the garage to wave at Hope when she went by. We waved...I don't know if she did or not...we couldn't see her!

Claire was not at all happy that "Hopa" wasn't home. Once she stopped clinging to me and whining all I heard about for the rest of the morning was, "Hopa school!" or "Hopa bus!" or "Hopa HOME!" Finally it was time to go outside and wait for the bus to drop "Hopa" off. Again, we had been reminded that the Kindergarten bus...the one bringing them home in the afternoon...would probably be VERY late...so it wasn't like we weren't prepared. I was still out there ten minutes before she normally would've been due home! I called Garry at work so he could "wait" with us. We waited...and waited...and waited...and waited some more. I kept handing Claire books and toys but after a good half an hour she had had more than enough. Every vehicle that went by...be it car, truck, van, SUV, bicycle, or airplane..."HOPA!!!! HOME!!!" About forty minutes after the time she is supposed to be home the bus pulled up in front of our driveway. Another wonderful woman helped her down from the bus and walked her across the street. My joy was only slightly less than when Mme. Xu handed her to me for the first time back in Hefei. I gave her the phone and the first thing she said was, "Daddy! I LOVE Kindergarten!" Then of course the usual...her favorite thing is recess...and are you ready? She told us that she chose to sit at a table with three boys. ::sigh:: Garry thinks "it's" starting already. Me? I think she's going to be just like her Mama and will have more guy friends than girls. Whatever...it doesn't matter...she was safe home, she was happy, and she couldn't wait to go back the next day.

Now...when we got in the house and she was changing into her play clothes? *THAT'S* when Mama broke down and lost it. She looked at me with this "wise beyond her years" expression...put her hands on her hips and said, "Mama? Are those *happy* tears?" Yes baby...they are.

The next day she was up and ready to go! She told me that it's ok if I want to stand with her at the bus stop until she's ready for first grade. ; ) Again, she was ready to jump on the bus as soon as it pulled up. On the bus' second pass? It was the cutest thing I've ever seen. There was Hope's precious little face, pressed up against the window, grinning from ear to ear, and waving her arm off until the bus disappeared up the street. My kid is AWESOME!

Wow...just to be READ by David is an honor...but to be mentioned as a contender for his Post of the Day? I am truly humbled! Many thanks David

First of all, no more apologizing for not posting as often as I would like. I found a WONDERFUL little philosophy today called "Blogging Without Obligation". You should really check it out. The guilt and stress that have been hanging around me concerning Our Journey Continues...and the thoughts of possibly just deleting it...have lifted.

Secondly, as most mothers experience with their firstborn, I am having a tough time dealing with the fact that Hope will be starting school in less than two weeks. Yes, she's done two years of preschool, but THIS is different. Just ask her. THIS is BIG KID SCHOOL.

This is where I have to walk my precious angel to that giant child eating yellow monster each and every morning and watch it devour her and then race off...with her inside...where I can't see her...or hear her...or smell her...or touch her. This child of mine...who I waited and trusted God for...for 41 years. This child that I had to jump through enough hoops to satisfy The U.S. Government...The State of Ohio...and The People's Republic of China. This child that was handed over and entrusted to MY care and now I'm just supposed to let her go.

My issues have issues where school is concerned. They've been in there festering since I was just a little older than Hope. So what did I do? Yeah, I became a teacher. What an ironic moron I am. And seriously? The next person that tells me that this is a HAPPY occasion? It's not going to be pretty. Ok? As I told a friend of mine several months ago, "This is NOT a happy occasion. This is sending my baby into a pool of sharks and I'm not there with a baseball bat to protect her."

I guess I'm doing a pretty good job of hiding it from Hopie though. She's thrilled beyond belief that she has SCHOOL SUPPLIES and we went BACK TO SCHOOL SHOPPING and she gets to RIDE THE BUS. ::sigh:: She's basically doing the Snoopy Dance and can't wait to skip down the halls. God bless her. She LOVED Safety Town and I was beyond thrilled that they loaded all the kids on a school bus and took them for a ride. It did a lot to ease my fears for her first day...and I know she was apprehensive about it as well. Her mouth goes non-stop when she's worried about something...even though she NEVER says anything about what she's worried about. The last few weeks have been non-stop Ariel and all things The Little Mermaid. It's how she deals. She's going to be fine...she's going to be fine...she's going to be fine...

So I play headgames with myself. Once she gets on the bus I can go for a walk with Claire. There is just something so calming to me about taking a walk...especially in the fall. I LOVED doing it with Hope...now I'll have a chance to share it with Claire. I tell myself, "she's only going to be gone for the morning...she'll be home in time for lunch." I imagine I'll be outside waiting for the bus long before it's due. And yes, I know millions of other mothers have gone through this and will continue to go through this...and they've all survived. As you may have guessed or learned for yourself...I ain't one of those Mama's.

As God tends to do...whether I want Him to or not...because He knows I'd rather just sit and worry and sulk...He sent me an incredible gift today. After I had finished reading Claire her story before nap she jabbed her little finger into my chest. This isn't new. She does this when she wants me to sing to her. It started when Garry would hold her and say, "YOU sing!" and put his finger to her chest. But today, she jabbed me and said something so unbelievable that I had to ask her to repeat it...mostly because she NEVER says anything when she does that...but also because I couldn't believe what she said and how clearly it came out. She said, "Bay My". For those of you who don't speak Claire that is "Baby Mine". That is the song that I chose for her lullaby long before she was even born...the song I recorded for Garry to play to her when I couldn't be with her in China...the song that I sang to her in the airport when she didn't know me from Adam...the song that as soon as she heard me sing it, turned her little head my way, reached out and touched my face...the song that when she now hears it on any CD will say, "Mama sing?" So yeah...that was a gift...and maybe...just maybe...it's going to be ok.

Care to listen to Baby Mine? Allison Krauss' version can be heard on the music player at the bottom of the page.