Six Months Again? Already?

Well...I guess it wouldn't be Breast Cancer Awareness Month without my body jumping on the bandwagon now would it?

One mammogram, one breast MRI, one ultrasound, and one surgeon's appointment later...I need another MRI guided biopsy. Whatever was found on the MRI in October of 2009 is now significantly larger. Yes, it's still tiny, but the thought of something totally foreign, growing unchecked inside my breast and described as being "significantly larger" tends to bother me. After the MRI I had to have an ultrasound to see if the mass could be located. Nope...it can't be detected via ultrasound. You just know what kind of day it's going to be when you're waiting for the ultrasound tech to show up, look over at the screen and see your name alongside the words "Type: Breast ~ Category: Small Parts". ::sigh::

I knew something was up when the tech returned and told me the radiologist wanted to talk to me. I've never been escorted to the inner sanctum before. He was a nice guy...firm handshake...spoke to me in plain English...remained positive yet honest. He basically told me they can't find it...I've had one test too many...they were recommending an MRI guided biopsy and throwing it back to my surgeon. It would be up to the two of us to decide if we went any farther. As I was leaving he yelled, "Keep the faith kid!" I've been holding onto that for the last few weeks. That meant something.

My surgeon isn't any happier about this than I am. But as she always says, "If we wait...and it is something...nope...you've got two little girls depending on you. We're not going to mess around." Sooo...back to the...ummm..."person" who does these procedures. He, apparently is the only human in this area and I'm stuck with him...again. And as with the other times I've had a procedure scheduled with him, shortly after it is confirmed, he decides to go on vacation and it has to be rescheduled. Hey, put my life on hold again! I freakin' LOVE it!

The procedure was scheduled for yesterday...and the day after it was scheduled I got the call saying we'd have to push it back, he was going on vacation. I made two calls after that...one to The Spousal Unit, and one to Amy at my surgeon's office. Both of them thought I was kidding. It took me almost five solid minutes to convince Amy I wasn't joking around. But you have to laugh right? Because the alternative just isn't acceptable! So...something that was sooo important, that was recommended by two different physicians, that was scheduled for less than a week away from seeing my surgeon...has now been pushed back to mid-November. Ain't nobody happy...save for the guy on vacation. I'll spare you the cute little name I have for him...oh the hell I will. I've dubbed him The Emperor Ass Hat. If you'd like to read about my other exploits with him check out this post.

Now...as God has pointed out sooo many times in my life...and seems to really enjoy doing as of late...He has shown me that this timing thing of His can also be a blessing. Remember how He told me earlier this year to "wait"? And the only concrete thing He's given me is, "Can you wait three years?" Remember how I'm SICK TO DEATH of waiting? Read on...

The other night I was sitting on Claire’s bed. She was fixing my hair. It felt so good…and she was just jabbering away about what she was going to do next and I had this…body memory…of just aching for her. Not knowing where she was…if she was being well taken care of…if she was even born yet. Wondering if I would ever have a chance to hold her…remembering getting in the shower each and every night and saying to myself, “One day closer to Claire.” He said something to the effect of, “See what I can do?” And then my heart damn near stopped when I realized that the whole process for Claire took close to…three years.

Ok…the whole Emperor Ass Hat rescheduling thing? As much as I hate to admit it, that has turned into a blessing as well. I was sick as a dog last weekend…didn’t even get out of bed Sunday. I’m still not 100% but I’m not flat on my back anymore either. Wednesday afternoon I got a call from Hope's school...she had been coughing so hard she threw up. Two weeks ago we received word that there were several confirmed cases of whooping cough in the system and one of the signs was, yeah...you guessed it. Scared me senseless…bless her heart. I picked her up, brought her home, cleaned her up and then we went straight to the doctor. No whooping cough...but she does have strep. I've never been so thrilled to hear a diagnosis of strep before in my life. She’s been home for the last couple of days. If the biopsy hadn't been rescheduled? I would've been at the hospital yesterday…with nobody to take care of her. He pointed that out to me last night as well…not in a snotty way…because let’s face it, if He had, I would’ve completely shut down. So…I get it…I do. Three years…still don’t like it…still don’t want to do it…still don’t know what I’m waiting for…but I’ll try my best.

The way it's scheduled now I'll get to enjoy my birthday and the good Lord willing I should be up and around for Thanksgiving as well.

Another thing that was bothering me was I had decided for the first time in probably fifteen years, to dress up for Halloween. I had the best time putting together my costume...and then the biopsy was scheduled for, you guessed it, the day our little town has Trick or Treat. So there's another plus for the new date, eh? I got to enjoy Trick or Treat with my girls and show off World's Coolest Pair of Shoes...EVER!

Still fighting...still smiling...still being Mel!

Allow me to introduce you to our newest family member. This is Wally!

I first spoke of Wally in early June. I also told you that he had his own story. Read on if you care to!

I always knew I would have another kitty after Humphrey passed. As angry as I was at God, I knew He would bring another furry soul into my life. Remember? TRUST ME.

I had decided that we would give Wendy at Kitten Krazy a call at the end of June...and I was checking the website at least once a day looking at precious little faces. Yeah, well, you know what they say about best laid plans. Suddenly I had surgery scheduled for the end of June. So, I decided the end of July. Oh...I am so funny! It appears I still haven't caught on that my timing and God's timing aren't anywhere near being in synch.

Garry took Gus for a routine vet visit and came home with a message for me from Dr. Arends. Apparently she said, "You have to PROMISE to tell Melissa. I have a cat for you." Garry said, "I don't want a cat." She said, "I know. But tell Melissa." He said, "What's wrong with it?" She said, "Absolutely nothing. That's why I'm telling you about him. You guys need a break. I've already called and talked to the foster home. He's yours if you want him." As he is relaying this information to me I ask, "What color is he?" When he said black and white I started crying. I couldn't deal with another black kitty so soon...even though Hope had told me right after Humphrey passed that our next kitty would be black. I continued asking questions through the tears and found out that he had been found in a Wal-Mart parking lot about a year ago. He was rescued by Save Ohio Strays, named Wally, and put into foster care. Dr. Arends said she had kept him for awhile until a foster home opened up. I immediately went online and located his picture on the Save Ohio Strays website. I didn't get any feelings other than I was glad to see that he seemed to be EQUAL parts black and white.

The next couple of days I'd keep checking to see if he was still available and that silly face started growing on me. Garry called and made an appointment for us to meet him on a Sunday. I filled out the adoption application online...which by the way was only SLIGHTLY less involved than what we did for our girls! LOL I started to talk about him to Hope who immediately started calling him Sam because, and I quote, "MY favorite store is Sam's Club." So we called him Sam.

Sunday arrived and the family piled into the car to go and meet Wally...errr...Sam. When we got to the nice lady's home she welcomed us into her living room. Wally was in a large cage in the center of the room. Garry and the girls sat on the couch...I sat on the floor in front of the cage. I believe the nice lady's name was Teri. She opened the cage and Wally shot out. He went behind the couch, did a slow lap around the room, came up behind me, and laid down against my back. Yeah...I started crying. He rubbed up against me, let me pet him, and purred up a storm. He really didn't want much to do with Garry and the girls but what do you expect? Hope was dying to touch him and Claire was leaping around like a jumping bean! In case you haven't already figured it out, we brought him home! On the drive home Garry and I decided that he really "looked" like a Wally and tried to persuade Hope of the same. She came around, but only if his middle name was Sam. Thus was born Wally Sam!

If you haven't seen God's Hand in this yet, read on. When Horatio passed I told Garry that when I was ready for another cat I was going to ask Dr. Arends for assistance in choosing one. I trust her...yes I TRUST her. I never said anything to her...nor did he. He stopped into the clinic one afternoon for some food and as he was talking with her she said, "I'm scared to death Melissa is going to ask me to help her choose a cat. I don't want to! There just aren't any guarantees!" So when he came home in June and said SHE had a cat for me? Well, enough said.

Still need convincing? He and Gus get along so well it is scary. They eat together, play together, wash each other, and sleep on me in the bed together. I've NEVER had two cats get along as well as they do...and so quickly. It was literally a matter of DAYS.




And in case you are wondering...Wally is VERY much like Humphrey. He has MANY behaviors that were unique to Humphrey and whenever he demonstrates them, no matter how frustrated I may be, it is like receiving a hug from Heaven. He also has his own personality as well. We've decided that Wally is really an all white cat and that his black parts are from Humphrey. He is yet another precious gift from God to our family...and yes...he likes the girls too.

God's blessings to you! ")

P.S. If you've been wondering where I've been lately...I'm hanging out at facebook.com! Yep, I'm helping to show all those youngsters that folks over 40 can have a "social network" too! Come and visit...look me up! ")

It's a girl!

No pictures yet...they just got back to the hotel. Zhou promised to post some at Zhou's Kids and also email me some. Garry will also email his when he is able. Believe me, NO ONE wants to see her any more than *I* do!

Right now she's smiling at her Daddy and keeps pushing her foot through the crib slats.

I'll try to recount what he just told me...but my mind is swimming...and it's early!

Everything went off right on schedule and they received their babies at 4:30 p.m....which was 3:30 a.m. for us...and God saw to it to wake me up at exactly 3:31 this morning. No big...I actually thanked Him for it. Somehow it made me feel included.

She smiled at him immediately and there were no tears! The director was either unable or not willing to answer many questions so we have basically no information about her time at the orphanage other than what is in her official report. They also would not take the disposable cameras that the parents had purchased. We were told that they would take those back to the orphanage and fill them with photos of the rooms, caretakers etc. and then send them to the families when they were in Guangzhou. (The trip to and from the orphanage is anywhere from 6-8 hours long each way and that would be too stressful for the babies to make yet again. So no orphanage visit this trip.) Zhou said he got the director to agree to take pictures of certain areas and of the caretakers and send them to him which he will share with the families.

She has Billy Idol hair...think style not color! She is tiny, the updated measurements we were given were padded...but we already suspected that! Two bottom teeth just like Hope when she joined us...and she loves to suck her fist! She's trying to roll over (Hope did for the first time in Guangzhou) and she's unable to sit by herself. She's got a snotty nose and a pretty decent cough...which I heard! She also has some red spots on her back that Garry is going to have checked out first thing in THEIR morning.

She was gurgling and cooing over the phone...he said that the new sleeper we bought for her fits her perfectly. We guessed right at 6-9 months...same size Hope wore!

Ohhhhh...I don't know how to describe how I'm feeling! It's the strangest combination of joy and sadness. I want to see the crooked little smile that her Daddy was describing to me...and I really want to see her roll her tongue and blow raspberries!

I have tabs currently open to Zhou's Kids, Kristian's blog, and Kristian's photo account...nothing yet.

She had gone to sleep about half way into our phone call...bless her heart. Garry kept calling her "Hopie 2" because she kept sticking her feet out of the crib...just like her sister.

For those of you following the story of the missing purse that Kristian had in her blog...

One of the new parents brought her sister with her. The sister left her purse on the airplane and didn't realize it until they were on the bus to the hotel in Chongqing. Zhou stopped the bus, made some phone calls, both sisters and Zhou's assistant got off the bus and went back to the airport to search the plane themselves.

The purse was never found and it contained cash, credit cards, and passport. When the sisters arrived back at the hotel at 1 a.m. they reported that the airport police have issued a reward for the return of the passport...and I believe the cards...sorry...mind is fuzzy! In the meantime, her husband is back home busily cancelling her cards. She and Zhou's assistant take off in the morning for a four hour train ride so she can apply for a visa as basically, it appears she is now in the country illegally.

Please pray for these gals...as if the whole trip isn't stressful enough.

All right folks...still no pictures to be seen and I've got to wake my oldest daughter! I'll post them whenever they arrive!!!

And now...for the disorganized ramblings of a waiting parent...

We were on cloud nine here at The Family Homestead last week for a couple of days. The rumor was that CCAA was working hard to catch up and make the wait for referral 12 months. The next batch of referrals were to contain the rest of July 2005 and all of August 2005. We were GIDDY I tell you! I mean, even with the LID mess, that would've meant that we would receive our Claire's picture and information in either that batch or the very next one.

HA! So much for giddy! Referrals came out last week...on a good note, EARLIER than everyone had expected. On a silly ridiculous note, they only included seven working days worth of matches. No "official" cut-off date has been published however, it seems that in the last 3-4 weeks they've only moved from July 13, 2005-July 22, 2005. Want to hear something insane? I laughed. Yes...laughed. I mean, how much more proof do I need that God is orchestrating this whole thing? SEVEN DAYS? HILARIOUS! I get it...I really do...Claire isn't ready yet...but could you just hurry her up a little bit? ; )

Sadness sets in when I think about when the referral might come. Yes, I still hold out hope that they are going to catch up. However, if we don't receive our referral by mid-October at the latest, there is very little chance of having her here with us for Christmas. We have a little porcelain ornament from last Christmas which I have hanging on our fridge. It says, "Waiting For Claire 2005". I think I'm going to have to pull out one of my pigma pens and add 2006 as well.

We were refingerprinted on August 10th. We received our updated I 171-H (The Holy Grail of All International Adoption Documents) on the 19th! Seriously...I almost passed out. That turnaround is UNHEARD of! Now, if we could just get the CCAA moving! ")

Because...our I 171-H expires in mid-December. If we aren't back in the US with Claire by then, we have to spend more money, update paperwork, file more forms, visit our social worker...you get the idea.

Hope starts preschool next month. With the added stress of the extended wait for Claire, and trying to be upbeat about being separated from my OTHER baby I have, well, extended MY weight. Eating everything that doesn't eat me first doesn't seem to be the healthiest coping mechanism OR a good example for my girls. SO! I've been busy doing extra workouts, skipping dessert, and limiting portions. I'm doing very well, no eating disorder danger signs. I'm down three pounds and I plan to lose seven more before preschool starts. Again, nothing drastic. It was just very depressing that I couldn't fit into some of the shorts I had gotten at the beginning of THIS summer.

I finished the text for Hope's lifebook and we have been working on putting it together all this week. She's really enjoying playing with the pictures and stickers. I'm really enjoying seeing it come together. It is turning into a real work of art...but more importantly, it is going to be an invaluable tool for her AND us as she deals with where she came from.

Garry and Hope put up Claire's crib last weekend. I've yet to do anything other than clean it. I'll get busy this week...I promise! :)

Y'all take care...

UPDATE...NESTING

Claire's wallpaper is finished...and beautiful. Bridget was scheduled to come in and hang it the day after we received the first "happy" letter from EAC. I was such a mess I almost called her and cancelled. I was afraid it would be too painful. But, I did what I have been working VERY hard at lately...I did what I knew was right even though I didn't FEEL it. I'm so glad I did. The room is absolutely gorgeous. A big THANK YOU to Bridget and Cheyenne. You are the best! My apologies to everyone that was here for Hope's birthday party the very next day...I had every intention of showing off Claire's new room but my mind was elsewhere!

Garry went to Hartville and picked up the rest of Claire's furniture. He and Tom he-manned the changing table/dresser up the stairs a couple of weekends ago. I cleaned it up and hefted it into place. I dug around Garry's office upstairs...which has become our dumping ground...and found the lamp and lampshade we'd bought for her. A couple of days later I covered all of her switch and outlet covers to match her new wallpaper. Last weekend we bought her a little stuffed Dumbo which now sits next to her new lamp. Hope has helped me fill the bottom drawer of the changing table with crib sheets, blankets, etc. And as soon as the weather warms up Garry is going to paint the inside of her closet.

We are going to get through this! Only God knows the big picture...and I prefer it that way!

One final thought...in September of 2004 we signed up to participate in The Asia Threads Project. Run by an adoptive parent, she coordinates projects to various orphanage cities in China. Photographs are taken of the city, the surrounding countryside, the orphanage, and where your child was found. That was one of the only regrets that Garry and I had from our first trip to China. We were unable to see the location where Hope was found. We also were able to send a letter to the director and caretakers of Hope's orphanage as well as lots of pictures of her. Well, the project has been a no go for the longest time as not enough families had signed up...until two weeks ago when our project was sent to China. I simply cannot help but think that God has something wonderful planned with the timing of this.

I'll keep y'all posted!

Hey y'all,

Well, if that last post didn't stop you from coming back, welcome!

I don't want to beat a dead horse, but here's some information that might help everyone understand why we don't know anything and why we don't receive updates.

Again, I'm only able to speak for what *my* agency does...when they send our completed dossier to China it does not go alone. Each month they send at least one group of 6-8 completed dossiers with each dossier belonging to a set of prospective adoptive parents. In most cases these 6-8 families remain in the same group and will receive their babies together. That is one agency...in one city...in one state...in one country. Multiply that by all of the other agencies ALL OVER THE WORLD sending completed dossiers to the same place in China. When the dossiers are received all of the information from each is put into the computer and dated. This is how you receive your Log In Date, or LID. Then, basically, your dossier gets filed while they work on matching all of those other prospective parents with their beautiful Chinese child whose LID's are LONG before your own. So, you see, it's kind of like asking somebody if they've heard anything about their tax refund. The IRS isn't going to call you every couple of weeks and say, "I've gone through all of the returns that I received in January. Yours didn't get here until March. It's sitting under a pile of February returns on my desk."

Other factors that you simply can't put a time limit on fall within the group you were placed in. Each person asked for a certain age/sex child. If there are 7 people in the group then CCAA has to wait until they get to your LID batch, and find an orphanage that has 7 children who match or come close to all 7 of those requests.

The time until referral has indeed slowed. We were told to expect a six month wait. It does not look like that will be met. Those who just received their LID's were told to expect an eight month wait. We were told to expect a twelve month wait for Hope and it was eight. If we have to wait eight months for Claire, or even longer, we will. Again, God knows what He is doing! He knows when Claire will be ready and it could be tomorrow! I don't really think He's on the clock!

The following is an announcement that was posted at the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) website. You can visit anytime to look for updates and see what LID they are currently working on or have finished. I've posted a link under Adoption Information.

Regards to the length of time period during matching process
Date of Post：November 29th, 2005 　　Source：CCAA

Recently, there are many speculations on the waiting time period for adoption process for inter-country adoption coming to China to adopt children. The following will help clarify such concerns:

CCAA highly emphasizes on efficiency, effectiveness and quality, we have put unremitting effort to achieve this. But the length of processing time after adoptive family apply for their application is correlated with the number of inter-country adopting families and the number with the adopting children waiting to be adopted. If the number of adoptive families is higher than the number of children to be adopted, the waiting period will be extended, on the other hand, if the number of children waiting for adoption out numbers the number of adoptive families, then the waiting period will be shortened. Therefore, the waiting period for adoptive families will vary according to this and not due to inefficiency or other controlling factors.

Take care and enjoy your week! ")

Thank you...

God for blessing us with one perfect precious daughter of China and the promise of one more.

Bonnie, Helen, & Holly for not asking us every time you see us if we've heard something new. We so appreciate your "I know if you hear something you'll tell us" attitude.

Everyone who takes the time to check in on the blog and let me know you've done so.

For those, strangers or not, who feel the need to ask us questions or offer comments of a deeply personal nature...it is from these encounters that we are learning GRACE!

1. "Don't you want to have 'one of your own'?" and "Aren't you pregnant...well you look like you are!" I combine these because they came from the same person. Hope is our own...we aren't babysitting or just marking time...she is our very own daughter sent from God Himself. The pregnant comment bothered me immensely...but then I had someone tell me this last week that I looked too thin so I guess it's all in one's perception.
2. "What mix is she?" Thankfully this one was not said to me because I would've said, "German Shepherd and Golden Retriever."
3. "She's just a big toy." I have no smart remark for this one...I'm still working on it.
4. "You're doing such a noble thing saving these children." We are not saving them, they are saving us. Yes, Hope was living in a children's welfare institute. We had a chance to visit this wonderful place and meet the incredible staff members. If she couldn't be with her birth mother, and she couldn't be with me, THAT is exactly where I'd want her to be. I believe it was our neighbor, Theresa, who also has a beautiful daughter of China, who said it best. She said, "Some of us are lucky enough to have our families close-by. However, some of us need to travel a little farther to complete the family God has chosen for us." That's what we are doing dear friends...we are not saving Hope or Claire...they are saving us from a lifetime without their smiles, laughter, tears, and the sound of their little voices saying, "Mama! Daddy!"
5. "How do you know there's not something wrong with her?" My response, "How would we know that there wasn't something wrong with any biological child we might have?"
6. "When are you going to get Claire?" This one, perhaps is the one that strangely bothers me the most. We don't know. There is no way of knowing. We knew 5-6 weeks before we traveled for Hope I can only imagine it will be the same with Claire. We were told we would wait 12 months for a referral with Hope and it was 8. We've been told we will wait 6 months for a referral with Claire. It could be 4...it could be 6...it could be 8...it could me 12 or more. It will be when God knows Claire is ready and not before...hey! I like that answer! Our precious friend Holly said it very well this morning at church when she said, "It must be like being pregnant and being way past your due date." Exactly...we don't know...we appreciate your interest and I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous, but we don't know.
7. Right after that one comes, "Well what's your best guess?" Please see response for previous question.

For the online message boards that are brimming with information. These are truly a double edged sword. I've joined a half a dozen or so all having to do with adopting from China. Quite often I find wonderful tips, information, sources...you name it for just about anything having to do with China, adoption, post adoption issues etc. I recently joined an August DTC group. As you remember we are August 9th DTC (documents to China). Many, many people in the group have started posting their LID's (log in dates). In some ways it is very funny and in just as many ways sad...China has no more rhyme or reason of doing things than does the U.S. government where this process is concerned. I have no idea what our LID is yet as we haven't been notified. We were told it would be somewhere from 10-14 days after our documents were received in China. I am seeing people on this board with DTC dates within 1-2 days on either side of ours who have received their official LID's. Some are 10-14 days after their DTC; some are 3-4 weeks after their DTC; one person's LID was the DAY AFTER her DTC. I'm going to stop reading these boards for awhile, let God do what He does best, and enjoy my life with my family!

Until next time...

I thought that it might be a good idea to post Hope's story first, for those of you who haven't heard or read it yet. It will give you a good background as to how the idea of adoption first came into our lives! The original piece, titled "Our Most Precious Gift", was published in our church newsletter while we were in China. The final two paragraphs were added after we returned home.

~*~

I've heard it said that you never know what God may have in store for you. If I didn't believe it then, I certainly believe it now. This story begins over two years ago, in the summer of 2001...

One bright, sunshiny, summer morning I awoke after having what I considered to be an odd dream. Not odd bizarre, just odd like, “well that was odd”. In this dream, I was a mother to a little Asian girl. Maybe I considered it odd because Garry and I were in our late 30's and about as WASP-ish as you can get! In any case, I couldn't seem to stop thinking about it.

Shortly after having the dream it seemed I was being bombarded daily with images of beautiful little Asian girls. There were articles in the paper about couples adopting from China; a Cleveland weather forecaster adopted a baby girl from China and Channel 5 did a story on her journey; Garry and I would be sitting in the restaurant at Buehler’s when a Caucasian couple would arrive with two little Asian daughters. You get the idea!

I’m sure you all realize that we had never been blessed with children and we had come to a point in our lives where we were truly OK with that. We figured if God wanted us to have kids, He'd find a way...did He ever!

We talked about different ways to bring a child into our lives that summer and fall. When all was said and done, we decided that international adoption was the way to go. We both decided that the end result would be well worth the cost and less risky than going through a million and one hormone treatments with no guarantee of a pregnancy. Unfortunately, adoption within the United States is just about impossible for folks of our age. We could wait from five to nine years for a healthy infant only to lose the child if the child’s birth parents or a member of either of their families decide they want the baby back. And of course there was the Asian thing and the two of us being as far from Asian as we can get! Well, I just kept praying, asking for signs. You know, I wanted to be sure this wasn't something that only I wanted but that God wanted Garry and I to undertake. After all, international adoption isn't exactly easy or cheap.

The last week of November 2001, I was sitting on our living room floor finishing up some last minute items for the E.J. Thomas craft show I was scheduled to do that weekend. Garry had just left for our veterinarians' office to pick up some supplies for our two cats, Garth and Humphrey. While I was sitting there, and I will never forget this as long as I live, I looked towards Heaven and said, “Lord, if this is really what you want me to do you're just going to have to drop it in my lap. I don't even know where to begin.”

A few moments later the phone rang and it was Garry. He was on his way back from the vets' office and he had something special to share with me. He refused to tell me anything about it on the phone so as you can imagine my curiosity had the better of me by the time he walked through the door. The first words out of my mouth were, “Well? What?!”

It seems that our vets, who are a husband and wife team, were happy to see Garry because they had wanted to talk to us. They were leaving for China in a few weeks to pick up their new daughter and they wanted to know if I would help them take care of her. I got chills...I got BIG chills. When I told Garry what I had just prayed for, he got BIG chills.

Long story short, I took care of little Lillian for several months and fell in love with her. We also were able to get information about the agency that facilitated Lillian's adoption. The same month I stopped taking care of Lillian, Garry and I started our paperwork to adopt a daughter of our own from China. I won't kid you, there is a TREMENDOUS amount of paperwork involved and many, many hours spent taking classes, having a home study, having your home inspected, having your background checked, getting fingerprinted etc. China also has one of the longest, if not the longest waiting period...you can pretty much count on waiting at least a year after you finish your paperwork before you have any news of your daughter.

We have waited so long for our precious Hope. Some days I feel as if I can't stand to wait another second...but then God grants me some more patience and reminds me that He started all of this; He knows the perfect moment to place her in our arms. Our “official” date was to be March 2004. During the summer I spoke with the director of the China program at our agency and she told us that they were actually working two months ahead of schedule! Can you believe it?! So our official notification date became January 2004. We, of course, kept praying things would speed up even sooner, (which they did!) but again, all in God's perfect timing!

God has sent many wonderful people and circumstances to encourage us along the way; like the Caucasian family we ran into at The Golden Corral restaurant with two Chinese daughters. The girls were darling in their matching cheerleading uniforms and their mother was more than gracious and very supportive when I told her our story. Or how about when we decided to sell our condo and move into a larger, more child-friendly home? When we went back for a second look at the house we were interested in, the price had just been lowered that day...and the real estate company selling the home bought our condo outright so we didn't have to worry about going through the hassle of selling it.

One of the most startling incidents came from one of our new neighbors. One day last summer she came over to introduce herself and shoved a picture into my hand. In that picture was one of the most adorable little Chinese girls I've ever seen. Yes, they were adopting from China also. They brought their daughter home just before school started this fall. She is a three year old bundle of energy and joy! How awesome God is! Our daughters will be so blessed to be right across the street from each other.

And last, but certainly not least, there is Jennifer. I met this wonderful girl online more years ago than I care to think about. She is one of the most intelligent, creative, and beautiful individuals I have ever had the honor of calling my friend. Jennifer and I don't share similar backgrounds, skin colors, or political views...yet I love her as if she were my sister. I know deep within my heart that God sent her into my life to prove to me that I could love someone who "didn't look like me".

Just when we thought we couldn’t stand to wait a minute longer, on October 30th, two days before our 17th wedding anniversary, we got a call from the agency telling us that our dossier was in referral, which meant we were finally being matched to our daughter! We weren’t supposed to be this far along if you remember, until January of 2004!

The next call came on my 41st birthday; Thursday, November 13th. The good news this time was that our daughter's picture was on its way from China and we would actually be looking at it on Monday. The next three days seemed to drag on endlessly. Early Monday afternoon Chris (our angel at the agency) called and told me that she was looking at our daughter's picture and she was beautiful. She told me her name was Han Tao, her birthday was February 20, 2003, and that she had roly-poly legs. I called Garry as soon as I hung up with Chris. He left work, went directly to the agency, picked up Han Tao's picture and information and came straight home.

So many adoptive parents have told us that they knew the moment they saw their referral picture that that was their child. I'd like to say I had that same feeling but I pretty much went straight into shock! However, within two hours I couldn't look at her beautiful face without crying. She is my baby. She is definitely the one God has chosen to be Garry's and my daughter.

Our Christmas present for 2003 came two days early. Chris called again, this time to tell us that our most treasured daughter would be placed into our arms on January 29, 2004. As you can imagine, life has been a flurry of activity ever since.

As if we hadn't already had enough signs from God that this is exactly what we were supposed to be doing, we received several more:

All of our flights are with United Airlines where my dear father worked for most of his adult life. Dad left us when I was nineteen. I have no doubt he will be watching over us as we are in the air.
Our appointment at the U.S. Embassy in China to secure our daughter's visa and passport is scheduled on my precious grandmother's birthday. Grandma left us when I was only twelve. I can't think of a better guardian angel.

And finally, I was looking at the calendar the other day and Hope was born just two days after we turned in all of our paperwork. Han Tao will now be known as Hope An-Li; An meaning “tranquility” and Li meaning “strength”.

So now, our dear church family, twenty months after we started, we are finally going to hold our most precious gift. I know without a doubt, that moment is going to be well worth the wait.

Peace and joy to you in 2004!

~*~

Two more things that can’t be left out…she never made a single sound when they handed her to me…she just grabbed my finger and looked up at me as if to say, “Well, it sure took you long enough!”

Secondly, three days after she joined our family we were given the opportunity to visit her orphanage. We were presented with several gifts from her orphanage including the clothes her birth mother had placed her in and the note that was left with her. We were also given the blanket she used while she was at the orphanage. Later that night at the hotel while I was showering, Garry was inspecting everything. When I got out of the shower, he was sitting on the bed crying. I asked him what was wrong and he told me to take a look at Hope’s blanket. Before I continue, I have to tell you I was extremely worried about how our two cats were going to take this huge change in their lives. I truly wasn’t worried about her adjusting…just them! He moved out of the way, and there, woven into my most treasured daughter’s blanket, were two kitties; one of them with grey tiger stripes like my Garth, and the other all black, like my Humphrey. Garry said, “Now, no more worrying. Your daughter has been sleeping under this blanket for the last eleven months. I think everything is going to be O.K. once we get home.” He was right. It was.