So! It's that time again!

I want to thank the Man Upstairs again...for letting me hang around for another year to watch my girls grow and change...nag the man I love...and be a pest to those who love me both near and far...year 46...check.

I'm extremely thankful and utterly grateful that I am still in touch with several of my former students...and they don't seem to feel I've ruined their lives! ; ) My Lil' Lis' came to visit me a few months ago...what a gorgeous, intelligent, confident young woman she is. I'm so very proud of her...can you tell? She has bestowed my latest nickname upon me...Mama Bear.

I feel the need to thank Terri yet again...although I've thanked her numerous times...both publicly and privately...but she needs to hear it again. This person...this friend...this Twinkie...who has been a part of my life literally since I was Hope's age was THE only person who believed me. Yes, she believed *in* me and still does. But she was the only human being, albeit a child herself, who believed a scared and bewildered Mel when a lot of other trusted adults should have. She's one strong broad...and she's got one tough Mama of her own...and I love them both.

Yet another blessing in my life is my friend Linda. This woman was the first person to sign my guestbook at Prayer, Praise & Peace many years ago. I wrote her back...and it just grew from there. She has helped me through more crud than I ever want to go through again. It was Linda who led me to my own personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I didn't know such a thing was possible...but she showed me it was...and I am so thankful!

And then there are my cubs. How can I ever begin to tell y'all just how special these two people are to me...and just how quickly they became that special? I don't trust people...I've said it before and I'll say it again...I just don't trust people. Well, ok...every ten years or so I attach to one new online friend. But it hasn't been ten years since the last attachment...and there are two cubs. I call them my cubs because I have come to feel extremely maternal towards both of them. I suppose that technically I *am* old enough to be Carrie's Mama...but not Andrew's...but I could've been his teacher!

I met Carrie playing Scrabulous...a very thinly disguised version of Scrabble...on Facebook. After a few months of playing daily she said she had been playing against someone who now wanted to play against me. Enter the boy cub, Andrew. I think the three of us have played in one combination or another, every single day since then.

For lack of a better explanation...there are so many parts that make up who "Mel" is...and even those closest to me don't "get" all of those parts. It's self preservation...if you share too much of yourself, if you give someone else too much power over you, you're going to get hurt. I once told Carrie that I intended to use blogging as a way to "put myself together again" or merge all of those parts into one. She said, "I already love every part of you that you've shared with me. Why wouldn't I love the rest?" I cried then...I'm crying now. She has shown me that it is absolutely ok to FEEL. I've spent years shoving my feelings down...or trying to ignore them. That works really well until they explode. She taught me to just go ahead and feel...even if it hurts...even if it's bad...because if you don't? Well, you're going to have a mess to clean up afterwards...or you're going to be so busy NOT feeling you're going to miss the GOOD feelings too.

And Andrew? What has he taught the old Mama Bear? Well, I mean besides the fact that he can make up totally ridiculous words that nobody has ever heard of and get hundreds of points for them? In his own words, "I'm a happy bunny." And he is. He goes through drama just like the rest of us but he deals with it and then lets it go. No matter WHAT kind of a day it has been he's always Andrew...he's always himself. I so admire him for that...among many other things.

So as Mama Bear continues to grow and change and become "Mel 46.0", she is so thankful for her cubs and their "Feel It...Deal With It...Forget It" strategy. They both accept me for who I am...whoever that might be at any given moment...they trust me...and I trust them. Yeah...I said that...I TRUST them. That's really scary...because darn near every single piece of Mel, loves these two people.

Thanks as always for reading! ")

Another bunch of disjointed ramblings...

Another word about comments...when someone leaves a comment on the blog I'm supposed to get an email telling me about it. Sometimes this happens...sometimes it doesn't! LOL If I have missed replying to someone's comment please forgive me. The only way I find out about some of them is if I stumble upon one when I'm typing a new post.

My humblest apologies to our neighborhood for the state of my flowerbeds. I'm embarrassed that I've let them go so badly this season. I found out it took me much longer than I would've hoped to get used to taking care of two kids, a house, two cats...etc.! Once I finally figured out how to juggle all of that, along came my surgery/surgeries and I wasn't ALLOWED to play in my overgrown weed patches. My landscaping suffered greatly. I promise to do better next year!

The boys get along like they were littermates. I still can't get over it. I've never had two cats get along let alone love each other like these two do. The girls think they are endlessly fascinating and Claire is madly in love with Gus who just lies there purring and lets her do just about whatever she wants. Yet another double blessing from God.

And yes, I'm going to talk about my cats if I want to. They are just as much a part of my family as my girls. I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you don't understand it there's nothing I can do or say that will illuminate it for you. You either get it or you don't. I'm not being snide or sarcastic so please don't read that tone into my words. I'm only saying, either you're an animal person or you're not. If you're not, please don't hold it against those of us who are! ")

The girls are growing and changing every single day. They have both gotten so TALL! We went for our first vacation as a family of four in late August. We spent five days or so in and around Frankenmuth, Michigan. It was so much fun...but I was glad to get home too! The girls had a blast. They loved Bronner's...they are their Mama's daughters after all. The last time Garry and I were there was two months before we received our referral for Hope. We had visited many times before and found it such a special place. We purchased our stockings there...one for Mama, one for Daddy, and one for Hope...whom we hadn't even seen yet. The emotions that washed over me as I walked through those doors again...this time not only with Hope but with Claire who wasn't even a THOUGHT the last time we were there. And of course, we bought Claire *her* stocking on this trip. ")

Hope started her second year of preschool in September. She has the same teacher she did last year and she's in the same room...and she loves it! I pray she can *always* be this excited about school. She is still into Lilo and Stitch...loves to play with Little People...likes to visit the library and devours just about any book you hand her...still obsessed with Little Einsteins...and she loves her little sister.

One of the mother's at Hope's preschool whose child was also returning this fall saw Claire and said, "She's not a baby anymore! She's a real live toddler!" Yeah, she's her own person. She has the strongest personality of any human being, adult OR child, I've ever known. She's got a temper like nothing I've ever witnessed...and of course have had jokes tossed my way about my *own* temper. ") She will literally eat just about anything and in huge amounts. She is not only walking, but running and climbing as well. She does a lot of talking...we can make out most of it but I wouldn't put anyone else on the spot! LOL She's got her own words and sounds for a lot of things...and most of them sound very similar. Our pediatrician's have assured us that this is normal and she's exactly where she's supposed to be developmentally. She knows everyone in our family and calls us by name. I am Mama. Garry is Da-Da. Hope is Puh-Puh. Gus is Guh. And Wally? Well, I'm not really sure how to spell her version of Wally! LOL She is another little beacon. People flock to her just like they did and continue to do with Hope.

I love both of my girls fiercely...but don't think for a moment that life with them is all hearts and flowers! LOL As much as they adore each other there are screaming fits...both individually and together! Today they were fighting over a toy. I put the toy in timeout. I've found that's more effective that putting the girls in timeout! We've had some small jealousy issues but really nothing major. In short they're perfectly normal sisters.

A word about posting pictures...I'm becoming increasingly uneasy about posting pictures of my girls online. There are too many nutjobs out there that will snag pictures of children and do God only knows with them. At one point I had some posted at Yahoo photos. They could only be seen by folks I allowed to see them. Yahoo photos is no more...so I've got some up at facebook.com. It's not foolproof but at least I can attempt to restrict their viewing to people I know.

Hope and I decorated the house for Halloween this week. She is so excited about trick or treat...and so am I! ") I've waited so long to have two that can share a "theme"! LOL Terri, you will enjoy this...

Last year I looked all over for a Stitch costume for Claire. I had high hopes she'd be home for Halloween and I wanted to dress the girls like Lilo and Stitch. Hey, it isn't hard. Hope wants to be that EVERY year! The only ones I could find were for beaucoup bucks and I couldn't see paying that amount of money and not knowing what size she'd be or even if she'd be here. SO! This year, after MANY years of coaxing, Hope agreed to be Mulan. I was just about doing cartwheels in the street. I went online trying to find a Mushu costume for Claire. Again, if I wanted to pay $40-$60 it wasn't a problem. So I thought maybe I'd dress her like Yoda...simply because I'm insane and I think it would be hilarious. Last year AFTER Halloween, I bought several costumes for next to nothing that were on clearance at The Disney Store. We gave some to Hope for Christmas and some for her birthday. She uses them to play dress up. One of them was a Hula Lilo costume. It still fits her perfectly...so I said to her, "Would you like to wear your Hula Lilo costume this year and maybe Claire can dress like Stitch?" She was jumping up and down she was so excited. I went straight to eBay, found a brand new one in Claire's size, and got it for less than $25 WITH shipping and insurance. It arrived yesterday. It is simply ridiculous how excited I am about it! LOL

A word for those still waiting for referrals...AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!! My heart just aches for these folks! CCAA just finished matching babies to parents whose LID's went to the end of November...*2005*! To put that into perspective...our LID was September 5, 2005. Claire has been home for almost nine months. People whose LID's were only three months after ours are still waiting to see a picture of their baby. AND, geez I thought "The Great LID Mix-Up" was horrifying. That doesn't even begin to compare with what's going on now. You can read about it starting here. You will end up at the Rumor Queen's site. You are looking for posts titled "A Mystery", "Still A Mystery", and "Trying to Solve the Mystery". To Cheri, Shane, and everyone else still waiting...JUST HOLD ON! YOU ARE SO CLOSE!

I've rambled long enough. I'm headed over to facebook to play Scrabble. I am hopelessly addicted to online scrabble and am currently playing 13 games. ")

Barb, if you are reading this please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you! ")

Blessings y'all!