Thursday, November 13, 2008

So! It's that time again!

I want to thank the Man Upstairs again...for letting me hang around for another year to watch my girls grow and change...nag the man I love...and be a pest to those who love me both near and far...year 46...check.

I'm extremely thankful and utterly grateful that I am still in touch with several of my former students...and they don't seem to feel I've ruined their lives! ; ) My Lil' Lis' came to visit me a few months ago...what a gorgeous, intelligent, confident young woman she is. I'm so very proud of her...can you tell? She has bestowed my latest nickname upon me...Mama Bear.

I feel the need to thank Terri yet again...although I've thanked her numerous times...both publicly and privately...but she needs to hear it again. This person...this friend...this Twinkie...who has been a part of my life literally since I was Hope's age was THE only person who believed me. Yes, she believed *in* me and still does. But she was the only human being, albeit a child herself, who believed a scared and bewildered Mel when a lot of other trusted adults should have. She's one strong broad...and she's got one tough Mama of her own...and I love them both.

Yet another blessing in my life is my friend Linda. This woman was the first person to sign my guestbook at Prayer, Praise & Peace many years ago. I wrote her back...and it just grew from there. She has helped me through more crud than I ever want to go through again. It was Linda who led me to my own personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I didn't know such a thing was possible...but she showed me it was...and I am so thankful!

And then there are my cubs. How can I ever begin to tell y'all just how special these two people are to me...and just how quickly they became that special? I don't trust people...I've said it before and I'll say it again...I just don't trust people. Well, ok...every ten years or so I attach to one new online friend. But it hasn't been ten years since the last attachment...and there are two cubs. I call them my cubs because I have come to feel extremely maternal towards both of them. I suppose that technically I *am* old enough to be Carrie's Mama...but not Andrew's...but I could've been his teacher!

I met Carrie playing Scrabulous...a very thinly disguised version of Scrabble...on Facebook. After a few months of playing daily she said she had been playing against someone who now wanted to play against me. Enter the boy cub, Andrew. I think the three of us have played in one combination or another, every single day since then.

For lack of a better explanation...there are so many parts that make up who "Mel" is...and even those closest to me don't "get" all of those parts. It's self preservation...if you share too much of yourself, if you give someone else too much power over you, you're going to get hurt. I once told Carrie that I intended to use blogging as a way to "put myself together again" or merge all of those parts into one. She said, "I already love every part of you that you've shared with me. Why wouldn't I love the rest?" I cried then...I'm crying now. She has shown me that it is absolutely ok to FEEL. I've spent years shoving my feelings down...or trying to ignore them. That works really well until they explode. She taught me to just go ahead and feel...even if it hurts...even if it's bad...because if you don't? Well, you're going to have a mess to clean up afterwards...or you're going to be so busy NOT feeling you're going to miss the GOOD feelings too.

And Andrew? What has he taught the old Mama Bear? Well, I mean besides the fact that he can make up totally ridiculous words that nobody has ever heard of and get hundreds of points for them? In his own words, "I'm a happy bunny." And he is. He goes through drama just like the rest of us but he deals with it and then lets it go. No matter WHAT kind of a day it has been he's always Andrew...he's always himself. I so admire him for that...among many other things.

So as Mama Bear continues to grow and change and become "Mel 46.0", she is so thankful for her cubs and their "Feel It...Deal With It...Forget It" strategy. They both accept me for who I am...whoever that might be at any given moment...they trust me...and I trust them. Yeah...I said that...I TRUST them. That's really scary...because darn near every single piece of Mel, loves these two people.

Thanks as always for reading! ")


Anonymous said...

This bear thing is getting out of hand, I was given a production meeting plan today made by one of the first years and I was listed as bear. I swear they don't know my real name

Mel said...

I wonder why nobody knows your real name...Anonymous? ; p

Kat said...

This is just such a thankful kind of day. I love it! :)

You are blessed to have such wonderful friends. :)

Carrie said...

Seriously...I'm printing this and carrying it with me. You are an amazing friend and I love you truly, madly, deeply and insanely!

What would I do without you?!

Mel said...

Well Sista Bear...lucky for never have to find out. I love you too!

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