Gotcha Day...Number 3!

Three years ago today, I was awakened by God at 3:31 a.m.  At that exact moment, my precious daughter Claire was being held by her father for the first time...halfway around the world.  To read my posts for that day click here and here.  The trials we had to endure to bring this child of mine home are well documented at this blog...feel free to wander through the entries one day when you are bored out of your mind!

You may remember I used to be a champion wall builder?  You know...shoving my feelings...good or bad...behind 50 foot walls surrounded with razor wire...and a moat full of rabid crocodiles...swimming in radioactive muck?  I built a doozy of a one around all things Claire while we were waiting for her.  For reasons you can find detailed in many posts here, I was not allowed to travel to China to bring Claire home...and I think that was the one...the final act...that not only took the wall to epic proportions...but also put a roof on it.

If you've been following my ramblings since July-August of 2009, you know that all of those walls have been obliterated and I've been dealing with all the emotions sealed behind said walls.  A great portion of those emotions are of the curl into a fetal position and cry for a week variety.  But on November 4th, of last year, I discovered that not every emotion that was set free was necessarily evil.  Some were an absolute gift from God.

You see…I love Claire…I’ve loved her since before she existed…but it was never the way I loved Hope…and I fought that one too. The day they handed Hope to me…well…I hadn’t eaten for 2-3 days…nobody spoke English…everything was like I was on another planet. In the late afternoon I had a meltdown. Here I was...suddenly handed this LIFE I was now responsible for!  What did I know about raising a child?  You mean the PRC is going to trust ME with one of their babies?  A wall went up that afternoon and I was sure I wasn't ever going to love Hope the way she needed and deserved to be loved. Yet, just after a few hours sleep, when she woke up crying in the middle of the night…Mama was the one who jumped out of bed to take care of her. I fell hopelessly in love with her that second day.  You know...you look at her and light is emanating from her...and you get all goofy...and you're positive she is the single most beautiful creature God has ever created hopelessly in love?

I’ve never had that with Claire. We had so many setbacks…I built so many walls. Even when she first came home…here was this little stranger who was taking my attention away from Hope.

Sooo…no more walls…they're gone now...right?

November 4, 2009 I'm sitting on the stairs holding Claire after her nap.  She wanted me to hold her on the stairs.  I don't know why...it's not like we'd ever done it before.  And as I was holding her I started getting her hair wet.  (This is thinly disguised code for soaking her hair with my tears.  Only those I love more than life itself have had the distinct pleasure.)  I discovered that day that I had fallen madly in love with my youngest daughter.

That day was the first time I’ve ever cried over her while I was holding her. She got pretty scared…I told her it was just Mama’s happy tears because I love her so much. She kept shaking her head and saying, “NO!" then trying to wipe my tears. I called to Hope and said, “Hopie? Does Mama cry happy tears?” In her own completely exasperated 6 year old way she hollered back, “Yeeeeeessss…all the time!”

So Claire...she's such a clown…does different voices…such a nurturer…even wants to take care of me…she’s got a wicked sense of humor…thinks the words "boogers" and "underpants" are wildly hilarious...yeah…the school is going to be calling me about this one frequently. This morning she told me a ghost story that had me in stitches! It went something like this: "Once upon a time there was a scaaaaaaaaaaaaaary ghost! He was upstairs. He smelled lunch downstairs...at my house! But I couldn't see him...because he was scaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaary!" Now mind you the whole time she was doing this she had her little hands at face level wiggling her fingers back and forth for effect.

And just for Carolina?  Joepie de poepie!!!!!!!!!!  If you don't get that reference check this post and the comments that follow...which I see is dated a year ago yesterday!  Yes, the dreaded potty training dragon has been slain!  JOEPIE DE POEPIE!!!!  She's still wearing "Dora's"...whatever Pampers' version of pull-ups are called.  Hey, they're covered with Dora The Explorer...we call them Dora's!  She's still wearing Dora's for nap and bedtime.  I have purchased my last pack of diapers.  Again I cry, "JOEPIE DE POEPIE!!!!"

So what do we do for Gotcha Day?  Well, it's different really every year.  We follow the girls' leads.  This year Claire wants me to make "padiddie" (spaghetti) for dinner.  I'm also going to bake a cake as soon as I'm done here.  She'll receive one of her Gotcha Day gifts Garry purchased in China using MY LIST (another giggle inducing reference to former posts).  She, like Hope at age three, could care less about China.  The pictures, videos, etc. can wait until she's ready for them.

And what will we do for Hope's Gotcha Day?  Wait and see...it's next Friday.  ")

Be blessed y'all...until next time.



P.S.  And although I have already thanked my "Live Journal" numerous times for being the catalyst that triggered the destruction of my walls?  Again...thank you from the bottom of my heart.

ABC Wednesday---A is for...Adult Diapers! Aye Carumba!

So I've decided to give ABC Wednesday a try. To find out more about ABC Wednesday drop by Mrs. Nesbitt's Place.

No...I'm not wearing adult diapers. I'm not quite ready for those...yet. However, I'm fairly sure Claire will be wearing them if she doesn't decide to use the potty sometime soon. I think when we were going through this with Hope I had resigned myself to the fact that she would be wearing them at her prom...with Claire? Think WEDDING. I'm sure that by that time they'll have some reaaaaally cute ones...maybe even with little lace flowers...or dare I say a thong? Shoot, by that time I will be ready for them...we could get a mother/daughter set.

Yes, we're smack dab in the trenches of potty training again. And yes...I *know* that term is no longer PC. I don't care what you call it...Toilet Training, Toilet Teaching, Fecal Foundations, UD Ed. (urination/defecation education), Commode Edification, Stool Nirvana, Urination Edification, Bowl Enlightenment, P & P Workshop (you figure it out), Pee Pee Pontification, Diaper Re-Education...it matters not. The final goal, no matter how many decades it may take, is the same. Frankly I don't sit my kids down and announce, "Today we will begin Potty Training." So it's not like they're ever going to hear that term anyway.

I've read the books...I've listened to the "experts"...and the countless sweet and well intentioned comments from mothers of other two year olds who were either completely trained by the time they were 9 months old...or in utero. "We just had to SHOW her the potty and that was that!" How wonderful! Hope loved to sit on her potty too! In the middle of the family room fully clothed...it made a great tv chair.

One such expert? John Rosemond. I LOVE him. I have had the distinct pleasure of seeing this man in person. I mean...in a world devoid of common sense he is a BEACON! Well...except for that Naked and $75 bit of wisdom. Rosemond advocates stripping your toddler...at least from the waist down...and letting her run free through your home for several days. Here's the most succinct description I found online:

"Parent(s) stay at home with the child for several days and allow the child to walk around the house naked all day long. The potty is put out so it is constantly available to the child. Parents regularly remind the child to use the potty when necessary. Rosemond argues that children won't tolerate urine and feces running down their legs, and will quickly learn to go to the potty to avoid accidents. The $75 is for carpet cleaning."

Ummm...yeah...at this point I'm also thinking that A could be for Alcohol. I'm thinking Mr. Rosemond must've had an off day when he posed this one...I dunno...maybe the space heater in his office was malfunctioning or something? I remember seeing a piece on 20/20 or some such show years ago having to do with Naked and $75. At least one of the couples who tried it summed it up by saying, "It took more than $75 to clean our carpets...and our home smelled like a barn." Not really a resounding endorsement...eh?

It's not that Claire isn't aware of the whole deal...believe me...she's aware. I can sit her on the potty for ten minutes, or twenty minutes, or thirty minutes. The result is always the same. "Mama! All done!" Mama says, "Did you pee pee in the potty?" Claire answers, "No." Mama says, "Are you ever going to go pee pee in the potty?" Claire answers, "No." Soooo...Mama puts another Easy Up on her, she puts on her pants, and now her slippers...and before we get back downstairs she announces, "Mama! Wet!"

::deep, resounding, soul wrenching sigh of parental frustration::

Last week I was sitting at the computer. She came running in, put all of her weight on her left leg, raised her right hip and cheek into the air, pointed at her backside, made a pretty nasty face, and proclaimed, "Mama! Poopy!" Oh! Did I mention we'd just gotten off the potty?

Yes, I know these are all good signs. She is aware of what's happening and things WILL get better. But I also think there are probably a lot of parents out there who share, have shared, or WILL share in my frustration. The best potty training advice I EVER got was from my friend Carol. I asked her how long it took her son Nicholas to complete his Potty Training. All she said was, "It takes a really long time."

I was talking about it with Garry this morning and both of us were dying laughing. He said he sat her on the potty before bath last night and she was, and I quote, "working really hard." He said she sucked her stomach in as far as it would go and then made these little grunting noises. Then she made this little face and threw up her arms, again, quoting, "as if to say, 'I got nothin!'"

Such is the life when you Adopt two Angels from Across the globe.

Aye Carumba...Alleluia...Amen!