Whoo hoo! Both girls are sleeping...it's FINALLY stopped snowing outside...now we have 18 or so inches of the white stuff with below zero wind chills. Ohio is simply LOVELY! ")

As promised...here is your update...

Let me preface this by saying that the two weeks Garry was in China were probably the most harrowing of my life. It is neither a time I want to relive or think about. I was barely holding it together and by the mid-point of the trip I was finding it harder and harder *to* hold it together. For all those who prayed, called, cleared the driveway, emailed, or posted at the blog, I am eternally grateful for your support. YOU are the ones who held me together.

SO! By the time January 31st rolled around I was clutching my last thread...with my hangnails! I had joked with Garry that I would be waiting at the airport around noon...his flight wasn't due until 6. I started tracking his flight around 10 or so that morning and I actually, physically, jumped up and down when I saw it. They were already over western Canada and beginning their turn towards Detroit. NEVER has a silly little picture of a white airplane pasted over a map of Canada brought so much unfettered JOY to my life!

He called after they landed in Detroit and got through immigration and customs. Again, just seeing "Garry Cell" on my caller I.D. was enough to send me into fits of cartwheels! Claire hadn't slept, neither had he...both were tired, cranky, and hungry. Honestly, it was all I could do not to get in the car right then and drive to Akron/Canton...even though he wasn't due to leave Detroit for another 2-3 hours.

I woke Hope up from her nap around 4, got her ready, gagged down some more oyster crackers...(I don't care if I ever see another one of those things again...I lived on them for two weeks) and by that time it was a little after 4:30. I had planned on leaving around 4:45 in an attempt to avoid the heaviest traffic AND get to the airport while the sun was still shining. We left here around 4:50 and as soon as I pulled out onto the street I forgot how to get to the airport. My mind went completely blank...hand to my heart. Thank God for his grace and mercy because I figured it out before I had to get on any major highway! Traffic was pretty much a nightmare but whenever I needed to change lanes or merge, He cleared the way for me. I can't say when we arrived at the airport because, my mind being what it was, I forgot to put on a watch! DUH! I'm guessing it was close to 5:30 and his plane was due in at 5:58.

Hope and I checked the board and there was nothing listed for the status of his flight. Right away...stomach started bothering me. We sat down and waited...watched several flights worth of passengers walk past us...Hope ate the Honey Nut Cheerios that I had brought for her. When we got up to throw her trash away I checked the board again and now his flight was flashing DELAYED. We walked upstairs to the observation deck which gave us a great view of the air conditioning units. If we squinted, and looked faaaaar off into the distance I think what we were looking at were the runways...but I can't be sure! LOL Back downstairs...walk a little...check the board...still delayed...watch the time on the board change at least 6 different times from 5:58 to 6:19. The last one just about did me in. It said, "Now arriving 6:19." And the clock below it said, "6:20". I really was about to lose it. I had long since put the camera away...Hope was going completely stir crazy. We sat down again and another group of passengers made their way past us. No Garry or Claire. Hope started whining about not wanting to wait anymore...my stomach felt like it was going to make a run for it...and there they were. He had been the last one off of the plane and of course it took him longer having to carry her and get her ready for the cold.

I started WEEPING the minute I saw them. I couldn't even stand...my legs wouldn't work. I just sat there squeaking, "There they are!", and holding on tight to Hopie. She was jumping up and down and shrieking, "DADDY! DADDY!" I remember hearing his voice so I knew it was safe to let go of Hope. I remember reaching out my hand and him taking it, and I remember the stress leaving my body for the first time in a long time.

After hugs and kisses all around, I tried to get Claire's attention. She was exhausted, sick, and didn't know me from Adam. No matter HOW prepared you think you are for that, you aren't. She turned completely away from me. I started to sing the lullaby I had recorded that Garry had played for her in China. She turned her head towards me, looked me straight in the eyes, and reached out to touch my face. Yeah, I was bawling, but I think I bawled pretty much continuously from the moment I saw them coming towards us.

As we went to get their luggage and as we walked out into the deep freeze that has become NE Ohio, I don't remember a whole lot of people around us, but those who were there, were smiling and sharing our joy.

Once we were all loaded in the car we held hands and thanked God for bringing us all back together. Yeah...still crying.

Claire rode VERY well for her first time in the carseat. She was a little scared at first but her big sister, sitting right beside her, kept cooing, "Ni hao Li Lu. Ni hao." Uh-huh...crying.

When we got home and Garry carried her in the house I was completely overwhelmed with the need to hold her. I said, "Can I hold her?" He just laughed at me and handed her over. She did ok, but she didn't want Daddy to get too far away from her.

Again, what words are there to tell you what a wonderful job he did? And once we were home, it's not like he could rest either. When she cried, she wouldn't accept comfort from me, she needed Daddy. The first couple of nights home, he maybe saw three hours of shut-eye.

It has only been in the last 3-4 days that she has realized that I am Mama and I'm not going anywhere. She will hold eye contact with me now, whereas before she stared at the ceiling while I was feeding her. She'll actively try to GET my attention and then just laugh the heartiest little laugh. Her smiles are absolutely addictive! She will put her arms out to me to pick her up and she even came to me FROM Daddy.

When she first joined us she could barely roll over. She remedied that while in China. She could sit, but not for very long. That is also improving. The kid is strong. She has a WHOLE lot more upper body and trunk strength than Hope did at this point. She also had no interest or clue as to how to eat from a spoon. Again, that's been taken care of now too. Baby food...homemade or jarred is FABULOUS...as are crackers. She has four teeth and more coming in. I know I'm probably forgetting something but I'm on a deadline. She has awakened and is now on my lap! You try typing with World's Strongest and Grabbiest Baby on your lap!

Hope has her moments. She does really well most days but I don't mind telling you she's had two days this week that, well, they weren't pretty. Her two morning a week preschool has been cancelled so many times due to weather for the last two weeks...and she NEEDS that time to just be Hope away from her sister. She finally got to go today and enjoy her Valentine's Party. She was in a much better mood when I picked her up.

Garry went back to work on Monday and I did surprisingly ok. Tuesday was no school for Hope and she was just not happy...and it rubbed off on her sister! Garry stayed home yesterday due to the weather. Thank God he did...we didn't have any heat! It was quickly resolved and again, thank God for our fireplace. Today was Mama's first trip to preschool with both girls. Aye carumba. It takes 30 minutes just to get them both in their carseats!

Ok, I'm going to have to quit for now. Claire has discovered that smacking the keyboard is WICKED FUN!

Next nap, more pictures!

Claire's lullaby, Baby Mine, can be found on the music player at the bottom of the page.

OMG!!! OMG!!! OMG!!!!

I just checked his flight online and they're already coming down over western Canada! I never imagined that a picture of a little white airplane stuck over Canada would make me this happy!

Can't stop crying...or praising God!!! Just a few more hours!!!!!!!!!!!

So...I guess it's ok to spill our big secret to y'all. As if the whole process isn't stressful enough, we had one added little bit of stress that we had to deal with.

Shortly after we turned in our completed dossier, our friend and attorney, Fred, passed away unexpectedly. Tragic in and of itself as he was one of the kindest, funniest, and most gentle humans to ever bless our lives. A couple of weeks after his passing, I had Garry call the agency to see if this would effect...affect...I can never remember which one is correct...our process.

Garry was told, "This is a big one. He notarized all of your documents. His notary expired on his death. At any time during the process, if anyone in China has any questions about your dossier, and finds out that he is no longer living, you will have to start over from the very beginning." As Garry sat in stunned silence he was then told, "Don't tell ANYONE."

So you see, any time from August 2005, until Garry finished the paperwork in the last couple of weeks in China, we could've lost our baby. I think the very best news we've ever received came from Zhou the night before the "official" ceremony. He told Garry, "No more worries. She yours."

Just a few more hours my friends...just a few more hours....

Peace has returned to our home. ::sigh:: It is a wonderful feeling.

Yesterday was possibly the longest day of my life...and I didn't spend it trapped on an airplane. We had to be out of the door by 5 a.m. to get Garry to the airport on time. I woke Hope up, put her on the potty, and went into her room to get her some clothes. When I went back into the bathroom she was sitting there, quiet as a mouse, with tears streaming down her face. When I asked her what was wrong she said, "Nothin!" I asked her if she was sad. She said, "Yes!" Daddy came around the corner and she just wept..."I don't want Daddy to go to China!" Her heart was breaking...my heart was breaking...I can't even imagine what Garry felt like.

When we got to the airport, we waited for Garry while he checked in. We stood beside a group of 6-8 young Asian men who were in love with Hopie. They were all smiles and kept waving at her trying to get her to wave back. One of them looked at me and said, "She crying!" Yes...she was. But nothing like what she was doing about 20 minutes after that when we were saying good-bye to Daddy before he went through security. It was just tragic. She was screaming and freaking out...she was doing exactly what I felt like doing but couldn't. I couldn't even look at Garry because I knew I would lose it completely. We hugged him good-bye, then I picked her up and we walked off through the airport and out into the frigid morning air with tears streaming down both of our faces. Again, I don't know how Garry managed to get on the plane...he's a strong man.

We spent the day doing quiet things. She wanted to look for pictures of The Three Gorges. Don't ask...physically she's three...mentally I'm thinking in her thirties. We couldn't find any so I went online and printed out one for her. She says it's ok for now, but she wants Daddy to email her one from China. The reason? When I showed her the picture of The Three Gorges she said, "I can only see two."

We made a paper chain to hang in her room. Last night before bed she got to take off one link to symbolize her first day without Daddy was over. We have little presents ready for her...one for each day he is gone. (Thank you Sandy for the idea!) Each morning I make a big deal out of "finding a present that Daddy and Claire hid for her." She loves unwrapping them and so far, each day has asked if there are any more! We also bought her some of those individual boxes of cereal. I have them lined up on the kitchen counter so she can choose one each morning and watch the boxes dwindle each day until Daddy & Claire get home.

Me? I just play games in my head...you only have to clean the bathrooms two times and then they'll be home! You get the idea.

I spent A LOT of time yesterday online tracking his flights. He had promised to call during a layover and didn't. I was freaking out big time. You can imagine the things I had going through my head. When I talked to him this morning I asked what had happened. He said that he was afraid him calling so soon would upset Hope. He's such a good Daddy. She talked to him this morning and was just the picture of total cuteness. As soon as she heard his voice her face lit up with the brightest smile. She stood there talking to him, smiling, and wringing her little hands. It was adorable.

Thanks to everyone who has offered to help should we need you. We appreciate it! So far so good. We're a pretty independent bunch...but we will certainly give you a call if we need something.

Many of you have asked us for specific dates. When we went through the process for Hope we published all the important trip dates, passed out our itinerary...why nothing this time? Well...this time is different! This time it is all about a family of three having the time to bond and become a family of four. Hope had BOTH of her parents with her in China. She had to depend on both of us to take care of her. By the time we got home, she had bonded with us and knew that we were Mama and Daddy. Claire isn't going to have that luxury. We are sure she will bond with Garry as she will have to trust him to care for her in China. But once they get off that plane back home, she's not going to know Mama or Hope from any of the other strangers that are milling around her at the airport. More than likely it will be a rough couple of weeks as she adjusts not only to her new surroundings but as she learns that I am her Mama and I'm not leaving her. And let's not forget she's got a big sister who's jumping up and down to get ahold of her!

I have given Garry "STRICT INSTRUCTIONS" (LOL) that he is not to let ANY women hold her. I keep remembering what we were told in our attachment and bonding class that we had to take the first time through. Babies will bond three times before they start to distrust. The first time is with their birth parents. And yes, even those who are put up for adoption at such a young age have bonded with their birth parents. Both of my girls will forever be bonded to their birth mothers if only by the simple fact that they carried them inside their bodies for nine months. The second bonding has already occurred with the caretakers at the orphanage. In both cases, those she has bonded with have "left" her. The third bonding occurs with their new parents. So you see...with Hope and I not making the trip, it looks like we're going to miss the third bonding period.

In an attempt to at least "introduce" ourselves to her, I prepared a book with pictures of all of us for Garry to take with him. I also made a video of me singing a lullaby to Claire, and one of Hope talking and singing to her. In this way he can play them over and over for her while we are apart.

Another thing that I hear a lot is, "You must be so excited!" Not really. For over two years now we've had to keep our emotions in check. Anger and frustration became the only emotions we knew. But now, ever so slightly...especially after hearing that Garry was safely in Beijing...things are starting to change. I am still guarded...you can't help be with this whole process...but I'm starting to believe that this just may happen. No excitement yet, but something much more wonderful...inner peace.

Until next time!

P.S. You can hear Allison Krauss singing her version of Claire's lullaby at the bottom of the page.