Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Mel's Totally Excellent Cheesecake Adventure---Part One

Yes I'm still alive...I'm still growing...I'm still changing...although I have to say I'm ready for someone else to change for a bit...I need a break.  ; )

Taking a vacation this year seemed like the impossible dream.  The girls have gotten to the point where having them both in the car for longer than five minutes would drive the most hardened terrorist mad.  These kids are the champion tattlers/teasers/talkers.  My sanity has been stretched to its outer limits.

Several weeks ago The Spousal Unit told me to take a few days and just get away from everything.  I didn't wait for him to mention it again.  I rearranged a few appointments, and gave him my first choice of dates, which was last week.  He got that week off for vacation then I started looking for hotels.  You know...I'm usually the one who books the hotels, gets tickets etc.  That's never bothered me...but this was different...this was just for me.  I know...I'm...unique...for lack of a better term.  I looked at tons of hotels near where I wanted to disappear to.  They were either all booked or were so excessively expensive that I wouldn't have any money left over for fun  A friend of mine had recommended a hotel chain he had stayed at numerous times.  There wasn't one exactly close to where I wanted to be, but it was available for the dates I wanted and I got a killer online rate.

The next couple of weeks I kept myself busy, much like any other day.  One major project this spring and summer has been to tackle my landscaping.  It's not done yet, there is still a great deal I'll need to do next year, but I feel as if I may actually have a handle on things now where that's concerned.  This has obviously, upped my physical labor in a major way.  I am also still walking for an hour every day if the weather allows.  Add to those two things the fact that I'm dealing with a couple more major upheavals which I may or may not share in this forum, the appetite had for the most part disappeared and anorexia was knocking at the door again.  I refuse to refer to it as "my" anorexia.  That somehow implies ownership...that it needs to be nurtured...tended....cherished.  Forget that shit.  I implore anyone reading NOT refer to any disease or condition as "yours", unless it's something you truly treasure and want as a part of your life.  Myself?  I've spent enough time dealing with the sneaky little bastard.  It can leave me the hell alone for the rest of my life as far as I'm concerned!

As my date of departure got closer the little voices got louder.  You know..."you can't do this"..."you're going to get lost"..."you're going to get sick"..."you're going to get killed"..."your kids are going to hate you"..."you're a bad mother for leaving them"..."you're selfish"...they were all there along with quite a few more.  And with each one of those voices, my appetite left just a little more.  On Monday of last week I went in for my yearly check-up.  As the nurse was feeling along my spine she said, "Wait a've lost more weight...haven't you?"  I said, "I don't know..." knowing full well I was at least three pounds under my danger weight.  She checked the chart and said, "You've lost four more pounds.  You can't afford to lose four more pounds.  What are you going to do about it?"  I said, "I'm going away tomorrow and eat cheesecake for three days."  She said, "That's a good start."  I also told her that the mood swings are getting worse.  She told me to try adding a Vitamin D supplement every day.  I'll get back to you on that one.

That night we took the girls to their first baseball game.  We all had such a good time...but I couldn't eat.  I managed to get down a pretzel.  The next morning...the very thought of breakfast made me sick to my stomach.  I loaded the Jeep, threw a bag of oyster crackers on the seat beside me, hugged my kids, and hit the road.  As I told several people, "This is either going to cure me or kill me."

The weather last Tuesday was perfect.  The drive was gorgeous...just me...Rob Thomas...Aerosmith...and lots of trucks.  I LOVE trucks...all of them...but I have to say my favorite would be those bearing the Kenworth name.  The closer I got to my destination, the heavier the traffic got...the more confusing the directions became...more lanes appeared on the highway.  I turned off the CD player so I could concentrate and ended up exactly where I wanted to be.  I said a prayer of thanks as I pulled into my parking spot, sent a text to The Spousal Unit telling him I was ok, and started to explore.

I had chosen to visit one of those...I don't know what they're villages?  You know...bunches of stores all built to look like a small village or something?  I had heard good things about this place and had planned on spending a couple of days checking it out.  I hadn't even gotten out of the parking lot before I realized I had either lost or left home without my watch.  Well...there you go...I need to go buy a new watch!  I found The Fossil Store and spent 15-20 minutes checking out their inventory and chose a couple to try on.  When the young man handed me the second watch, I noticed that one of the cabochons was missing from the band.  I said, " looks like one of the stones is missing already from this one."  He was mortified...his manager was mortified...they pulled out a brand new one and handed it to me.  At this point?  I was having fun.  I already knew I was going to buy it...but I said, "Now...none of these stones are going to fall off like that other one did...right?  Huh?  Right?  Are you listening?"  After every question I would reach out and flick the guy's arm.  He was laughing...he knew I was having fun.  So was he.  I paid for my purchase while he set the time and the date.  I put on my new watch and headed out to take care of "my list".  If you've been reading me for any length of time, you know how I am about my lists.

I took care of my 5 for $25 Victoria's Secret fix next.  I'm addicted.  I don't care.  I've decided you can't have too many cute pairs of panties.  Thank you.

I wandered around some more and realized I felt hungry.  It was too early for lunch but I managed to find an Auntie Anne's and grab one of their deliciously buttery and salty hot pretzels to tide me over.  More walking...more looking...more break.

Now...this is one of those things I wish I had invented.  Seriously...just making the door wider and giving it an overlap so you have more privacy in the stall..and hide your hiny.  Yes, I took a flash picture...yes there was someone in the stall next to me.  Honestly, you should know me well enough by now to know...I DON'T CARE.

I also discovered the "new generation" of hand dryers.  Dear Lord!  They really work!  They also blow so hard you feel like you're in some type of astronaut training exercise and your jewelry/clothing/skin is going to shoot off of your body.  But yes...they do work.  And no...I didn't get a picture of that.

I continued to meander through "the village" and ended up at Macy's.  I was almost out of Sensuous and I figured Macy's should have an Estee counter.  I was right...I didn't have to go too far.  As luck would have it, Pam, as she introduced herself, had one gift set left.  It was the largest bottle they make, plus body lotion, plus shower gel, all for the same price as just the large bottle of perfume.  Of course, before I could pay her she had to ask if I would like to partake in any of their free services.  She gave me a brochure and I was reminded of the last Estee makeover I had gotten probaby 20 years ago.  To be fair?  I've also gotten great make-up tips and advice from the Estee employees.  This one was just...well...not.  She used a Kleenex to put the foundation on and then I don't know...a trowel for the rest of the make-up.  I had most of it wiped off before I got out of the store. I was...on my first solo adventure...and Pam was being so I told her I'd let her do one of the lip treatments.  It was supposed to make my lips look fuller.  I had to laugh...she made me take off my lipstick...and the shade she chose for my "makeover"...was the exact same Estee shade she made me wipe off.  It was fun to be pampered...I paid her for my Sensuous...thanked her...walked outside...and wiped it off!  HAAAAA!!!  Yeah...thanks Pam...but I'll do my own make-up.

I finished my tour, was starting to get hot...and hungry...and grouchy.  I put my packages in the Jeep, grabbed my nook, and headed into Barnes and Noble to cool off before I tried to put food into my stomach.  I powered up my nook, didn't see anything new/free in store that I needed to download and sat contentedly for the next 20 minutes or so in the quiet, air conditioned comfort...reading.  One last pitstop to The Cheesecake Factory!

Yes...that was my lunch...and dinner.  Those mashed potatoes were the best thing I've ever tasted and the spicy corn succotash was to die for.  The cajun spiced chicken was also good but geez!  I have no idea how many pieces of chicken were there to begin with but there were well over a dozen left when I was finished!  The servers are supposed to recommend their favorite flavor of cheesecake for your dessert.  It didn't matter what she said, I had already picked out my flavor before I left home several days previous.  I love poring over the menus online and deciding what I want well in advance!  It just so happened that her favorite and my choice were exactly the same!  Adam's Peanut Butter Cup Fudge Ripple...with chunks of peanut butter cups...and Butterfinger...and...yummmmmm.....  Oh, and yes, there was at least half of this left over for later as well.  ; )

I put lunch in the win column.  I ate...I chatted with the young couple next to me...I read a few more chapters...I enjoyed the air conditioning.

I glanced at my new watch and saw that it was time to hit the road.  My hotel was at least 30 minutes away, check-in time was fast approaching, I had a Jeep full of supplies that had been sitting in the heat for hours, and I wanted to be off of the highways before rush hour.  Back in the Jeep...look over my directions one last time...get the heck out of there.  Well...shortly after pulling out of the parking lot I was headed the wrong direction.  No big, it was basically all a big circle and I righted myself after a trip around the block.  Back on the highway...going the right direction...check.  Traffic...ick.  Four to six lanes...ick.  Somehow ended up going the wrong direction.  I believe I said...ummm...."fuck".  Yeah...I know I said that.

I actually recognized where I was at, got off at the next exit and was able to enter the highway going the right direction. I'm watching for my exit and am happy to see that the numbers are actually going towards the number I'm looking for instead of away.  I'm happy as a for all the loony traffic around me and not having a clue as to where I'm going.  I'm watching the exit numbers and see that mine should be next!  Guess wasn't.  Mine was skipped.  Yeah...another "fuck"...only this one was more like "FUCK!"  I looked at my directions again...I was exactly where they told me I should be...and exit.  At this point it became, "fuck, fuCK, FUCK!" followed by, "I CAN DO THIS!"  (That same person who recommended the hotel, told me at least twice before, when I felt like I was falling apart, "YOU CAN DO THIS!"  Well, I don't get to hear his voice anymore.  I think he's going through his own changes right now.  I pray I equipped him with at least a small fraction of the skills he gave me.)  So...I repeated again, "I CAN DO THIS!"  I saw what lane I needed to be in and of course I wasn't anywhere near it.  I started changing lanes and ended up right where the highway was either exit and get lost or drive like I used to in college...I called it "offensive driving"...and stay the course.  You may remember?  I can do this.  I slowed to almost a stop in the split, waited until I saw a chance, and took it.  Shortly after that, my exit appeared.  I was never so happy to see anything in my entire life.  Again, following the friend's directions of left, then two short rights, I was sitting in the hotel parking lot, breathing a huge sigh of relief.  I didn't throw up...I didn't call for help...I didn't cry...I didn't come unglued.  I just did it.

Another new adventure...checking in at a hotel.  Again...I know...I'm unique.  Got checked in, unpacked, sent an email home saying I was at the hotel, and collapsed into the desk chair to check my email.  While I enjoyed my triumph I chatted with a friend online.  He asked me what I was going to do for the rest of the evening.  I told him I was going to check out what was going on downstairs, hit the treadmill for an hour or so, grab a shower and finish my leftovers.  After idea.  He kept pressing so I said, "Well...maybe walk around naked.  God knows I haven't done that in ages."  He made me promise to stay in the room if I was going to do that.  ; )

I stuck pretty much to that schedule!  Ok, I didn't finish my leftovers but I did put a dent in them.  Hope called after swimming lessons and I talked to both girls and The Spousal Unit while I watched the Indians beat the Yankees.  I read until I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer and fell asleep listening to the trucks on the highway.  ")

Oh, and the walking around naked bit?  I saved that for the next day.  ")

Stay tuned...for Part Two...of Mel's Totally Excellent Cheesecake Adventure...same blog time...same blog channel...


Carolina said...

Oh Mel, that cheesecake... my mouth is watering... oh yummy. Lovely watch too. Can't wait to read about the rest of your holiday ;-) I hope you are alright Mel. Dealing with anorexia must be very difficult. Big kiss and a hug for you sweetheart :-) Now! give us the rest of this story!

Mel said...

My dear, sweet Carolina, I've whipped it before, I'll whip it again. Facing demons seems to be my specialty lately. I can do this! ") xoxoxo

Carolina said...



jay said...

Oh, wow, it sounds as if you had a GREAT time!! Love all the 'FUCK!'s - it's just what I would have been saying, too! LOL!

I'm with you on the makeover thing, too. I've had a couple done and each time couldn't wait to wipe it all off again. How funny that she chose the exact shade of lipstick that you normally wore, though!

Kat said...

I am so proud of you for working on casting out your demons! You are on top of things and I know you can win this! :)

That food looks delish!!!! Yum!
So glad you had a great time!

Mel said...

jay---high praise coming from the master! LOL I must've picked that word up from you. :)

Kat---THANK YOU! I just read my entries from last year at this time and I can't believe the difference. And yes...the food was KILLER!

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